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"I've Been Thinking...."

As much as this is yet another somewhat depressing post, I'm still going to go for it anyway.

Recently I've been wondering about life, the universe and, well, everything. Animals and plants die, yes? It only really just hit me today that humans die too .. and eventually, I will be gone. 80 years on Earth all for nothing. And ya know what? I'm scared. I'm so very scared.

I don't know what it is about death that frightens me; not seeing people or talking ever again, not laughing at jokes, not feeling anger or frustration. Or is it that I'll look back and think my whole life was in vain, another 'thing' in society that came and went, affecting nothing, affecting ... noone.

Or is it that I will be forgotten? What happens if I don't have a family, and if my way of life disappears when I go 6 feet under. It worries me, no, it makes me shudder to think that in 90 years time when I'll be gone that everyone of my generation will have forgotten me, or indeed, be gone themselves.

And the fact that it is inevitable makes it worse. There is not one single thing that I or anyone can do stop the clock ticking, I can make it go on for longer, but that is an upward struggle.

I hear of people dying or being dead at ages like 30/40/50. I couldn't survive, literally, if I knew that. It would bring it home, and I dont think I'm a strong enough person, mentally, to handle that sort of thing.

And I know everyone says you got ages left, but really, do we?

And one last thing. Maybe I'm scared because of the unknown. Is there a Heaven and a Hell, and if so, what happens if I go to the latter? As mad as it sounds, I fear about that too.

I think music has this effect on me, everything just becomes a little bit clearer.

Thanks for reading, and if you stayed awake, then well done also.

Oh, and the music I'm listening to is calpomatt and El Mariachi. You can hear all the songs (chill out) at acidPlanet (www.acidplanet.com)

I dunno, it has it downsides.
One being I never really get very exited about anything, becasue some little git in my head goes "It doesn't matter, does it?" And hardly anything does.
Like football ... used to like it, until I realised I didn't care.

The only exception is games, which I care for quite a lot.
A lot a lot.
Never thought about it before .... but I'm pretty wierd, huh?

Oh well, like it matters : )


Do you think it's quite a childish thing to live by?
I'm only 15, so (some would say) pretty immature and not developed any understanding of anything at all.
Maybe I'll realise it is worth caring someday, and I'll get excied about stuff.
But right now, I couldn't care less.

Quite a philosophy to live by :)

Everyones different, and knowing my luck I'll probably die in a way I least expected.

Can't wait for that :|

Well, the next time you find yourself worrying about something, just think "Does it really matter?"
I mean, in the long run - if it goes either way, will it really, >really< change anything?

Just a thought.
People who worry ...... just can't get my head around it. Sorry, but it's the way I am.

I'm glad you think different, gives me a different slant to it.

I just worry about everything though. From tiny little things to things like this. Even when I was a kid I worried about what would happen when my grandparents passed on.

Odd really.

But in reply to your original post, everyone thinks about death and mortality, but your so young, you can’t be to worried about it, are you?

I lost a cousin who was a good friend of mine to leukaemia, he was only 14 when he died, such a waste he was a good person and ridiculously smart, who knows what he could have achieved.

My guess would be...dig, but I'm a gardener, god, digging...still turns me on!

Oop, not a time to make jokes ...... crap.

Sorry, but I really can't understand your problem.
I know it sounds harsh, but I can't.
I've never thought like that.

The way I see it - if you die, then you die.
You'll be dead, so it won't really matter.

If you just worry about dying, waiting for it to sneak up on you, then you'll never do anything, never get anywhere.
But if you say "Whatever, when I'm done, then I'm done" and get on with it, your life will be better.

That's my views on pretty much everything - if it happens, it happens - get over it.
I'm probably being a real insensitive b'stard. Sorry if I am, but that's my way of life.

Now I'm really gonna be harsh.
And sound a little like a psyciatrist (who can't spell).

"You don't want sympathy or someone to talk to it about. You don't want understanding or a shoulder to cry on.
What you need is to be shouted at, by at least yourself, to get up, stop complaining and get on with your life. You're not achiving anything moping around, worrying about things.
Get over it."

Heh, I'm 15, but I prefer to be judged on what i say rather than my age :)

And FFF .. insult? compliment? dig?

You tell me.

Hur hur.

Anyhoo. How old are you Phuzzy? Sure, mortality is scary, but live in the near future (i.e 2 weeks). Totaly unorganised, but not scared of much.

Perhaps.

:D

Sorry, I'm still reeling from the title.
Wait a sec.