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Following yet another unsurprising flop in the Champions Leauge Arsenal have decided that for the 2003-2004 season they will not be spending millions of £££'s on anymore signings, instead they are to advertise for new players through a variety of national tabloid newspapers and job centres up and down the country.
Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.
A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...
Applicants must be...
...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)
The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...
'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.
Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.
A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...
Applicants must be...
...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)
The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...
'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.
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Following yet another unsurprising flop in the Champions Leauge Arsenal have decided that for the 2003-2004 season they will not be spending millions of £££'s on anymore signings, instead they are to advertise for new players through a variety of national tabloid newspapers and job centres up and down the country.
Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.
A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...
Applicants must be...
...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)
The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...
'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.
Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.
A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...
Applicants must be...
...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)
The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...
'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.
Heh....!
He wouldn't be laughing if someone posted about his precious Man Utd.
You know, I think these Man Utd fans can't bear to even contemplate Arsenal ever being truly better than them.
No longer are Man Utd the dominant force, as it has so boringly been for the past 5 years or so. Now Arsenal come along and show them how to play football - even with a weak team!
*Man Utd fans sulk and and resort to using the old favourite: "But your players are French!" routine*
You know, I think these Man Utd fans can't bear to even contemplate Arsenal ever being truly better than them.
No longer are Man Utd the dominant force, as it has so boringly been for the past 5 years or so. Now Arsenal come along and show them how to play football - even with a weak team!
*Man Utd fans sulk and and resort to using the old favourite: "But your players are French!" routine*
Heh, you won't be laughing if someone posted something like this about your precious Man Utd.
It's a shame really, that Man Utd fans like yourself resort to something like this because you know, deep down, that Man Utd aren't the dominant force that they so boringly were for 5 years or so. Now Arsenal are, and showing you how to play football brilliantly - with a weak team too!
*Man Utd fans sulk, scream, cry and resort to: "But your players are French!" routine*
Tut tut.
It's a shame really, that Man Utd fans like yourself resort to something like this because you know, deep down, that Man Utd aren't the dominant force that they so boringly were for 5 years or so. Now Arsenal are, and showing you how to play football brilliantly - with a weak team too!
*Man Utd fans sulk, scream, cry and resort to: "But your players are French!" routine*
Tut tut.
That, however, was not supposed to happen.
Ah well, now you can take the mick out of that.
Ah well, now you can take the mick out of that.
Shocktrooper wrote:
No longer are Man Utd the dominant force, as it has so boringly been for the past 5 years or so..."
Try closer to 10! :P
And I doubt that even Arsénal will be able to obtain a record that's been anything like our's under Sir Alex Ferguson, for quite some time!
In other words... "NEVER"!
"*Man Utd fans sulk and and resort to using the old favourite: "But your players are French!" routine*"
But it's true!!
Just look at how many "Frogs" they have infested within their first-team squad! And they're even starting to breed within the youth ranks, now!
No longer are Man Utd the dominant force, as it has so boringly been for the past 5 years or so..."
Try closer to 10! :P
And I doubt that even Arsénal will be able to obtain a record that's been anything like our's under Sir Alex Ferguson, for quite some time!
In other words... "NEVER"!
"*Man Utd fans sulk and and resort to using the old favourite: "But your players are French!" routine*"
But it's true!!
Just look at how many "Frogs" they have infested within their first-team squad! And they're even starting to breed within the youth ranks, now!
Good post Rabid
Thankyou Foreman :)
It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the last laugh is on us not them.
It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the last laugh is on us not them.
rabid wrote:
> Thankyou Foreman :)
>
> It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take
> it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the
> last laugh is on us not them.
We'll see who'll win the premiership when Man United play Arsenal... 4-3 United would be a good conclusion. If you hadn't already guseed, I hate Arsenal, and all teams with too many foreigners (Fulham, Bolton Wanderers, Arsenal, Chelsea...) AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGH! [throws monitor at neighbour's dog)
> Thankyou Foreman :)
>
> It was ofcourse intended as pure humour... Arsenal fans shouldnt take
> it too hard considering they are gonna win the double-double... the
> last laugh is on us not them.
We'll see who'll win the premiership when Man United play Arsenal... 4-3 United would be a good conclusion. If you hadn't already guseed, I hate Arsenal, and all teams with too many foreigners (Fulham, Bolton Wanderers, Arsenal, Chelsea...) AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGH! [throws monitor at neighbour's dog)
I'm not about to deny that Arsenal have got French players, but it isn't as much as you think. It seems as though we've got loads of them because it just so happens that the french players we do have are so damn good (Excluding Cygan) and get a lot of high praise. Fulham actually have more French players than us, and Chelsea have more foreign players (OF a variety) over all.
Anyway, it's not exactly a bad thing, having world class Frenchmen in your team that help you win, win, win...and win again.
Arsenal French players:
Henry
Vieira
Wiltord
pires
Cygan
Aliadiere (Youth player, almost into the first team)
English players:
Campbell
Keown
A Cole
Seaman
Taylor
Parlour
Jeffers
Pennant (Same as Aliadiere)
And many more Englishmen coming up through the ranks!
(Believe it or not, but the papers are saying that Wenger is going to do an Alex Ferguson and strengthen the Arsenal squad for the long term by bringing through abour 5 youngsters!)
Anyway, it's not exactly a bad thing, having world class Frenchmen in your team that help you win, win, win...and win again.
Arsenal French players:
Henry
Vieira
Wiltord
pires
Cygan
Aliadiere (Youth player, almost into the first team)
English players:
Campbell
Keown
A Cole
Seaman
Taylor
Parlour
Jeffers
Pennant (Same as Aliadiere)
And many more Englishmen coming up through the ranks!
(Believe it or not, but the papers are saying that Wenger is going to do an Alex Ferguson and strengthen the Arsenal squad for the long term by bringing through abour 5 youngsters!)
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