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"There's not enough room in this forum for the two of us." FM slammed his emptied whisky glass down on the wooden counter. "Step outside, Grix......"
Grix eyed FM carefully. They'd known each other for a long time, but things had been gettin' a little strained lately."
"What's this about, FM," he demanded, making his way through the packed but hushed saloon and pushing the swinging doors outwards as he stepped onto the dusty ground outside.
"Well," replied FM, pushing open the doors again and following Grix outside into the hot, dry air, "You've bushwhacked one of my topics just one time too many. It's time we had this out. Mano a Mano. Poster to Poster."
Grix paused in his stride to think of a witty retort about FM's last comment, then decided that now was probably not the time.
"So, what's it to be? 10 paces, turn and fire?" asked Grix, making sure his gunbelt was fastened properly.
"You know me better than that, Grix. 30 paces." FM checked his gunbelt. The Smith and Wesson 6-shot revolver hung loosely at his right hip.
They stood back to back under the glare of the midday sun, and started to count.....
1....2....3....
The occupants of the saloon were packing the windows trying to get a glimpse of the showdown outside. This was unheard of. The last shootout in the town of Last Chance Reserve had been quite a time ago, when the Er-no posse had cleaned out the Desperate Dans, but this was different. Two equally matched opponents were about to face off.
Insane Bartender was going even more nuts behind the saloon's counter because he was losing good sales whilst all this was going on.
Outside, the count was at 25.... as FM glanced to his right and saw PB on the roof of the Red Splat Hotel and Boarding House, shotgun at hand. PB nodded with a knowing look. FM nodded back.
The count was 26.... as Grix looked across to the SR Saddlery, where he spied Sniper with his trusty Winchester Rifle. Grix gave a brief nod. Sniper returned it.
27....28...29..
Dust whirled up as both men spun to face each other. The blast of PB's shotgun firing both barrels broke the deafening silence that preceeded it, and a cloud of sand flew up at Grix's feet as the buckshot ploughed into the ground.
Grix drew his gun and took aim, FM was still drawing his because he was left handed and his belt was on the wrong way, Sniper fired his rifle, and there was a sharp report, then a clatter as PB dropped his shotgun and swandived off the roof of the hotel and landed in a horse trough.
FM grappled with his pistol, it had snagged in the holster, and he reminded himself to be more careful where he left his chewing gum.
Grix took pity. (No he didn't). Grix fired his gun. Fortunately, FM and done his research and Grix's eyesight wasn't as good as it should have been, and at 30 paces it was like trying to read a Wanted Poster through a mirage. Grix's first bullet flew out of town faster than a newbie Gameaday winner. He wasn't sure if he had hit FM or not, but then he heard FM pull back the hammer of his Smith and Wesson with a
*click*
Grix eyed FM carefully. They'd known each other for a long time, but things had been gettin' a little strained lately."
"What's this about, FM," he demanded, making his way through the packed but hushed saloon and pushing the swinging doors outwards as he stepped onto the dusty ground outside.
"Well," replied FM, pushing open the doors again and following Grix outside into the hot, dry air, "You've bushwhacked one of my topics just one time too many. It's time we had this out. Mano a Mano. Poster to Poster."
Grix paused in his stride to think of a witty retort about FM's last comment, then decided that now was probably not the time.
"So, what's it to be? 10 paces, turn and fire?" asked Grix, making sure his gunbelt was fastened properly.
"You know me better than that, Grix. 30 paces." FM checked his gunbelt. The Smith and Wesson 6-shot revolver hung loosely at his right hip.
They stood back to back under the glare of the midday sun, and started to count.....
1....2....3....
The occupants of the saloon were packing the windows trying to get a glimpse of the showdown outside. This was unheard of. The last shootout in the town of Last Chance Reserve had been quite a time ago, when the Er-no posse had cleaned out the Desperate Dans, but this was different. Two equally matched opponents were about to face off.
Insane Bartender was going even more nuts behind the saloon's counter because he was losing good sales whilst all this was going on.
Outside, the count was at 25.... as FM glanced to his right and saw PB on the roof of the Red Splat Hotel and Boarding House, shotgun at hand. PB nodded with a knowing look. FM nodded back.
