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Xfm were doing a phone-in this morning about animal attacks and I rang offering my story of my fight with a swan or seeing an alligator attack in Florida.
They ran out of time whilst I was on hold trying to not laugh at a South African who swore and got cut-off.
The Producer tells me sorry but they've running over and they'll ring me later on.
20 mins ago, he rang and apologised about not using my story and would I be prepared to go on tomorrow morning instead, between 7:30am and 8:45am.
So if anyone has digital tv or recieves Xfm on 104.9fm, tune in and hear Goatboy relate his story of a stupid American being dragged into the everglades by an irate prehistoric predator.
They ran out of time whilst I was on hold trying to not laugh at a South African who swore and got cut-off.
The Producer tells me sorry but they've running over and they'll ring me later on.
20 mins ago, he rang and apologised about not using my story and would I be prepared to go on tomorrow morning instead, between 7:30am and 8:45am.
So if anyone has digital tv or recieves Xfm on 104.9fm, tune in and hear Goatboy relate his story of a stupid American being dragged into the everglades by an irate prehistoric predator.
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Well, I'm still waiting for the punchline. But by all means read it out on air.
That's one of the funniest stories I've heard
I showed my mate and he laughed... then the whole study class had a good laugh
So erm I take it they both became crocodile food?
I showed my mate and he laughed... then the whole study class had a good laugh
So erm I take it they both became crocodile food?
I liked the story about the bloke who got chased home by a skunk!
What was the phrase that he used and Christian said that nobody is allowed to use again...
Something to do with a fart...
'Horse and Cart?'
What was the phrase that he used and Christian said that nobody is allowed to use again...
Something to do with a fart...
'Horse and Cart?'
Just as the story finishes, or at the beggining, scream 'GOATBOY' to grab our attention..
And for those people too stupid to operate a radio or unfortunate to live outside of civilisation boundaries, here's the story:
On holiday with girlfriend about 2 years ago and we go on one of those airboat rides into the Glades. I wanted to see Alligators, having long been a fan of Steve "Ganna shove me finger up 'is ahrse!" Irwin.
And despite being there for over an hour, I saw nothing but mosquitos and a German get panicked and leap out of the boat.
So we're going along the freeway and see a sign that advertises "Gator Farm with display".
We stop and walk in.
Imagine the rattiest, nastiest shack you can. And inside is a fat redneck and his son.
They take me round their gator farm, complete with 4 beasts that just lay in the sun and did nothing at all.
The son (about 20) offered to show me them in a bad mood, and started whacking one with a massive stick. Much to the predicted effect, the Gator got moody.
After 30 mins of watching this kid throw chickens into the compound and watching these gators do nothing at all, the tour ended with a display.
The display consisted of the son putting his head in the gator's mouth.
Except this gator suddenly sprang to life, snapped it's jaws shut and promptly buggered off into the swamp at the back.
The dad came running down, grabbed the massive poling stick and went running off into the swamp screaming and hollering.
So I wait.
After 5 mins of watching the other 3 do nothing, I had a fag.
10 mins later, still no sign of angry dad or headless son.
So we left.
And when we got back to the car, we discover they're shooting a porno film in the car park.
A balloon-breasted woman being bully-rammed over the bonnet of a Ferrari by some pumped up stud.
And 5 bored crew standing about smoking, holding the camera and lights and talking about last night's football game.
Goatboy gets back into his car, bewildered and bemused by having seen a Gator run off with it's redneck tormentor and then walking into a porno-flick.
And that is why I'm the way I am.
Because this sort of stuff happens all the time to me.
On holiday with girlfriend about 2 years ago and we go on one of those airboat rides into the Glades. I wanted to see Alligators, having long been a fan of Steve "Ganna shove me finger up 'is ahrse!" Irwin.
And despite being there for over an hour, I saw nothing but mosquitos and a German get panicked and leap out of the boat.
So we're going along the freeway and see a sign that advertises "Gator Farm with display".
We stop and walk in.
Imagine the rattiest, nastiest shack you can. And inside is a fat redneck and his son.
They take me round their gator farm, complete with 4 beasts that just lay in the sun and did nothing at all.
The son (about 20) offered to show me them in a bad mood, and started whacking one with a massive stick. Much to the predicted effect, the Gator got moody.
After 30 mins of watching this kid throw chickens into the compound and watching these gators do nothing at all, the tour ended with a display.
The display consisted of the son putting his head in the gator's mouth.
Except this gator suddenly sprang to life, snapped it's jaws shut and promptly buggered off into the swamp at the back.
The dad came running down, grabbed the massive poling stick and went running off into the swamp screaming and hollering.
So I wait.
After 5 mins of watching the other 3 do nothing, I had a fag.
10 mins later, still no sign of angry dad or headless son.
So we left.
And when we got back to the car, we discover they're shooting a porno film in the car park.
A balloon-breasted woman being bully-rammed over the bonnet of a Ferrari by some pumped up stud.
And 5 bored crew standing about smoking, holding the camera and lights and talking about last night's football game.
Goatboy gets back into his car, bewildered and bemused by having seen a Gator run off with it's redneck tormentor and then walking into a porno-flick.
And that is why I'm the way I am.
Because this sort of stuff happens all the time to me.
If I'm awake I'll tune in.
...and amazingly the alligator could play bass, which was just what Parker were in need of at the time. Of course...
Make sure you take a few seconds to plug your band...
Xfm were doing a phone-in this morning about animal attacks and I rang offering my story of my fight with a swan or seeing an alligator attack in Florida.
They ran out of time whilst I was on hold trying to not laugh at a South African who swore and got cut-off.
The Producer tells me sorry but they've running over and they'll ring me later on.
20 mins ago, he rang and apologised about not using my story and would I be prepared to go on tomorrow morning instead, between 7:30am and 8:45am.
So if anyone has digital tv or recieves Xfm on 104.9fm, tune in and hear Goatboy relate his story of a stupid American being dragged into the everglades by an irate prehistoric predator.
They ran out of time whilst I was on hold trying to not laugh at a South African who swore and got cut-off.
The Producer tells me sorry but they've running over and they'll ring me later on.
20 mins ago, he rang and apologised about not using my story and would I be prepared to go on tomorrow morning instead, between 7:30am and 8:45am.
So if anyone has digital tv or recieves Xfm on 104.9fm, tune in and hear Goatboy relate his story of a stupid American being dragged into the everglades by an irate prehistoric predator.
Page: