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So I have a subscription to Hotdog Magazine, a cool little movie mag that focuses on the films worth watching and not just the Hollywood blockbusters and pap that spews from Jerry Bruckheimer's brain-cave. Anyways, this month is a Matrix special edition, and they've only gone and printed a whole page of Matrix: Reloaded spoilers - damn you to Hades, you spongy hacks! How can I possibly refrain from 'accidentally' flicking to that page to get the lowdown on what will undoubtedly be the finest film to ever be fed into my eyes? Grrr.
So, should I read them? Tell me what to do, I can't take it any more... the magazine's sitting on my floor and Keanu Reeves is looking at me funny.
"Read me, dude."
Aaaaaaarggghhh!
So, should I read them? Tell me what to do, I can't take it any more... the magazine's sitting on my floor and Keanu Reeves is looking at me funny.
"Read me, dude."
Aaaaaaarggghhh!
Page:
Do it.
I expect, by hometime today, to see a short synopsis for your Lego Matrix/Predator/Aliens scriptment.
With extracts
I expect, by hometime today, to see a short synopsis for your Lego Matrix/Predator/Aliens scriptment.
With extracts
An excerpt would be better to exert pressure on them to take my work seriously.
Goatboy wrote:
> I would pay you to make this.
> In lego.
Maybe I should write to the lottery commission and ask for a grant to make a film, out of lego. It would appeal to their artistic sensibilities and maybe Adam and Joe would be able to lend a hand.
Here is an exert from my script:
*Two Colonial Marines enter the forboding toilet roll-eque tunnel, one supporting the other with the aid of his shoulder and some glue*
Hubson: Sh*t man we're not screwed, game on man, let's get 'em Ticks, I don't care that I'm out of this Turker sh*t outfit in three weeks time. I'm deleriously happy to be short, in such a deletrious predicament.
Ticks: I'm so scared! Man look at me, I'm falling apart, I can't go on.
Hubson: Pull yourself together soldier.
*Audible click, then a clack, followed by another click*
Hubson: Dammit Marine, wasn't your arm supposed to be a blue one?
> I would pay you to make this.
> In lego.
Maybe I should write to the lottery commission and ask for a grant to make a film, out of lego. It would appeal to their artistic sensibilities and maybe Adam and Joe would be able to lend a hand.
Here is an exert from my script:
*Two Colonial Marines enter the forboding toilet roll-eque tunnel, one supporting the other with the aid of his shoulder and some glue*
Hubson: Sh*t man we're not screwed, game on man, let's get 'em Ticks, I don't care that I'm out of this Turker sh*t outfit in three weeks time. I'm deleriously happy to be short, in such a deletrious predicament.
Ticks: I'm so scared! Man look at me, I'm falling apart, I can't go on.
Hubson: Pull yourself together soldier.
*Audible click, then a clack, followed by another click*
Hubson: Dammit Marine, wasn't your arm supposed to be a blue one?
The sagacious one wrote:
In fact chuck in 30 Aliens and a couple
> of Predators, Robocop, a Terminator and the Daleks,
----
I would pay you to make this.
In lego.
And get Ahnolt to muscle about smeared in dung saying "Iss nod a toomar"
In fact chuck in 30 Aliens and a couple
> of Predators, Robocop, a Terminator and the Daleks,
----
I would pay you to make this.
In lego.
And get Ahnolt to muscle about smeared in dung saying "Iss nod a toomar"
Your Honour wrote:
> "sex-wee"
>
> *sigh*
>
> The Genius of Goatboy knows no bounds...
---
Ta chuckles!
> "sex-wee"
>
> *sigh*
>
> The Genius of Goatboy knows no bounds...
---
Ta chuckles!
Surely Jessie Ventura will turn up with a minigun and spend 20 glorious minutes shooting out windows and several Neon lights, in super slo-mo bullet time II. In fact chuck in 30 Aliens and a couple of Predators, Robocop, a Terminator and the Daleks, then sit back and watch the bestest film that only my mind will ever see.
***He he, a Dalek has got stuck in lift and is melting due to logic overload. "THERE IS NO SPOON! THERE IS NO SPOON!"***
***He he, a Dalek has got stuck in lift and is melting due to logic overload. "THERE IS NO SPOON! THERE IS NO SPOON!"***
"sex-wee"
*sigh*
The Genius of Goatboy knows no bounds...
*sigh*
The Genius of Goatboy knows no bounds...
You are wrong.
He goes to kick 204 Agent Smiths, but then Hollywood Hulk Hogan appears doing that thing where it looks like he cant quite make fists with his arthritic claws and says "Agent Neo, brother, you going down. Brother".
And then Morpheus turns up with a sword, says "Yes Neo" before a 7 minute zero-g monkey punch frenzy ensues.
This is the greatest film never seen and I've made sex-wee just thinking about it
He goes to kick 204 Agent Smiths, but then Hollywood Hulk Hogan appears doing that thing where it looks like he cant quite make fists with his arthritic claws and says "Agent Neo, brother, you going down. Brother".
And then Morpheus turns up with a sword, says "Yes Neo" before a 7 minute zero-g monkey punch frenzy ensues.
This is the greatest film never seen and I've made sex-wee just thinking about it
In one scene someone kicks someone in the head. Twice! Though I may be wrong.
MATRIX RELOADED SPOILERS:
Neo disbelieves he truly is The One, despite the obvious name anagram.
Morpheus stands about saying "Yes Neo" a lot and being enigmatic.
Trinity gives in to her blatant lesbian tendencies (cue 24 minute bullet-time clam-lap)
Agent Smith makes civil servants feel cool and they all wear shades
Jada Pinkett Smith destroys her scenes with stupid hair
Brian Blessed eats The Matrix and runs off shouting loudly
Cypher returns because he has to be in all Wachowski Bros movies
It ends on a cliff-hanger with Neo being tickled by The Virii Twins, Morpheus in mid "Yes Neo", Trinity brushing her teeth and smiling and Agent Smith filling in his self-assesment tax form.
In bullet-time
The End.
Neo disbelieves he truly is The One, despite the obvious name anagram.
Morpheus stands about saying "Yes Neo" a lot and being enigmatic.
Trinity gives in to her blatant lesbian tendencies (cue 24 minute bullet-time clam-lap)
Agent Smith makes civil servants feel cool and they all wear shades
Jada Pinkett Smith destroys her scenes with stupid hair
Brian Blessed eats The Matrix and runs off shouting loudly
Cypher returns because he has to be in all Wachowski Bros movies
It ends on a cliff-hanger with Neo being tickled by The Virii Twins, Morpheus in mid "Yes Neo", Trinity brushing her teeth and smiling and Agent Smith filling in his self-assesment tax form.
In bullet-time
The End.
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