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"You’re going to make a movie…"

So there you are, sitting on your sofa watching re runs of Dads Army on UK Gold when all of a sudden the phone rings. You can’t be bothered to pick it up so you let it go to your novelty answer phone message. “Yo yo yo, this is the one and only Joe cool I’m too busy doing naughty things with fine looking ladies to pick up the phone, so please leave your message after this beep.” You smile. The man phoning introduces himself as one half of the Farrelly Brotherios, the Spanish version of the famous Farrelly Brothers. You suddenly sit up and rush to the phone, you pick it up and tell him your there. You have a long talk and he wants to give you £80 million to make a movie, without even seeing a script or anything he will just send you the money with out hesitation. You put the phone down with Adrenaline streaming through your body. You go to sleep with ideas running through your head. You wake up and sure enough on the door matt is an envelope from Spain, you hurriedly open it and there it is, a cheque for £80 million. But there is a letter too saying that in 5 months the Farrelly Brotherios will visit you to see how you’re doing.

So basically the question is, if you were given £80 million to make a movie, what would your film be like? Would it be Action? Erotic? Comedy? Romantic? Who will play the parts? To get the ball rolling I’ll start.


The film would be about a man who’s single, depressed and lonely who wakes up one day and by chance gets muddled up in a terrorist switch of briefcases, your given a briefcase filled with money while they receive one filled with plutonium! He doesn’t know what to do, but he decides to go mental and do everything he has ever wanted. The film would be a comedy/romantic and seeing as though I’m 15 there would be a few sex scenes in there, actually stuff that, all out lesbian sex warfare. The man at the end would find true love but he takes it for granted and she leaves him, and after a few years of wild parties, sex and fun he would be left with nothing, no money and nobody to love him. So once again he would be single, depressed and lonely but all of those things in a Beverly Hills mansion. He becomes a hermit, never leaving his house, shopping over the Internet and the like. He becomes the ‘b****r man’ and all the children make stories about him, he apparently has 7 arms, 4 heads and a large kneecap. He dies at the age of 68 of a cardiac arrest in his bed, with the curtains drawn and nobody around him.

That actually sounds funning miserable really. Oh well, it’s just a first draft.

Now, who would play the characters? I’d have Nicolas Cage as the man. I know a lot of you hate his acting skills but I like him. His wife that leaves him would be Renee Zellweger, good actor. Of course I would throw in Kelly Brook, Carmen Electra and Jennifer Lopez for the lesbian scenes. Also Ricky Gervais, Jim Carrey and Johnny Knoxville would be fitted in there somewhere.

So, now it’s your turn. Go wild.

Cheers for the replies geezers.

Ant wrote:
> Well, I've always wanted to make...a Metal Gear Solid movie, based on
> the first one. :D

I wouldn't. Way to much pressure. Imagine if you made it and it sucked, people would hate it and you and say you ruined Metal Gear for them. But if they did make one (which the should) I think the guy who plays Aragorn in LoTR could play Snake.

I'd make a full animated version of the Tick.
The big blue guy that is "mighty".
I'd have Sarah Michelle Gellar as the voice of the love interest for the Tick. Also I'd have Cameo's from Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mattew Perry, Will Smith and Denise Richards.

The basic plot:
After having chanted his war cry of "spoon" for the 1000th time the evil 'Fork features' comes to reek vengance on those who dare to call his arch enemy's name too many times. Major battle erupts. Tick comes to save the day but has to rescue Tiffany.

Please tell me you get the drift. It all involves the usuall Tick antics, so that means funny ha ha.

Yeah!

I'd spend the rest of the money on forming my own band made up of circus freaks and monkeys. We'd do the soundtrack and suck.

I'd do my the film I came up with years ago. Already have a script. Doesn't need big actors, it's set around where I live, no special effects, no optical effects. Could do it for a couple of thousand, maybe a bit more depending on the price of renting high quality equipment.

Would spend the rest on makin' porn. Nice.


(if it was more than 80 mill I'd do a film about The Bismarck, but it'd cost at least 100 mill)

You stole my idea that i did about a year ago.

It was a good story line, with a 3-way war on another planet......

CDouch wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> Well, I've always wanted to make...a Metal Gear Solid movie, based
> on
> the first one. :D
>
> I wouldn't. Way to much pressure.

Yeah, true...just get someone else to do it for me. {:)

They should definitely make one though.

Ant wrote:
> Well, I've always wanted to make...a Metal Gear Solid movie

Already done. They released it on the PS2 and called it MGS2: Sons Of Liberty.

The man has a point.
Terrible game, good movie.

Goatboy, if your there could you tell me who Sherylin Fenn is? Got any pictures suitable for the website?

Nah, the MGS2 plot was crap though. Hopefully Substance will make up for it.