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Look. Don't blame me, I'm bored. If people were in here chatting away, I wouldn't have to sink to this level.
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Page:
SNORE.......SNORE......Boring!
Just keep going over it. It could be a swear word, or something over 45 letters long. Or too mant capitals. Keep checking.
NO ONE POST UNTIL GRIX HAS POSTED!!
NO ONE POST UNTIL GRIX HAS POSTED!!
"...oh no!" continued pb, "another factory. This time it says the factory used to make explosives."
They landed and left Sniper lying in a pool of drool, still fantasising about raptors and nuns, and cautiously entered the large metal factory doors. Inside they found 4 levels of conveyor belts, and at the top a hatch with boxes.
At the very top stop Edgy, with his infamous glass eye and stroking a green turtle in his hand. "Hello boys and girls..."
"I'd knew I should have taken this swimming costume off." mumbled Ant, still in pain but, thanks to the medical room in the Tardis, now able to walk.
"...Inside these lovely boxes are cases of dynamite, which will explode when dropped heavily. Just to add to your excitement, I'll throw in some of my pet turtles."
"This guy is really insane." said Dan_UK to the others.
"hm, and have you noticed that shadow above him. Looks like a giant brain." added FM
The conveyer belts started up with a groan and boxes moved slowly towards the edge of the belts.
"What do we do now?" yelled pb...
They landed and left Sniper lying in a pool of drool, still fantasising about raptors and nuns, and cautiously entered the large metal factory doors. Inside they found 4 levels of conveyor belts, and at the top a hatch with boxes.
At the very top stop Edgy, with his infamous glass eye and stroking a green turtle in his hand. "Hello boys and girls..."
"I'd knew I should have taken this swimming costume off." mumbled Ant, still in pain but, thanks to the medical room in the Tardis, now able to walk.
"...Inside these lovely boxes are cases of dynamite, which will explode when dropped heavily. Just to add to your excitement, I'll throw in some of my pet turtles."
"This guy is really insane." said Dan_UK to the others.
"hm, and have you noticed that shadow above him. Looks like a giant brain." added FM
The conveyer belts started up with a groan and boxes moved slowly towards the edge of the belts.
"What do we do now?" yelled pb...
Hang on everybody.
I'm trying to post, but SR won't let me. And I have no idea why.
I'm trying to post, but SR won't let me. And I have no idea why.
"How did you find all that out just by seeing the word, "Nintedo?" FM asked Ant.
"Errrr.....dunno...it's just a guess. Anyway, pb why have you got that bottle of-"
"LA LA LA LA LA!!!!" pb said, singing at the top of his voice.
When he'd finished, Ant said, "-laxitive."
pb ignored the loud sniggers.
"Look, we have to find these other Nintendo guys." pb said, annoyed, "I'll search for "edgy"."
"We've already done that. He was last seen running half naked through a small patch of woods in the Phillipines." Ant said.
Dan_UK snorted, again.
"But that was on your comport-"
"I TOLD YOU IT WAS CALLED A COMPORT!!" Ant jumped up to get in FM's face, but remembering that his legs were broken, fell to the floor in lots of pain.
"Anyway, let me check the tardis' computer."
pb typed in "edgy".
"Okay, edgy is hidden in...
"Errrr.....dunno...it's just a guess. Anyway, pb why have you got that bottle of-"
"LA LA LA LA LA!!!!" pb said, singing at the top of his voice.
When he'd finished, Ant said, "-laxitive."
pb ignored the loud sniggers.
"Look, we have to find these other Nintendo guys." pb said, annoyed, "I'll search for "edgy"."
"We've already done that. He was last seen running half naked through a small patch of woods in the Phillipines." Ant said.
Dan_UK snorted, again.
"But that was on your comport-"
"I TOLD YOU IT WAS CALLED A COMPORT!!" Ant jumped up to get in FM's face, but remembering that his legs were broken, fell to the floor in lots of pain.
"Anyway, let me check the tardis' computer."
pb typed in "edgy".
"Okay, edgy is hidden in...