The count was 26.... as Grix looked across to the SR Saddlery, where he spied Sniper with his trusty Winchester Rifle. Grix gave a brief nod. Sniper returned it.
27....28...29..
Dust whirled up as both men spun to face each other. The blast of PB's shotgun firing both barrels broke the deafening silence that preceeded it, and a cloud of sand flew up at Grix's feet as the buckshot ploughed into the ground.
Grix drew his gun and took aim, FM was still drawing his because he was left handed and his belt was on the wrong way, Sniper fired his rifle, and there was a sharp report, then a clatter as PB dropped his shotgun and swandived off the roof of the hotel and landed in a horse trough.
FM grappled with his pistol, it had snagged in the holster, and he reminded himself to be more careful where he left his chewing gum.
Grix took pity. (No he didn't). Grix fired his gun. Fortunately, FM and done his research and Grix's eyesight wasn't as good as it should have been, and at 30 paces it was like trying to read a Wanted Poster through a mirage. Grix's first bullet flew out of town faster than a newbie Gameaday winner. He wasn't sure if he had hit FM or not, but then he heard FM pull back the hammer of his Smith and Wesson with a
*click*
Page:
Ant couldn't reach his Staff, but he asked for
the Staff to help. It took a lot of work, but suddenly they were free!!
But they were rolling along the ground now at a very high speed, still tied up by the roped from earlier.
"Ouch! Aw! Crap! Ant, do someth-ARRGGHH!!" Pb couldn't finish his sentance, as he hit his head on a large rock.
Ant managed to get his hand to his Staff, and asked the Staff to help him. The Staff rised, and suddenly, the sky darkened, and lighting was seen. Then, huge crack of thunder, as the Staff shot out beams of light at the ropes that were holding Ant and pb. They fell away, and now Ant and pb were about to roll down a huge cliff!!
"Nooo!!!" pb screamed.
They rolled off the cliff, into the void.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
As pb and Ant got closer and closer to the ground, the Staff again shot up, and sent it's beams straight at our two falling heroes.
Ant and pb were held in midair, and the Staff was struggling. Huge claps of thunder were heard, and it began to pour down with rain. LIGHTNING!! THUNDER!!
Cracks began to show in the cliff, due to the power the Staff was emmiting all around them.
The cliff then tumbled. Ant and pb were hit by rocks and stones, as the cliff seemed to fly past them.
After the dust had settled, the ground seemed to be a lot closer, but still too far away for them to survive!!
Ant and pb began to fall, as the Staff broke off. They screamed as the ground loomed closer and closer...they were gonna hit!!
Suddenly, inches above the ground, they stopped. THE STAFF!! The Stahh had agin stopped them, now just inches off the ground.
The Staff let go, and they fell safely onto the mud.
"Well....that was fun, wasn't it?" Ant said.
"Great," was pb's reply.
"Yep..."
Ant and pb whistled for a few moments, trying to think of something to talk about. It was an uncomfortable moment.
"Soooo...seen any...nice women lately??" Ant asked pb.
"errrr...yeah, actually. I saw that Stacy Lucifer a few days back, and d'you know what my wife said to me afterwards? She said I'm not to see any women of that kind ever again."
"Oh...really?? Oh...wow," Ant said, completely uninterested.
They both sat there, silent. Deathly silent.
the Staff to help. It took a lot of work, but suddenly they were free!!
But they were rolling along the ground now at a very high speed, still tied up by the roped from earlier.
"Ouch! Aw! Crap! Ant, do someth-ARRGGHH!!" Pb couldn't finish his sentance, as he hit his head on a large rock.
Ant managed to get his hand to his Staff, and asked the Staff to help him. The Staff rised, and suddenly, the sky darkened, and lighting was seen. Then, huge crack of thunder, as the Staff shot out beams of light at the ropes that were holding Ant and pb. They fell away, and now Ant and pb were about to roll down a huge cliff!!
"Nooo!!!" pb screamed.
They rolled off the cliff, into the void.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
As pb and Ant got closer and closer to the ground, the Staff again shot up, and sent it's beams straight at our two falling heroes.
