Viewing Thread:
"You’re going to make a movie…"

So there you are, sitting on your sofa watching re runs of Dads Army on UK Gold when all of a sudden the phone rings. You can’t be bothered to pick it up so you let it go to your novelty answer phone message. “Yo yo yo, this is the one and only Joe cool I’m too busy doing naughty things with fine looking ladies to pick up the phone, so please leave your message after this beep.” You smile. The man phoning introduces himself as one half of the Farrelly Brotherios, the Spanish version of the famous Farrelly Brothers. You suddenly sit up and rush to the phone, you pick it up and tell him your there. You have a long talk and he wants to give you £80 million to make a movie, without even seeing a script or anything he will just send you the money with out hesitation. You put the phone down with Adrenaline streaming through your body. You go to sleep with ideas running through your head. You wake up and sure enough on the door matt is an envelope from Spain, you hurriedly open it and there it is, a cheque for £80 million. But there is a letter too saying that in 5 months the Farrelly Brotherios will visit you to see how you’re doing.

So basically the question is, if you were given £80 million to make a movie, what would your film be like? Would it be Action? Erotic? Comedy? Romantic? Who will play the parts? To get the ball rolling I’ll start.


The film would be about a man who’s single, depressed and lonely who wakes up one day and by chance gets muddled up in a terrorist switch of briefcases, your given a briefcase filled with money while they receive one filled with plutonium! He doesn’t know what to do, but he decides to go mental and do everything he has ever wanted. The film would be a comedy/romantic and seeing as though I’m 15 there would be a few sex scenes in there, actually stuff that, all out lesbian sex warfare. The man at the end would find true love but he takes it for granted and she leaves him, and after a few years of wild parties, sex and fun he would be left with nothing, no money and nobody to love him. So once again he would be single, depressed and lonely but all of those things in a Beverly Hills mansion. He becomes a hermit, never leaving his house, shopping over the Internet and the like. He becomes the ‘b****r man’ and all the children make stories about him, he apparently has 7 arms, 4 heads and a large kneecap. He dies at the age of 68 of a cardiac arrest in his bed, with the curtains drawn and nobody around him.

That actually sounds funning miserable really. Oh well, it’s just a first draft.

Now, who would play the characters? I’d have Nicolas Cage as the man. I know a lot of you hate his acting skills but I like him. His wife that leaves him would be Renee Zellweger, good actor. Of course I would throw in Kelly Brook, Carmen Electra and Jennifer Lopez for the lesbian scenes. Also Ricky Gervais, Jim Carrey and Johnny Knoxville would be fitted in there somewhere.

So, now it’s your turn. Go wild.

Porn film.

I'd live out many a fantasy with that

*drools*

I think it's safe to say it's the last one.

Angie Dickinson, Emily Dickinson or a cross between Iron Maiden and Guns And Roses?

gerrid wrote:
> My film would involve a small, unhealthy cat struggling to breathe for
> half an hour, followed scenes featuring an army of shaved mice in full
> Tudor battle dress, which contstantly cuts back to the unhealthy cat
> every four seconds, as teh cat drags itself the wrong way up a
> conveyor belt leading to an incinerator.
> The finalé would consist solely of a mans face, staring blankly
> at the screen, with unexplained yelping in the background. After 12
> minutes of this man's face, he would open his mouth to say something
> and the film would end.
> Obviously it would be hailed as a masterpiece and I would be given an
> unlimited budget to make another film, preferably involving telephones
> which ring eternally without ever being picked up.

Must spam.

This was already a film you theiving so and so. it won the Palm D'or.

An 80 million dollar porno...


Except my secret plan would be to only spend half the money on the film (still a ridiculous amount for a porno at any rate) and keep the rest for myself.

Meh, I like wearing bunny costumes. Not a problem.

:)

I think you've got more to worry about than spaming...

Well I'm in a bunny costume at the moment so you should enjoy it.

*Hug*

Damn, I'm spamming in my own topic. Is that allowed?

Random Hero wrote:
> Ant, do you want a hug?

Yes.

A big one.

My film would involve a small, unhealthy cat struggling to breathe for half an hour, followed scenes featuring an army of shaved mice in full Tudor battle dress, which contstantly cuts back to the unhealthy cat every four seconds, as teh cat drags itself the wrong way up a conveyor belt leading to an incinerator.
The finalé would consist solely of a mans face, staring blankly at the screen, with unexplained yelping in the background. After 12 minutes of this man's face, he would open his mouth to say something and the film would end.
Obviously it would be hailed as a masterpiece and I would be given an unlimited budget to make another film, preferably involving telephones which ring eternally without ever being picked up.