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"Goatboy gets airtime"

Xfm were doing a phone-in this morning about animal attacks and I rang offering my story of my fight with a swan or seeing an alligator attack in Florida.
They ran out of time whilst I was on hold trying to not laugh at a South African who swore and got cut-off.
The Producer tells me sorry but they've running over and they'll ring me later on.
20 mins ago, he rang and apologised about not using my story and would I be prepared to go on tomorrow morning instead, between 7:30am and 8:45am.

So if anyone has digital tv or recieves Xfm on 104.9fm, tune in and hear Goatboy relate his story of a stupid American being dragged into the everglades by an irate prehistoric predator.

True story (not funny, but involves aligators):

I knew a girl who actually survived the Bali bombing. Luckily, she had left the club about 15 minutes before the bomb exploded.

She lives in New Zealand and when she got home (about a week later), she was so relieved to be alive, she went for a swim.
And got eaten by an aligator.

Goatboy webby?

URL?

Why you...

Ho ho ho....

I thought this was going to be about the band being on the radio at first. I just found the piccie of you holding the guitar on your web site - not how I pictured you at all Goaty...

Goatboy Swanslayer wrote

> The display consisted of the son putting his head in the gator's
> mouth.

That's the quickest way of becoming a Red Neck, short of er living in the swamps of Florida and running a shack "with ma pa". I'm off to Thailand in April; cue Elephant attack, shark attack, Ladyboy attack, Snake attack and Mossie swarm attack.

Can't wait.

I hate swans. Well done.

Ha ha ha!

LOL!

I've no idea what happened to them, I got bored waiting and left.

The swan.
We have them at work and they're angry things.
I went down to the lake one lunchtime for a wander and it came up near me.
I ignored it and carried on sauntering along.
It decides to attack me, for no reason at all. These things are massive, with wingspans like small light-aircraft so I did the natural thing:

I ran away.
And it chased me.
And suddenly it occured to me that I was the natural predator and I didnt want to waste millions of years of evolution.
So I stopped running, turned round and punched the swan in it's face.

It stopped, shook it's head and hissed at me.
So I punched it again in the throat.
It hacked something up and then ran away.

I visualised it alright. Just not funny, to me at least.

But then, I'm "different"

*gasps*

It's genius

You need to use your imaagination, I had all of it rolling in my head.

Did you mention a swan at the start or was that me being wrong?