Ant and pb were held in midair, and the Staff was struggling. Huge claps of thunder were heard, and it began to pour down with rain. LIGHTNING!! THUNDER!!
Cracks began to show in the cliff, due to the power the Staff was emmiting all around them.
The cliff then tumbled. Ant and pb were hit by rocks and stones, as the cliff seemed to fly past them.
After the dust had settled, the ground seemed to be a lot closer, but still too far away for them to survive!!
Ant and pb began to fall, as the Staff broke off. They screamed as the ground loomed closer and closer...they were gonna hit!!
Suddenly, inches above the ground, they stopped. THE STAFF!! The Stahh had agin stopped them, now just inches off the ground.
The Staff let go, and they fell safely onto the mud.
"Well....that was fun, wasn't it?" Ant said.
"Great," was pb's reply.
"Yep..."
Ant and pb whistled for a few moments, trying to think of something to talk about. It was an uncomfortable moment.
"Soooo...seen any...nice women lately??" Ant asked pb.
"errrr...yeah, actually. I saw that Stacy Lucifer a few days back, and d'you know what my wife said to me afterwards? She said I'm not to see any women of that kind ever again."
"Oh...really?? Oh...wow," Ant said, completely uninterested.
They both sat there, silent. Deathly silent.
...but before he could reach hit, there was a strange whirring whining noise, the like of which he had never heard before.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a large, blue, police box materialised accompanied by a strange, cheap, BBC produced synthetic noise that was very hard to describe, so the author gave up.
The door of the Tardis slowly opened, and a figure dressed in black appeared, his hollow breathing echoing about the surrounding area because of the large, black helmet that covered his head.
The figure stood still and addressed them:
"I am Darth Sheepy. I have followed you through time, and threads, and now I have caught up with you again."
Cue annoying Dr. Who ending credits music with a
*click*
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a large, blue, police box materialised accompanied by a strange, cheap, BBC produced synthetic noise that was very hard to describe, so the author gave up.
The door of the Tardis slowly opened, and a figure dressed in black appeared, his hollow breathing echoing about the surrounding area because of the large, black helmet that covered his head.
The figure stood still and addressed them:
"I am Darth Sheepy. I have followed you through time, and threads, and now I have caught up with you again."
Cue annoying Dr. Who ending credits music with a
*click*
Grix turned and realized that Pb wasn't with then either.
"Damn!" he said, "and I was waiting for him to come out of the toilet all this time."
He rushed into the wooden hut and a sigh of relief eminated from that direction soon after. The gang decided that there was only one action they could take, they'd go after the two missing friends. Just as soon as they'd set off though, a dark shadow came over the land and everything went very still and very quiet.
"I don't like this at all." said FM, looking at the sky. "I think the Dark Man is coming back for us now he has Ant out of the way."
They turned to look at FM and at once they each felt hands grab their arms. They were pulled backwards towards a waiting group of Indians who, Grix noticed, all had pure white eyes.
"My master would like to meet you now." said the chief Indian in a slow, almost artificial voice.
----------------------
Ant had been awoken from his sleep by a large bump from the cart. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but it seems that both he and pb had both succumb to the long journey and were now completely lost. The wagon stopped and they were both ushered out by several large indians who threw them on to the dusty ground and tied them to two tree branches.
They watched as a fire burnt in front of them, pb squinted and then called out to Ant. "Look, there in the fire. "
They watched as the dancing flames showed an image of the town and the rest of the gang being held by the Indians. Just then a dark shape moved in view of the image and both pb and Ant watched the look of horror on their friend's faces as the Dark Man approached them.
"We've got to get out of here and quick." said Ant, looking in his pockets. He had been practicing with the staff and had found that he could change its size. Luckily, the Indians hadn't searched his pockets when they caught him. Now if only he could reach it.
"Damn!" he said, "and I was waiting for him to come out of the toilet all this time."
He rushed into the wooden hut and a sigh of relief eminated from that direction soon after. The gang decided that there was only one action they could take, they'd go after the two missing friends. Just as soon as they'd set off though, a dark shadow came over the land and everything went very still and very quiet.
