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This should be interesting in a smelly way.
Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.
On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.
Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.
Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.
Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.
Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!
So, your best farts?
My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!
Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.
On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.
Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.
Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.
Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.
Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!
So, your best farts?
My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!
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This should be interesting in a smelly way.
Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.
On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.
Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.
Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.
Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.
Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!
So, your best farts?
My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!
Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.
On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.
Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.
Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.
Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.
Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!
So, your best farts?
My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!
Ha! That story just made me nearly choke!
Me and a friend we're in a lift and he farted just as it reached our floor. When we exitted a young mum and her kid went in after us. When we'd done what we needed to do (I needed a p***) when went back into the lift and it *still* stank - about 10 minutes later!
Me and a friend we're in a lift and he farted just as it reached our floor. When we exitted a young mum and her kid went in after us. When we'd done what we needed to do (I needed a p***) when went back into the lift and it *still* stank - about 10 minutes later!
Farting in class is always good!
I remember someone doing an otherworldly guff in secondary school during assembly. It was so loud, the Lord's Prayer had to be abandoned halfway through because too many pupils (and teachers) were laughing. It went on for at least about 45 seconds. A winner.
The one my brother done was bad. He farted on my pillow and i made the mistake of smelling it, i almost vomitted.
I *love* farting stories.
I have too many to tell, I am the king farter.
Try lighting a fart or sticking one in a little rum bottle.
*nod*
I have too many to tell, I am the king farter.
Try lighting a fart or sticking one in a little rum bottle.
*nod*
Another friend of mine (I have two!) told me that when he and his girlfriend were in bed he used to lie on his back and lift the bottom of the duvet slightly with his feet so when he farted he'd drop his feet quickly and it would waft the smell up the bed right into their faces. Lovely.
Yay, keep them coming.
:D
:D
Timmargh wrote:
> Another friend of mine (I have two!) told me that when he and his
> girlfriend were in bed he used to lie on his back and lift the bottom
> of the duvet slightly with his feet so when he farted he'd drop his
> feet quickly and it would waft the smell up the bed right into their
> faces. Lovely.
that reminds me of a particularly funny letter from the greatest mag in the world, viz :
"My girlfriend doesn't mind it when I fart in bed, it's only when I follow through that the petty arguements start"
:D
> Another friend of mine (I have two!) told me that when he and his
> girlfriend were in bed he used to lie on his back and lift the bottom
> of the duvet slightly with his feet so when he farted he'd drop his
> feet quickly and it would waft the smell up the bed right into their
> faces. Lovely.
that reminds me of a particularly funny letter from the greatest mag in the world, viz :
"My girlfriend doesn't mind it when I fart in bed, it's only when I follow through that the petty arguements start"
:D
The same friend who did the duvet-waft trick threatened to sit on his girlfriend's face and fart while she was asleep but decided against it when she said if he did she'd sink her teeth into his scrotum.
Ow!
Ow!
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