The crew of the Tardis looked down as Sniper rolled around on the floor mutterring. They had all been watching the strange scene going on inside his head from the monitor.
"Dinosaur.toples...skateboard.." he mumbled to a puzzled audience.
"Sorry about that, it's the after effects of the drug. We won't be able to get anything else out of him for a while." explained pb.
"Do you really have a bottle of..." started Ant before he saw the look on pb's face.
"Look, " said pb quickly changing the subject, "I found this on Sniper's worktop after I escaped his ropes."
Pb produced a statue from behind, it had two deer on what looked like a pile of lawsuits.
"What could this mean?" said Ant thoughtfully. "I noticed one of those on that evil Grix's desk when he appeared on our view screens to tell us his plan with Sniper had failed but he wouldn't give up"
"Thanks for the plot recap Ant, I'm not sure what it means yet, but I somehow think there is a force even bigger than Grix behind this. Remember the Overlord you thought you were working for? Reports were coming through from my sources that he wasn't really who he claimed to be and was working for some dark purpose." said pb
Ant thought for a minute and said "I think that he's in charge of all this, but we must get to the others and remove their faulty chips to find out more. I managed to retrieve what was left of Sniper's chip and I made out the word Nintedo."
"Surely oyu mean Ninendo?" Asked Dan.
"No, that's the strange thing. I think someone is trying to pass these chips off as Nintendo ones and it has something to do with these statues and the Overlord."
"Dinosaur.toples...skateboard.." he mumbled to a puzzled audience.
"Sorry about that, it's the after effects of the drug. We won't be able to get anything else out of him for a while." explained pb.
"Do you really have a bottle of..." started Ant before he saw the look on pb's face.
"Look, " said pb quickly changing the subject, "I found this on Sniper's worktop after I escaped his ropes."
Pb produced a statue from behind, it had two deer on what looked like a pile of lawsuits.
"What could this mean?" said Ant thoughtfully. "I noticed one of those on that evil Grix's desk when he appeared on our view screens to tell us his plan with Sniper had failed but he wouldn't give up"
"Thanks for the plot recap Ant, I'm not sure what it means yet, but I somehow think there is a force even bigger than Grix behind this. Remember the Overlord you thought you were working for? Reports were coming through from my sources that he wasn't really who he claimed to be and was working for some dark purpose." said pb
Ant thought for a minute and said "I think that he's in charge of all this, but we must get to the others and remove their faulty chips to find out more. I managed to retrieve what was left of Sniper's chip and I made out the word Nintedo."
"Surely oyu mean Ninendo?" Asked Dan.
"No, that's the strange thing. I think someone is trying to pass these chips off as Nintendo ones and it has something to do with these statues and the Overlord."
The tardis shook as the raptor jumped around inside.
The crew were only still alive due to the fact that the raptor was confused because the tardis was much bigger on the inside.
It looked like that was about to change, as the raptor pounced upon Ant.
As it was about to take a chunk af flesh from Ant's neck the door to the tardis flew upon.
In a flash a mysterious figure had rolled on it on her skateboard, and pulled Ant away from the raptors mouth.
But she wasn't finished their, she picked up her skateboard, and clubbed the raptor to death.
Ant regained his composure. "Thank you Topless Skateboard Nun, whoever you are!" He said.
The rest of the crew were gobsmacked, and found that they couldn't stop looking at Topless Skateboard Nuns rather smashing knockers.
She was working as a door-to-door prehistoric door knocker sales-woman, you see, or something.
The crew were only still alive due to the fact that the raptor was confused because the tardis was much bigger on the inside.
It looked like that was about to change, as the raptor pounced upon Ant.
As it was about to take a chunk af flesh from Ant's neck the door to the tardis flew upon.
In a flash a mysterious figure had rolled on it on her skateboard, and pulled Ant away from the raptors mouth.
But she wasn't finished their, she picked up her skateboard, and clubbed the raptor to death.
Ant regained his composure. "Thank you Topless Skateboard Nun, whoever you are!" He said.
