The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
"What is this place?" asked Ant.
"It's a fish." said pb, looking at the plaice in Ant's hand. "But visual gags don't work in this story, so let's get moving."
They continued along as FM typed 'Cave that Taste Forgot' into the portable computer he had found in the Tardis that morning.
*******
'Cave that time forgot.' read the computer as it spoke the words out loud. A series of images flashed on the screen.
'In the earlier part of the 1970's, the beings known as humans lost all sense of taste in furnishings, partly due to the drugs that had been taking affect in their systems since the 60's and partly because they had nothing better to do. This led to many of their dwellings being covered in browns and pinks (mostly in the same vacinity) and turtle design tables that a turtle wouldn't be seen dead with sitting uncomfortably next to a lamp that wouldn't look out of place on an airport runway.
After the humans had learnt the error of their designer ways some of the furniture was kept in a cave to remind people not to do it again. Unfortunatly there are still odd cases where this phenomenon still exists as the contestants on Changing Rooms have found out to their cost.
Transmission ends.
************
"Interesting" said FM to himself and followed the rest of the group past a multicoloured ceramic rainbow (multicoloured being mainly different shades of brown on a yellow background)
-Mental note, make sure everybody reads the whole topic before posting, because it should put them off.
(Gotcha.)
pb found himself walking down a corridor... and his head started floating away...
Hitler was marching in the background... and fog surrounded pb as he walked nearer and nearer to a light at the end of the corridor...
Ant and Fantasymeister were sitting on a sofa. Long red material sheets with an "X" kinda shape on them flowed in the background. Himmler was marching around in womens underwear, and Goerbols was dancing in a frock...
Fantasymeister spoke.
"Welcome, to the third, reich."
pb screamed, and ran down a neverending corridor.
"TOO MANY CLICHÈS!!! ARGHHHH!!!!"
pb kept running. As he marched through the fog in a black and white world, he noticed a large red button on the wall.
The word RESET was written underneath.
"NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!!!" He screamed again, and pushed the button.
Everything was nothing, and was sucked into a black hole...
Complete and utter whiteness.
The few stood there, and noticed everthing seemed calm again. The plot had made sense up to this point. No people running in with swords or shooting people for no reason. There was still a chance the story could continue without being ruined.
"Where were we?" Asked pb.
"Don't you mean where are we?" Asked FM.
"Err... never mind."
Everyone found themselves stood outside a cave... they had just remembered cycling up it. Dan_UK was still in his coma.
"Lets enter the Cave that Taste Forgot then, and get this over with."
Suddenly, Fantasymeister found the need to overact. "The CAVE THAT TASTE FORGOT?"
"YES!" Ant replied in a simular fashion. "THE CAVE THAT TASTE FORGOT?"
"DO YOU THINK THE CAVE LIVES UP TO IT'S NAME?"
"YES I DO. WHY WOULD THE AUTHOR CALL IT THAT OTHERWISE?"
"VERY GOOD POINT."
"Ok guys," pb said. "I think they got the message."
"They better bloody had done."
"How did you do that?" FM asked.
"I don't know" said Ant. "I just sort of....did."
With this, snake turned the gun on Ant, and let loose several bullets. What everyone else saw was a blur. Ant appeared to bend at the waist, leaning this way and that and seeming to avoid the bullets.
"Hey, you were fast!" FM said
"Not fast enough" Ant replied, pointing to a graze on his shoulder.
"Are they dead?" came that terrifying voice, *SN@KE* was back and completely engulfed in anger.
er-no stood ther speechless, it seemed he was more scared than anyone present in the room.
"Er-no I SAID ARE THEY DEAD?????" he was getting angrier and it seemed that he would blow at any minute.
"N..N..N..NO" replied er-no in a terrified voice.
"Good, good, i want the pleasure in killing them myself," for the first time *SN@KE* seemed happy.
"*SN@KE*, you can't," said er-no with slightly more confidence in his voice "the boss wants them for genetic experiments now, so he needs them alive"
"They know to much, and unless you want to suffer the same fate as them, step aside!!!!!!" *SN@KE* said with his anger rebuilding "NNNNOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!"
er-no stepped aside, once again trembling with fear.
FM tapped Ant on the back, and pointed to pb, "Soooo childish."
"Yep." was Ant's reply.
Ant and FM satred hungrily at the rest of the fish.
______________________
2 Minutes later.......
Ant, FM and pb were now fighting over the last piece.
"It's mine you sumbitch!!"
"NO, GIVE IT TO ME YOU *******!!"
er-no looked down, "Shut up down there!!"
er-no sent each of them to sit in one corner.
Meanwhile, Grix was still driving along.
Nothing interesting was happening to him.
"Now the 2 Dan's have probably killed each other"
Some super villains can be remarkably dim!
"No one can stop this fight"
Darth Sheepy checked the facts.
"So," he inquired, "Nintendo and Sega character have a huge battle, making the entire N-chip and S-chip networks go haywire allowing you to control the people connected to the S-chip and N-chip, right?"
"Precisely Sheepy!"
"So where do I come in."
"Well, should those Dan's actually turn out to be alive after all then you get to eliminate them."
"Great!"
"Why's that?"
"They're over there under the ring!"
Dan_uk and Dan_2K1 exchanged looks.
It seemed that they'd have to work together!