Viewing Thread:
"Job Vacancies at Highbury."

Following yet another unsurprising flop in the Champions Leauge Arsenal have decided that for the 2003-2004 season they will not be spending millions of £££'s on anymore signings, instead they are to advertise for new players through a variety of national tabloid newspapers and job centres up and down the country.

Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.

A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...


Applicants must be...

...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)


The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...

'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.

rabid wrote:
> Or if you look at it from this perspective...
>
> 70% of Man Utd fans would NOT like any of Arsenals 'infesting frogs'
> to play for them.

Nooo... you misunderstand the vote...

The question was which current France international would Man U fans most like to see play for United.

First place was Zidane with around 39%, second was Henry with around 30%. The rest was shared between other members of the France squad.

WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

> And considering that a recent vote indicates that just over 30% of
> your fans would want one of our 'infesting Frogs' to play for you


Or if you look at it from this perspective...

70% of Man Utd fans would NOT like any of Arsenals 'infesting frogs' to play for them.

*Gives standing ovation to Wookie*

You've basically explained my post 10 times better! :D

Solskjær wrote:
> And I doubt that even Arsénal will be able to obtain a record
> that's been anything like our's under Sir Alex Ferguson, for quite
> some time!

Well, considering how much longer Fergie's been in charge, that's stating the fecking obvious isn't it!

However, Wenger has already won more in his first years than Fergie did in his first years, so it's certainly likely. I seem to recall Fergie nearly being SACKED because he wasn't winning anything.

Conveniently short memories, it seems!

What about all the years before the Premiership, when United won nothing? When Liverpool were the dominant force? When United were an also-ran team?


> Just look at how many "Frogs" they have infested within
> their first-team squad!

Surely with such a xenophobic attitude, you should be a Chelsea or Millwall supporter?

Not that it matters in the slightest, but for the record, just a reminder that Arsenal's squad now consists of 7 Englishmen: Seaman, Taylor, Cole, Keown, Campbell, Parlour and Jeffers.

In fact, our first team squad is - I think - only two or three behind United's in terms of English players. Thinking about it, our regular first choice teams probably each field the same number of Englishmen - Seaman, Cole, Keown and Campbell vs. Ferdinand, a Neville, Beckham and Scholes - with one or two (Parlour/Jeffers and Butt/the other Neville) on the bench.

For the record: Irish, Welsh and Scottish players are - in footballing terms at least - just as foreign as the French, Dutch, Argentinian or any other nation you care to mention.

And considering that a recent vote indicates that just over 30% of your fans would want one of our 'infesting Frogs' to play for you (Henry - second only to Zidane) - not to mention the 'Johhny Foreigners' in your team - maybe you ought to try getting over your hatred of foreigners?

Joking or not, your constant digs at the French are tiresome and also misdirected, considering you also have French players at United. Nowhere near as many, you say? I'm sure that makes it okay, then - just like it's okay for the Chelsea fans to hurl racist insults at Henry & co. despite having black players at Chelsea. How do you think Barthez, Blanc and Silvestre would feel about your opinions of the 'infesting frogs'?

And sometimes we wonder why the English are seen as a nation of racist bigots!

I'm not about to deny that Arsenal have got French players, but it isn't as much as you think. It seems as though we've got loads of them because it just so happens that the french players we do have are so damn good (Excluding Cygan) and get a lot of high praise. Fulham actually have more French players than us, and Chelsea have more foreign players (OF a variety) over all.

Anyway, it's not exactly a bad thing, having world class Frenchmen in your team that help you win, win, win...and win again.

Arsenal French players:
Henry
Vieira
Wiltord
pires
Cygan
Aliadiere (Youth player, almost into the first team)

English players:
Campbell
Keown
A Cole
Seaman
Taylor
Parlour
Jeffers
Pennant (Same as Aliadiere)

And many more Englishmen coming up through the ranks!

(Believe it or not, but the papers are saying that Wenger is going to do an Alex Ferguson and strengthen the Arsenal squad for the long term by bringing through abour 5 youngsters!)

rabid wrote:
> Thankyou Foreman :)
>
> It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take
> it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the
> last laugh is on us not them.

We'll see who'll win the premiership when Man United play Arsenal... 4-3 United would be a good conclusion. If you hadn't already guseed, I hate Arsenal, and all teams with too many foreigners (Fulham, Bolton Wanderers, Arsenal, Chelsea...) AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGH! [throws monitor at neighbour's dog)

Thankyou Foreman :)

It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the last laugh is on us not them.

Good post Rabid

Shocktrooper wrote:
No longer are Man Utd the dominant force, as it has so boringly been for the past 5 years or so..."


Try closer to 10! :P
And I doubt that even Arsénal will be able to obtain a record that's been anything like our's under Sir Alex Ferguson, for quite some time!
In other words... "NEVER"!

"*Man Utd fans sulk and and resort to using the old favourite: "But your players are French!" routine*"


But it's true!!
Just look at how many "Frogs" they have infested within their first-team squad! And they're even starting to breed within the youth ranks, now!

That, however, was not supposed to happen.

Ah well, now you can take the mick out of that.