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No, not the swarthy bowler hatted assassin henchman of Auric Goldfinger.
My odd job.
Like today for instance. Usually a working day consists of posting on here, having several smokes, producing the odd report and generally trying to get women to kiss each other.
Except today. A situation that has been ongoing for almost 2 months now involving a customer exporting to China from Hong Kong.
Various emails/phone calls/letters to Chambers of Commerce, import authorities, port controllers etc trying to smooth things through.
Today I get an email from the Chinese Port Authority telling me they are holding onto a shipment of 950kg because the documents do not tally.
This is clearly rubbish, as all import/export documents are checked before shipping.
Speak to our Hong Kong office and discover that there are no standards for importing to China, and that the customs officer I have been talking to is notorious for witholding shipments and demanding penalty tax of 130% value for incorrect documents.
So what do I have to do? Negotiate a bribe with a Chinese Customs officer to release the goods. He wanted $3,000. $3,000 to release goods that are sitting there under his control. Why $3,000?
Because "ah, dis amount is correct based on da weight ratio and volume capacity of da shipment"
"Well our customer cannot afford $3000, so you will have to keep it"
"We can, ah...negotiate"
Ends up accepting $800 to release the goods.
So today Goatboy has smoked 5 ciggies, drank 2 cokes, read Q and haggled with Chinese Port Authorities over the amount of bribery money they will accept to release goods.
Who says East/West relations are strained?
My odd job.
Like today for instance. Usually a working day consists of posting on here, having several smokes, producing the odd report and generally trying to get women to kiss each other.
Except today. A situation that has been ongoing for almost 2 months now involving a customer exporting to China from Hong Kong.
Various emails/phone calls/letters to Chambers of Commerce, import authorities, port controllers etc trying to smooth things through.
Today I get an email from the Chinese Port Authority telling me they are holding onto a shipment of 950kg because the documents do not tally.
This is clearly rubbish, as all import/export documents are checked before shipping.
Speak to our Hong Kong office and discover that there are no standards for importing to China, and that the customs officer I have been talking to is notorious for witholding shipments and demanding penalty tax of 130% value for incorrect documents.
So what do I have to do? Negotiate a bribe with a Chinese Customs officer to release the goods. He wanted $3,000. $3,000 to release goods that are sitting there under his control. Why $3,000?
Because "ah, dis amount is correct based on da weight ratio and volume capacity of da shipment"
"Well our customer cannot afford $3000, so you will have to keep it"
"We can, ah...negotiate"
Ends up accepting $800 to release the goods.
So today Goatboy has smoked 5 ciggies, drank 2 cokes, read Q and haggled with Chinese Port Authorities over the amount of bribery money they will accept to release goods.
Who says East/West relations are strained?
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ITs cool how they write as they talk:
hi, thank your fast payment.I will send the product to you on Monday from Hong Kong. normally around 10-14 day arrive to your country.but sometime will be delay. positive feedback will leave,please do same to me.
and I will mark the product is a gift and cheap for customs.
next time if you want buy more just contact me,I can make good price for you.
thanks
hkharbourside
hi, thank your fast payment.I will send the product to you on Monday from Hong Kong. normally around 10-14 day arrive to your country.but sometime will be delay. positive feedback will leave,please do same to me.
and I will mark the product is a gift and cheap for customs.
next time if you want buy more just contact me,I can make good price for you.
thanks
hkharbourside
The sagacious one wrote:
> I'm far too busy saving the environment to have fun, in fact by
> posting this message I've just let another
> 0.000000000000000000000000000001% of the Ozone layer become
> depleted.
>
> Ah well we can always make a new planet...
Photocopy something, Ozone is a by-product produced by photocopiers.
> I'm far too busy saving the environment to have fun, in fact by
> posting this message I've just let another
> 0.000000000000000000000000000001% of the Ozone layer become
> depleted.
>
> Ah well we can always make a new planet...
Photocopy something, Ozone is a by-product produced by photocopiers.
I'm far too busy saving the environment to have fun, in fact by posting this message I've just let another 0.000000000000000000000000000001% of the Ozone layer become depleted.
Ah well we can always make a new planet...
Ah well we can always make a new planet...
Sounds exciting Goaty.
My piece of excitement came in the form of a letter telling me that despite attending a 4 hour interview i still didnt get the job.
My piece of excitement came in the form of a letter telling me that despite attending a 4 hour interview i still didnt get the job.
Quote from customer "Depends on who you know and how big the envelope you hand them is"
Fantastic, a crash course into the world of international customs corruption and Chinese Beaurocracy.
And to think I thought today was going to be dull...
Fantastic, a crash course into the world of international customs corruption and Chinese Beaurocracy.
And to think I thought today was going to be dull...
All invoices, export tax etc has been paid.
This is a con, unless he recieved money then no goods. And no, he shouldn't do doing it but who do you tell? The Chinese Port Authority? They're the ones demanding the money, and our Hong Kong office say this is standard practice, nothing you can do.
But sorted out now.
This is a con, unless he recieved money then no goods. And no, he shouldn't do doing it but who do you tell? The Chinese Port Authority? They're the ones demanding the money, and our Hong Kong office say this is standard practice, nothing you can do.
But sorted out now.
Can't this Chinese chap be done for with-holding goods which aren't his?
Or, at the opposite end of the scale; shouldn't you be paying him as standard?
Or, at the opposite end of the scale; shouldn't you be paying him as standard?
Couldn't you have charged him $3000 and pocketed the difference? It would have been enough to go over to China and beat him over the head!
And get thrown in prison for the rest of your life, as well...
And get thrown in prison for the rest of your life, as well...
No, raw fragrance oil.
They just decided to pull that boat over and make some $$$ from it.
*shakes fist*
Have been dealing with Chamber of Commerce all morning and they basically said "Yeah, Chinese government, corrupt as anything. Pay the charge and forget about it"
Our customer is furious but what can we do? He oughta thank me, I saved him about $2,000 in bribes.
They just decided to pull that boat over and make some $$$ from it.
*shakes fist*
Have been dealing with Chamber of Commerce all morning and they basically said "Yeah, Chinese government, corrupt as anything. Pay the charge and forget about it"
Our customer is furious but what can we do? He oughta thank me, I saved him about $2,000 in bribes.
Choice? There's always a choice, my boy!
What did he have in the package? Drugs?
What did he have in the package? Drugs?
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