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"Job Vacancies at Highbury."

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Thu 27/03/03 at 01:17
Regular
Posts: 787
Following yet another unsurprising flop in the Champions Leauge Arsenal have decided that for the 2003-2004 season they will not be spending millions of £££'s on anymore signings, instead they are to advertise for new players through a variety of national tabloid newspapers and job centres up and down the country.

Early reports say that a local North London job centre has recieved confirmation of Arsenals intent to draft in new players on the 'new deal' format whereas succesful applicants will be offered the minimum wage of £4.20 an hour.

A leaked document had the following application criteria requirements upon it...


Applicants must be...

...male,
...aged between 16-30 yrs of age,
...arrogant at all times,
...available for work on weekends,
...have a slightly unsteady foothold and be prone to fall over for no apparent reason,
...be prepared to fly abroard in the months leading upto mid March,
...be able to repeat the following words 'from where i was standing it looked like a clean tackle'
...be preferably of French origin.
...be prepared to run for upto 100 minutes at a time pending the present result of any match taking place (on most occasions you will only be required to run for 90 minutes)
...have an annoying habit of not looking remotely surprised when winning the goal of the month award (see section on being arrogant at all times)


The government official for employment welcomed Arsenals attempt to remove as many unemployed people of the streets of North london by issuing this statement...

'We are extremeley happy with Arsenal FC and their attempts to remove the unemployed from our streets... by moving to a new Stadia we are sure that upto 15,000 more unemployed people will have somewhere to sit on a breezy saturday afternoon in january, and the fact that a cup of warm soup is also being provided for a generous £2.50'.
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:29
Regular
"asdfjkl;"
Posts: 205
<------------- gives wookie a pat on the back for sticking up for what he supports and believes in.

I would stand-up for the team I support, the mighty Arsenal, but Wookie has done it all already, nice one. Saves me a fair bit of typing:)

*stands up and shouts, then sits back down because legs ache*
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:29
"High polygon count"
Posts: 15,624
Absolu† Neó wrote:
> He didn't play against Liechenstein.

True - I didn't notice the date, and assumed it was posted tonight! :-)
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:26
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Even as a Utd fan, I'd have to say well said Wookiee.

Arsenal have a good squad, and a good manager.

They're doing the right thing in supporting young players (Cole and Pennant spring immediately to mind)

Better than the Chelsea or Fulham road of trying to buy in a quality team.

Also, it'll be a decent scrap for the Premiership this season, after last, when man Utd were so poor at home. Best defensive record? Doesn't make sense to me!
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:08
Regular
"Ar-gen-tina!"
Posts: 8,818
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> Err... Sol Campbell?

He didn't play against Liechenstein.
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:02
"High polygon count"
Posts: 15,624
rabid wrote:
> Im with you now...

No probs - reading back over what I wrote, I didn't explain it very well at all. Apologies.
Wed 02/04/03 at 23:01
"High polygon count"
Posts: 15,624
Or†ega wrote:
> WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> >some stuff about arsenals england players Vs Man Uniteds england
> players
>
> 4-0 in that respect today! :P

Err... Sol Campbell?

Even so, I'd rather ours be fresher for Arsenal! :-)
Sat 29/03/03 at 17:37
Regular
Posts: 15,579
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
>some stuff about arsenals england players Vs Man Uniteds england players

4-0 in that respect today! :P
Sat 29/03/03 at 14:42
Regular
"Colourless"
Posts: 4,345
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

> Joking or not, your constant digs at the French are tiresome and also
> misdirected, considering you also have French players at United.
> Nowhere near as many, you say? I'm sure that makes it okay, then -
> just like it's okay for the Chelsea fans to hurl racist insults at
> Henry & co. despite having black players at Chelsea. How do you
> think Barthez, Blanc and Silvestre would feel about your opinions of
> the 'infesting frogs'?
>
> And sometimes we wonder why the English are seen as a nation of racist
> bigots!

I admit that racism is a huge problem in the game, and one the FA are trying to deal with.
But Henry was asking for it in the cup replay when he deliberatley went and celebrated with the chelsea fans after laurens goal. In no way does that justify it but if players used more common sense then they could avoid these sort of incidents.
Sat 29/03/03 at 04:34
Regular
"An Evil Resident"
Posts: 933
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

> Nooo... you misunderstand the vote...
>
> The question was which current France international would Man U fans
> most like to see play for United.
>
> First place was Zidane with around 39%, second was Henry with around
> 30%. The rest was shared between other members of the France squad.


Im with you now... just out of curiosity do you have any idea if Dugarry got any votes? :p
Sat 29/03/03 at 02:18
Regular
"5 European Cups!!!"
Posts: 5,795
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

What about all the years before the Premiership, when United won nothing? When Liverpool were the dominant force? When United were an also-ran team?
------------

YES! You tell 'em son! :P

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