"I don't like this at all." said FM, looking at the sky. "I think the Dark Man is coming back for us now he has Ant out of the way."
They turned to look at FM and at once they each felt hands grab their arms. They were pulled backwards towards a waiting group of Indians who, Grix noticed, all had pure white eyes.
"My master would like to meet you now." said the chief Indian in a slow, almost artificial voice.
----------------------
Ant had been awoken from his sleep by a large bump from the cart. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but it seems that both he and pb had both succumb to the long journey and were now completely lost. The wagon stopped and they were both ushered out by several large indians who threw them on to the dusty ground and tied them to two tree branches.
They watched as a fire burnt in front of them, pb squinted and then called out to Ant. "Look, there in the fire. "
They watched as the dancing flames showed an image of the town and the rest of the gang being held by the Indians. Just then a dark shape moved in view of the image and both pb and Ant watched the look of horror on their friend's faces as the Dark Man approached them.
"We've got to get out of here and quick." said Ant, looking in his pockets. He had been practicing with the staff and had found that he could change its size. Luckily, the Indians hadn't searched his pockets when they caught him. Now if only he could reach it.
The desperados searched the town.
"They've definitely left... there's no sign of him anywhere..."
FM, Venombyte, Grix, his brain, the second Grix, Jake, and various other people with walk on parts stood in the rain.
Sniper pulled himself from the water trough... what had happened?
He walked towards the gang...
Sniper said something, Venombyte nodded.
Venombyte turned to FM, and whispered in his ear, who in turn whispered in Grix's ear...
Grix whispered in Jake's ear, "Sniper dead hat hey bent boob."
"What?"
Venombyte spoke up, "Sniper said that they when west."
"Ah."
-----------------
Before long... well, after FantasyMeister had finally decided to not order another whisky, Grix had paid his final tributes to the town, Pb FINALLY got out of the toilet, and after Sniper died three times trying to get on his hoss, they set off, tracking the wagon...
-----------------
"Closer... as close as you can..."
"They've definitely left... there's no sign of him anywhere..."
FM, Venombyte, Grix, his brain, the second Grix, Jake, and various other people with walk on parts stood in the rain.
Sniper pulled himself from the water trough... what had happened?
He walked towards the gang...
Sniper said something, Venombyte nodded.
Venombyte turned to FM, and whispered in his ear, who in turn whispered in Grix's ear...
Grix whispered in Jake's ear, "Sniper dead hat hey bent boob."
"What?"
Venombyte spoke up, "Sniper said that they when west."
"Ah."
-----------------
Before long... well, after FantasyMeister had finally decided to not order another whisky, Grix had paid his final tributes to the town, Pb FINALLY got out of the toilet, and after Sniper died three times trying to get on his hoss, they set off, tracking the wagon...
-----------------
"Closer... as close as you can..."
As Venombyte kept Grix and the others busy with what he was telling them, FM moseyed on over to the bar and ordered a whisky. As he drank it, he had one of those funny flashbacks, remembering....better days, like that time he was a kid, back on old Pop Meister's cattle ranch, the Lazy Mare Ranch.
He remembered shooting injuns who were trying to rustle the cattle (they never worked out it was a lot easier to rustle paper), he remembered the time he used to go pole fishing down by the creek, but he never managed to catch any poles. They were scarce in them days.
Then he remembered the men from the rail road came, telling Pa Meister that the farm was 'kinda in the way' and he remembered the way his father's face had dropped, then brightened up again when they gave him twice the worth in gold of what the Meister Ranch was actually worth.
His Pa had gambled it all away of course, forcing FM to become a gun slinger for a living. He could throw a gun quite far, but he always thought there was a better way of hurting your enemy with a gun, he just couldn't put his finger on it....
He took another gulp of the whisky and asked for another one, then, ignoring the thread completely, he slammed his glass down on the dusty bartop with a
*click*
He remembered shooting injuns who were trying to rustle the cattle (they never worked out it was a lot easier to rustle paper), he remembered the time he used to go pole fishing down by the creek, but he never managed to catch any poles. They were scarce in them days.