The rest of the crew were gobsmacked, and found that they couldn't stop looking at Topless Skateboard Nuns rather smashing knockers.
She was working as a door-to-door prehistoric door knocker sales-woman, you see, or something.
".....it's a Ford Focus!" yelled FantasyMeister, who had completely lost the plot for no reason other than he couldn't be bothered to read the thread.
Assuming he was still in the Tardis, FM ran over to the control panel and slammed his fist down onto the buttons that were blinking innocently.
The Tardis braked hard in the space-time continuum, causing small flurries of temporal vortexes to spiral out into a 5-light year radius, and then it vanished into a point of singularity and reappeared, luckily, back on Planet Earth with a *click*.
PB glanced once again at the view screen, and saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex biting the top off a tree outside.
"Tyranosaurus Rex", said Grix, "One n or two?"
"Dunno", replied FM, "I'm not sure, let's just say T-Rex for now to be on the save side of good literacy."
"So what now?" PB was looking at the displays coming from the Tardis' readouts, which were trying to say that the Tardis wasn't going anywhere for a while, and would sit here in the year 65 million years BC for as long as it took them to get some molecular ionising fluid so that it could get going again.
"OK", said Grix, "Moleclular Ionising Fluid, where can we get some of that around here?"
"No shops open I don't expect, at least not for a few million years." Dan was not being helpful.
There was a knock on the Tardis door. Ant decided that since no-one else was moving, he'd open it. When he saw the evil grin of the Raptor staring back at him from the other side of it he wished he hadn't bothered.
The Rapter butted Ant in the head, pounced several feet up into the air, claws extended, saliva dripping from his fangs, and it landed on the central console of the Tardis' main control room with a nasty *click*.
Assuming he was still in the Tardis, FM ran over to the control panel and slammed his fist down onto the buttons that were blinking innocently.
The Tardis braked hard in the space-time continuum, causing small flurries of temporal vortexes to spiral out into a 5-light year radius, and then it vanished into a point of singularity and reappeared, luckily, back on Planet Earth with a *click*.
PB glanced once again at the view screen, and saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex biting the top off a tree outside.
"Tyranosaurus Rex", said Grix, "One n or two?"
"Dunno", replied FM, "I'm not sure, let's just say T-Rex for now to be on the save side of good literacy."
"So what now?" PB was looking at the displays coming from the Tardis' readouts, which were trying to say that the Tardis wasn't going anywhere for a while, and would sit here in the year 65 million years BC for as long as it took them to get some molecular ionising fluid so that it could get going again.
"OK", said Grix, "Moleclular Ionising Fluid, where can we get some of that around here?"
"No shops open I don't expect, at least not for a few million years." Dan was not being helpful.
There was a knock on the Tardis door. Ant decided that since no-one else was moving, he'd open it. When he saw the evil grin of the Raptor staring back at him from the other side of it he wished he hadn't bothered.
The Rapter butted Ant in the head, pounced several feet up into the air, claws extended, saliva dripping from his fangs, and it landed on the central console of the Tardis' main control room with a nasty *click*.
"Thank god" continued Dan, "that he didn't get a chance to tell anyone I have syphilli$"
FM wrinkled his brow
"you have what?"
".Um..I said......sip-o-this. Yes, I had a sip of this" stammered dan, subtly reaching into the medicine cabinet behind him and producing a brown glass bottle.
"Promethium chloride" read FM "Guaranteed b0wel relief within 6 hours, or your money back....hmmm...what is that laxit1ve doing in here anyway?"
"-It's not my tardis!" interjected PB. "I just....happened across it. So I don't know why it's there. I have no idea. Whatsoever."
"I'm dumbfounded." continued PB
"Clueless." he added
"Utterly baffled." he said, just to clarify the point.
PB was spared from descending furter into this awkward situation by a load and rather exaggerated groan from Ant.
"Let's just get on with this mission" he spat through gritted teeth, being the hard man that he clearly was.
"And also" said Ant "Will this author please stop making lame satirical jokes at our expense?"
A eerie silence followed....
