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Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.
On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.
Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.
Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.
Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.
Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!
So, your best farts?
My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!
You'll like this!
http://www.phi11ip.com/exe/fart.exe
Scan it for viruses first, I've already done it but you can't be too sure in this age...
"...what?"
"Yo...there's...."
"What?"
"You've s##t yourself"
"No I haven't"
"Yes you have! It's right there between your legs!"
"Merely a flesh wound"
> Best fart(s) ever - choose any of the 253 I did in one day at primary
> school. I started to keep count after a while because there were so
> damn many. I'm talking chains of 50+ in a row here.
eHEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEeeeeHEHEeeheHeeeee. ..hheee...hehe...ahhhhhhhhhh
> I'd turn the lights off as she came into the room, ask her to slip
> into (the other side) of the bed, make a loud thhhrrppp noise, turn
> on the light, pull back the covers and then shout "what the hell
> have you done in my bed you dirty cow!". After she's cleaned up
> I would then ask her to leave in the most sincere and condescending
> tone, tutting and shaking my head as she went.
I've already provided a cunning escape....not need for killing.
Then lay there all naked.
> Bob Marley wrote:
> Or rush into the toilet and let the poo out of your pants/ boxer
> shorts.
> --
>
> Or read the post where he explains she's in the shower?
After she's gone in the shower.