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"www.digifelch.co.uk"

Have I ever mentioned this site before? It's one that me and Snuggly set up as a spoof gaming site about a year ago. We worked on it for about a week before getting fed up, but I was looking at it again this morning and I think it was actually pretty funny. It was never fully finished, and the PHP method I used to include the files was way too complicated, but it looks cool and the stories are good, if a bit unbelievable. Check it out, you won't regret it.

"Gullible nerd crushed beneath pile of spam"

I was going to offer up some potential hints, and perhaps even a few ideas for stories, but if that's you attitude, I'll take my genius elsewhere.

*huffs and walks off*

Yes. Thought that was obvious. Duh.

So you're essentially building a gaming version of "The Onion", looking at the stories below...

Government ban Sim Supermarket, when the Daily Mail reveal that potential terrorists can use purchase household products and make them into rudimentary bombs. "We don't want to give them an off the shelf shopping simulator", said a bespoke Kwiksava shelfstacker.

Horace goes to the Priory has been delayed, while the developer, M Barrymore, goes on a diving holiday to the Carribean. His PA claims that he won't be swimming but "floating around at mid depth, like that early morning t*rd, one sometimes produces after a night on the tiles."

The Chuck Norris gif rules :^)

Hang on, I should state that I didnt write this.

"FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS
UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT OUTLOOK
Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like

Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus.

"Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least, unexpected," said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious disease unit.

The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who said it will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours. "Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook," said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture Minister. "By eliminating it, we can focus our resources elsewhere."

However, researchers in the Netherlands, where foot-and-mouth has recently appeared, said they are not yet prepared to disqualify Outlook, which has been the progenitor of viruses such as "I Love You," "Bubbleboy," "Anna Kournikova," and "Naked Wife," to name but a few.

Said Nils Overmars, director of the Molecular Virology Lab at Leiden University: "It's not that we don't trust the research, it's just that as scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of any finding that flies in the face of established truth. And this one flies in the face like a blind drunk sparrow."

Executives at Microsoft, meanwhile, were equally skeptical, insisting that Outlook's patented Virus Transfer Protocol (VTP) has proven virtually pervious to any virus. The company, however, will issue a free VTP patch if it turns out the application is not vulnerable to foot-and-mouth.

Such an admission would be embarrassing for the software giant, but Symantec virologist Ariel Kologne insisted that no one is more humiliated by the study than she is. "Only last week, I had a reporter ask if the foot-and-mouth virus spreads through Microsoft Outlook, and I told him, 'Doesn't everything?'" she recalled. "Who would've thought?" "

Shigsy admits "I am mental and like the smell of hair. Domo Arigato"

Bill Gates attacks McDonalds in unprovoked MicroMcassault

Oh, gaming, right.