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"Best Fart Ever"

This should be interesting in a smelly way.

Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.

On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.

Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.

Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.

Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.

Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!

So, your best farts?

My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> He's the ass master.

heh

I tell you, I went to a turkish kebab house and had the best darn chicken and shish kebab man had ever seen.

they really had the BEST garnish and salad too, including clumps of shredded cabbage, whole pickled jalapeno chillies, carrot, and the usual lettuce and tomatos.

god it was nice. I was eating the remnants with a spoon it was that good.

anyway, long story short, the next day when I let one rip it felt like the fumes from a volcano were leaving my ass. when I later went for a number 2 I had severe stinging sensations and had to wash my ass with some wet tissue to ensure no chilli oils would remain.

hope no-one was eating while reading that :D

Bora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> hope no-one was eating while reading that :D


No, but I'm hungry now

Shreddies make good farts.

So go eat them.

That story was legendary. Made me laugh so much.

Yeah, I eat a lot o' Choco Shreddies. Combine that with beer on a night and I'm tooting all day.

Must have been 10

At friends house playing Monopoloy or Mega Drive or something. About five of us... the worst smell I have ever smelled and it was from me. They all ran out the room and one ran to the toilet. He denied he threw up but I knew otherwise.

They still talk about it to this day.

I parked one in a car after a night out drinking.
Windows were opened, someone gagged and another got out at traffic lights mumbling "Jesus christ..."

That'll be the fecal urgency, Goaty.

"it smells like someones ass crack"

I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. The best fart ever is the one my mate did as he shat himself. It was a relaxed "I'm on holiday, in my nice hotel room, there's a lovely young lady in the shower, I'm in a towell, she'll be in there for a while so the smell will be gone as the air conditioning is on full, I can relax and enjoy the passing of my gassing; the reverberations of my methane emission will be soothing and probably quite pleasant. Ahhh time to let go"

*Thrrpppp!*

F&^% me I've just shat myself and my lady is in the shower...