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Chess is being revamped for the masses, of inbred people who want a more action packed sport. To promote the radical changes to the game; including the introduction of teams, kits, substitutions and topless female managers, whose responsibility will be to bring players off at half time, the uberchess man, Kasparov is to play the android chess player, Deep Throat, in the last ever one on one match up.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
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If Cheggers was naked, it would be perfect.
I didn't understand a word of that. I'm too innocent.
SUPERB!
Chess is being revamped for the masses, of inbred people who want a more action packed sport. To promote the radical changes to the game; including the introduction of teams, kits, substitutions and topless female managers, whose responsibility will be to bring players off at half time, the uberchess man, Kasparov is to play the android chess player, Deep Throat, in the last ever one on one match up.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
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