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"Noogets and Cheeps"

On my holiday I noticed a great number of young families, the majority of them from England.

Now, why is it when people from this country go on holiday they expect every country to speak perfect English and if not they feel insulted. Yet the vast majority in this country can't speak a word of a foreign language.

So I tried to learn a bit of Spanish before I went on holiday... just the usual holidays stuff. Can I have a beer please? been one of the ones used most.

So yeah I talked Spanish as much as I could. Yet out at dinner I kept seeing the same scene.

Parent: Awright Waitur... yes we'll av noogets and chips
Waiter: Sorry
Parent: NOO GATS AND CHE EPS
Waiter: Yes
Parent: NOOTHUR NOOGETS AND CHEEPS
Parent: An two *plus two fingers* steaks el BISTRO and 2 pints o lager
Waiter: Thank you
Parent: And she was like...

And at a bar I ordered a beer

Guy: Oi mate, they talk proper English here (yes he said that)
Me: I know
Guy: Why you talk like them then?
Me: Erm well (to avoid insulting him and getting a beating) it makes a change

Then he looked at me as if I farted in his mother's face.

So yeah

NOOGATS AND CHEEPS

D'Y KNOW SPEAK ENGARALISH?

I dunno, they'd be pretty freakin' huge if they were modelled after MY member.

*strokes ego... among other things*

Well that's stupid... they'd be even smaller if it was the size of your kno-er thingy

SHEEPY wrote:
> With cockroaches as big as your dog

---------

As I read that I expected you to say "as big as your kno-" er... thingy.

With cockroaches as big as your dog

That's a good holiday plan.

Yes, indeed. That is what shall happen.

I'll end up in a Thai prison trying to buy my way out with sexual favours. Nasty.

*cut to Thai bar in few months*

Mojo thinks, what is the Thai for " wanna do the dirty? "

Mojo: Albali Sinbad Mojo oty gudter peits
Translated: I find your moustache very sexy, want to peel potatoes in a vat of custard with you.

Yep

HAHAHHAHAHA

Impress them with the size of your... wallet... instead.

It's funny when people try speaking louder to try and make them understand what they're blabbering on about.

Two beers, please.
Que?
TWO BEERS... PLEASE!

I plan on learning the very basics of the language when I go to Thailand, just so I can impress the hook- girls I meet. Indeed.

"I can't sleep"
"Yes you can, I've seen you"