Then he remembered the men from the rail road came, telling Pa Meister that the farm was 'kinda in the way' and he remembered the way his father's face had dropped, then brightened up again when they gave him twice the worth in gold of what the Meister Ranch was actually worth.
His Pa had gambled it all away of course, forcing FM to become a gun slinger for a living. He could throw a gun quite far, but he always thought there was a better way of hurting your enemy with a gun, he just couldn't put his finger on it....
He took another gulp of the whisky and asked for another one, then, ignoring the thread completely, he slammed his glass down on the dusty bartop with a
*click*
Yup. Those springs were mighty strong in the old west.
HOWEVER.
Read the story... go on, you know you want to.
HOWEVER.
Read the story... go on, you know you want to.
Does that mean we can do the joke about Sniper getting clothes-lined as he tries to enter the saloon?
"It's ok FM... they're saloon doors, the swingy ones?"
Fm took a close look at the door...
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
"Ok..." Fm backed away, still not convinced. "Alright then..."
Fm took a close look at the door...
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
"Ok..." Fm backed away, still not convinced. "Alright then..."
Venombyte ran up to the table where everyone was to tell them the news, whilst FM asked around for a hammer and some nails so that he could fix the door that they had just burst through.
He started hammering with a
*click*
He started hammering with a
*click*
A dark man, wearing dark clothes, and a black and white checkered waistcoat walked down the stairs.
"Good evening." He said, as he walked towards the table, where Grix, his mind, and Jake sat.
Grix's brain stood. "You took your time, where were you?"
"Upstairs," The man with the black hat over his eyes ordered a drink from the bar." You told me to wait here, remember?"
"Yeah, but I might have hoped that you could have met up with us!"
"Here I am. Make use of me." The man sat down, and began to drink.
Grix asked his brain who he was.
"Him?" Grix's brain looked at the dark stranger. "Hey!"
The stranger didn't look at people when he spoke. "What?"
"Take off your hat."
"...Do you really think that is a good idea?"
"It's ok, we're immune."
The dark stranger took off his dark hat... and revealed a monobrow to the world.
"Oh... right. I see." Grix said, ignoring the monobrow.
Jake however, couldn't take his eyes off it...
"What... the... hell... is... that..."
Grix's brain stood up, and put the strangers hat back on.
"This, is Umar Theralasa. Also known as the second Grix. But more importantly for us, is the Fighter."
"Pleased to meet you Umar..." Jake said... finally out of his trance. "So you're the Fighter?"
"Yes... which would make Grix the thinker..."
"And me the watcher," Grix's brain finished. "However, there is another constant in this equation. And it is not present. We require the wielder of the Staff of the First Water."
"Ant..." Said Grix. "He's in the town, I'll go find him."
Grix got up to look for Ant, when FM and Venombyte burst through the door...
"Good evening." He said, as he walked towards the table, where Grix, his mind, and Jake sat.
Grix's brain stood. "You took your time, where were you?"
"Upstairs," The man with the black hat over his eyes ordered a drink from the bar." You told me to wait here, remember?"
"Yeah, but I might have hoped that you could have met up with us!"
"Here I am. Make use of me." The man sat down, and began to drink.
Grix asked his brain who he was.
"Him?" Grix's brain looked at the dark stranger. "Hey!"
The stranger didn't look at people when he spoke. "What?"
"Take off your hat."
"...Do you really think that is a good idea?"
"It's ok, we're immune."
The dark stranger took off his dark hat... and revealed a monobrow to the world.
"Oh... right. I see." Grix said, ignoring the monobrow.
Jake however, couldn't take his eyes off it...
"What... the... hell... is... that..."
Grix's brain stood up, and put the strangers hat back on.
"This, is Umar Theralasa. Also known as the second Grix. But more importantly for us, is the Fighter."
"Pleased to meet you Umar..." Jake said... finally out of his trance. "So you're the Fighter?"
"Yes... which would make Grix the thinker..."
"And me the watcher," Grix's brain finished. "However, there is another constant in this equation. And it is not present. We require the wielder of the Staff of the First Water."
"Ant..." Said Grix. "He's in the town, I'll go find him."
Grix got up to look for Ant, when FM and Venombyte burst through the door...
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