"Anyway" said dan. "Lets wake up sniper and find out where the other escapees are."
"Hey!" shouted Ant. "Can I do the interrogation?? Please?"
Ant shone a flashlight into FM's eyes and told him in his best Nazi accent "Ve haff vays of makink you tevl us vat ve vant to know!! Reziztance is footile!"
Just then, an the sound of an explosion beat its path through the air. "Look!" said PB "The sugar factory has been destroyed!"
"Actually" said FM, "Whilst it was probably a factory of some description, it lacked the neccessary facilities to enable the production of sugar and so..."
"And look over there!" said PB pointing wildly "It's..."
FM wrinkled his brow
"you have what?"
".Um..I said......sip-o-this. Yes, I had a sip of this" stammered dan, subtly reaching into the medicine cabinet behind him and producing a brown glass bottle.
"Promethium chloride" read FM "Guaranteed b0wel relief within 6 hours, or your money back....hmmm...what is that laxit1ve doing in here anyway?"
"-It's not my tardis!" interjected PB. "I just....happened across it. So I don't know why it's there. I have no idea. Whatsoever."
"I'm dumbfounded." continued PB
"Clueless." he added
"Utterly baffled." he said, just to clarify the point.
PB was spared from descending furter into this awkward situation by a load and rather exaggerated groan from Ant.
"Let's just get on with this mission" he spat through gritted teeth, being the hard man that he clearly was.
"And also" said Ant "Will this author please stop making lame satirical jokes at our expense?"
A eerie silence followed....
"Anyway" said dan. "Lets wake up sniper and find out where the other escapees are."
"Hey!" shouted Ant. "Can I do the interrogation?? Please?"
Ant shone a flashlight into FM's eyes and told him in his best Nazi accent "Ve haff vays of makink you tevl us vat ve vant to know!! Reziztance is footile!"
Just then, an the sound of an explosion beat its path through the air. "Look!" said PB "The sugar factory has been destroyed!"
"Actually" said FM, "Whilst it was probably a factory of some description, it lacked the neccessary facilities to enable the production of sugar and so..."
"And look over there!" said PB pointing wildly "It's..."
"Perhaps we could go back in time to when the sugar factory actually produced sugar?" Said Ant testily.
"Actually," replied FM, "That isn't a bad idea. We could wait for Sniper to turn up again and grill him."
"Er" said pb looking at the floor, "Sniper's here, in the ape suit. We just need to give him a dose of this, and" pb raised his hand, in it was a syringe with a greenish liquid. he squeezed it into Sniper's arm, "his implant should dissolve away. That way he can tell us where the others are."
They waited for the drug to take effect.
They waited a bit longer.
They kept waiting.
"Well...." said pb apologetically, "It does take time."
The comms screen lit up and the face of Grix spread across the pixels. "You may have escaped the Sniper trap, but now I know all about you. I took the liberty of extracting information on all of you from the ship's computer before I left. hahahahahaha."
"Um, how much information? Do you know er...everything, um." asked Dan sheepishly.
"Yes, I know about your embarrasing problem down crrraazzzzzkkk" the screen faded and a small releaved sigh came from somewhere in the group.
"Actually," replied FM, "That isn't a bad idea. We could wait for Sniper to turn up again and grill him."
"Er" said pb looking at the floor, "Sniper's here, in the ape suit. We just need to give him a dose of this, and" pb raised his hand, in it was a syringe with a greenish liquid. he squeezed it into Sniper's arm, "his implant should dissolve away. That way he can tell us where the others are."
They waited for the drug to take effect.
They waited a bit longer.
They kept waiting.
"Well...." said pb apologetically, "It does take time."
The comms screen lit up and the face of Grix spread across the pixels. "You may have escaped the Sniper trap, but now I know all about you. I took the liberty of extracting information on all of you from the ship's computer before I left. hahahahahaha."
"Um, how much information? Do you know er...everything, um." asked Dan sheepishly.
"Yes, I know about your embarrasing problem down crrraazzzzzkkk" the screen faded and a small releaved sigh came from somewhere in the group.
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