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"Anyone got any tips for a Best Man's Speech?"

My mate is getting married in about 8 weeks, and he's asked me to be his best man. So:

1. I'm THE Best Man, ergo, I'm better than you lot.

2. I'm not *that* great, despite being the best, because I'm a little stuck when it comes to making a speech. So have any of you been Best Men? Or got any (helpful!) tips for the speech?

Cheers.

The sagacious one wrote:
> Mystique wrote:
> Give out four keys to four (Obviously) guys who have gone to the
> reception.
> More or less at the end of your speech, say you were told by a
> reliable source that {Enter the bride's name here} gave a key to her
> room to someone just in case {enter groom's name here} didn't turn
> up/said no/ everything went pear shaped and they didn't get married.
>
> Say something about how well it's gone and could that person hand
> the
> key back seeing as there isn't a need for it anymore.
>
> Four guys stand up and give the bride her keys back.....
>
> Would be funny if four guys, two women and a donkey hand back the
> keys.

I likey that. I must try it next opportunity.

AfroJoe wrote:
> Do it Budweiser style:
> "When I see *Enter Your Honour's mate who is getting married's
> name* I think, woah, now there's a guy who shouldn't be getting
> married!"

You're like, the fourth guy to say this.

Seems everyone likes that advery (moi included)

Mystique wrote:
> Give out four keys to four (Obviously) guys who have gone to the
> reception.
> More or less at the end of your speech, say you were told by a
> reliable source that {Enter the bride's name here} gave a key to her
> room to someone just in case {enter groom's name here} didn't turn
> up/said no/ everything went pear shaped and they didn't get married.
>
> Say something about how well it's gone and could that person hand the
> key back seeing as there isn't a need for it anymore.
>
> Four guys stand up and give the bride her keys back.....

Would be funny if four guys, two women and a donkey hand back the keys.

Give out four keys to four (Obviously) guys who have gone to the reception.
More or less at the end of your speech, say you were told by a reliable source that {Enter the bride's name here} gave a key to her room to someone just in case {enter groom's name here} didn't turn up/said no/ everything went pear shaped and they didn't get married.

Say something about how well it's gone and could that person hand the key back seeing as there isn't a need for it anymore.

Four guys stand up and give the bride her keys back.....

Do it Budweiser style:
"When I see *Enter Your Honour's mate who is getting married's name* I think, woah, now there's a guy who shouldn't be getting married!"

Forgot to mention. One thing I did was try and find out which famous people he shared his birthday with. I struck gold as he was born on the same date (not year ;) ) as Art Garfunkle (sic).

Cue a photoshopped photo of the best man who is totally bald through premature hair loss, and old art with a massive shock of a curly afro.

Try http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp

Theres a ton of example speeches (581) there that if you don't know what he's been up to, could be tailored to match your needs.

I did something similar when I as a best man (i.e. taking snippets from some, including things I knew he was interested in etc), and it went down really well :)

I went to my mate's wedding in Dublin last week. Another one of my mates was the best man. He'd known about the wedding for months but he didn't prepare his best man's speech.

What followed when he gave his so-called "speech" was a ghastly travesty of mammoth proportions. It was so short it was barely remembered, full of impulsive random comments, scattered with a plethora of inane ill-thought "witticisms".

It was filth incarnate.

I'd keep the speech factual and point out the current statistics: divorce rate, how long people remain married before they divorce, how much it costs to divorce and why blokes who aren't married are statistically happier than those who are. Also pointing out the cost of having kids, the fact that marriage means monogamy and that you've got your eye on the bride and are waiting to score her on the rebound; should result in great hilarity and people calling you the bestest best man ever!

maddmun wrote:
> "Last night he was like, "I don't wanna get married"
> and I'm like "Shut up, she's loaded", I mean, that's what
> marriage is about right? And love yeah."
>
> :-D

Lol, I like this a lot !