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As much as this is yet another somewhat depressing post, I'm still going to go for it anyway.
Recently I've been wondering about life, the universe and, well, everything. Animals and plants die, yes? It only really just hit me today that humans die too .. and eventually, I will be gone. 80 years on Earth all for nothing. And ya know what? I'm scared. I'm so very scared.
I don't know what it is about death that frightens me; not seeing people or talking ever again, not laughing at jokes, not feeling anger or frustration. Or is it that I'll look back and think my whole life was in vain, another 'thing' in society that came and went, affecting nothing, affecting ... noone.
Or is it that I will be forgotten? What happens if I don't have a family, and if my way of life disappears when I go 6 feet under. It worries me, no, it makes me shudder to think that in 90 years time when I'll be gone that everyone of my generation will have forgotten me, or indeed, be gone themselves.
And the fact that it is inevitable makes it worse. There is not one single thing that I or anyone can do stop the clock ticking, I can make it go on for longer, but that is an upward struggle.
I hear of people dying or being dead at ages like 30/40/50. I couldn't survive, literally, if I knew that. It would bring it home, and I dont think I'm a strong enough person, mentally, to handle that sort of thing.
And I know everyone says you got ages left, but really, do we?
And one last thing. Maybe I'm scared because of the unknown. Is there a Heaven and a Hell, and if so, what happens if I go to the latter? As mad as it sounds, I fear about that too.
I think music has this effect on me, everything just becomes a little bit clearer.
Thanks for reading, and if you stayed awake, then well done also.
Oh, and the music I'm listening to is calpomatt and El Mariachi. You can hear all the songs (chill out) at acidPlanet (www.acidplanet.com)
Recently I've been wondering about life, the universe and, well, everything. Animals and plants die, yes? It only really just hit me today that humans die too .. and eventually, I will be gone. 80 years on Earth all for nothing. And ya know what? I'm scared. I'm so very scared.
I don't know what it is about death that frightens me; not seeing people or talking ever again, not laughing at jokes, not feeling anger or frustration. Or is it that I'll look back and think my whole life was in vain, another 'thing' in society that came and went, affecting nothing, affecting ... noone.
Or is it that I will be forgotten? What happens if I don't have a family, and if my way of life disappears when I go 6 feet under. It worries me, no, it makes me shudder to think that in 90 years time when I'll be gone that everyone of my generation will have forgotten me, or indeed, be gone themselves.
And the fact that it is inevitable makes it worse. There is not one single thing that I or anyone can do stop the clock ticking, I can make it go on for longer, but that is an upward struggle.
I hear of people dying or being dead at ages like 30/40/50. I couldn't survive, literally, if I knew that. It would bring it home, and I dont think I'm a strong enough person, mentally, to handle that sort of thing.
And I know everyone says you got ages left, but really, do we?
And one last thing. Maybe I'm scared because of the unknown. Is there a Heaven and a Hell, and if so, what happens if I go to the latter? As mad as it sounds, I fear about that too.
I think music has this effect on me, everything just becomes a little bit clearer.
Thanks for reading, and if you stayed awake, then well done also.
Oh, and the music I'm listening to is calpomatt and El Mariachi. You can hear all the songs (chill out) at acidPlanet (www.acidplanet.com)
Page:
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As much as this is yet another somewhat depressing post, I'm still going to go for it anyway.
Recently I've been wondering about life, the universe and, well, everything. Animals and plants die, yes? It only really just hit me today that humans die too .. and eventually, I will be gone. 80 years on Earth all for nothing. And ya know what? I'm scared. I'm so very scared.
I don't know what it is about death that frightens me; not seeing people or talking ever again, not laughing at jokes, not feeling anger or frustration. Or is it that I'll look back and think my whole life was in vain, another 'thing' in society that came and went, affecting nothing, affecting ... noone.
Or is it that I will be forgotten? What happens if I don't have a family, and if my way of life disappears when I go 6 feet under. It worries me, no, it makes me shudder to think that in 90 years time when I'll be gone that everyone of my generation will have forgotten me, or indeed, be gone themselves.
And the fact that it is inevitable makes it worse. There is not one single thing that I or anyone can do stop the clock ticking, I can make it go on for longer, but that is an upward struggle.
I hear of people dying or being dead at ages like 30/40/50. I couldn't survive, literally, if I knew that. It would bring it home, and I dont think I'm a strong enough person, mentally, to handle that sort of thing.
And I know everyone says you got ages left, but really, do we?
And one last thing. Maybe I'm scared because of the unknown. Is there a Heaven and a Hell, and if so, what happens if I go to the latter? As mad as it sounds, I fear about that too.
I think music has this effect on me, everything just becomes a little bit clearer.
Thanks for reading, and if you stayed awake, then well done also.
Oh, and the music I'm listening to is calpomatt and El Mariachi. You can hear all the songs (chill out) at acidPlanet (www.acidplanet.com)
Recently I've been wondering about life, the universe and, well, everything. Animals and plants die, yes? It only really just hit me today that humans die too .. and eventually, I will be gone. 80 years on Earth all for nothing. And ya know what? I'm scared. I'm so very scared.
I don't know what it is about death that frightens me; not seeing people or talking ever again, not laughing at jokes, not feeling anger or frustration. Or is it that I'll look back and think my whole life was in vain, another 'thing' in society that came and went, affecting nothing, affecting ... noone.
Or is it that I will be forgotten? What happens if I don't have a family, and if my way of life disappears when I go 6 feet under. It worries me, no, it makes me shudder to think that in 90 years time when I'll be gone that everyone of my generation will have forgotten me, or indeed, be gone themselves.
And the fact that it is inevitable makes it worse. There is not one single thing that I or anyone can do stop the clock ticking, I can make it go on for longer, but that is an upward struggle.
I hear of people dying or being dead at ages like 30/40/50. I couldn't survive, literally, if I knew that. It would bring it home, and I dont think I'm a strong enough person, mentally, to handle that sort of thing.
And I know everyone says you got ages left, but really, do we?
And one last thing. Maybe I'm scared because of the unknown. Is there a Heaven and a Hell, and if so, what happens if I go to the latter? As mad as it sounds, I fear about that too.
I think music has this effect on me, everything just becomes a little bit clearer.
Thanks for reading, and if you stayed awake, then well done also.
Oh, and the music I'm listening to is calpomatt and El Mariachi. You can hear all the songs (chill out) at acidPlanet (www.acidplanet.com)
Page: