The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Chess is being revamped for the masses, of inbred people who want a more action packed sport. To promote the radical changes to the game; including the introduction of teams, kits, substitutions and topless female managers, whose responsibility will be to bring players off at half time, the uberchess man, Kasparov is to play the android chess player, Deep Throat, in the last ever one on one match up.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
The Lithuanian inventor of Deep Throat, Ms Lovelace, claims that the android is invincible and in her broken English explains “DT is good at Pawn, and will bash Kaparov’s Bishop into submission with deft flicks of mechanical wrist. DT never gives in and will come from behind when required. My creation is happy to take a Queen and will show you how King great he play.”
When questioned about Kasparov’s ability to match Deep Throat on the board she snorted “DT will bash him off at every opportunity, Kasparov will not match him and will have to learn to swallow his pride”.
Ms Lovelace is forthright about the animosity between her and Kasparov, which emanates from an earlier encounter between the two at a recent chess party hosted by Michael Jackson (who sang “it does matter if you're black or white” amongst his other classics). Lovelace claims that Kapsparov may be intelligent and well respected but his behaviour at the party was indecent. He deeply offended her in conversations as he repeatedly used innuendo in a vain attempt at humour.
Kasparov was understandably tight-lipped at the pre-match weigh in; though he did exchange several dirty looks with Deep Throat and emitted a cry of disbelief when the android was two tonnes over the limit. However the tin man simply loosened his nuts and shot his bolt, into an adjacent broom cupboard in order to make the weight. One plucky reporter did get Kasparov to comment on his opponent and he simply said, “Deep Throat sucks”.
The game will be shown on Channel 5 and Keith Chegwin will present the event live from Spearmint Rhino.
Page:
Heh heh heh.
Perfect sniggering material
Perfect sniggering material
Tee hee hee.
YeY.
More please.
More please.
*News just in*
Justin "Kasparov was soundly thrashed by Deep Throat today, during the intruiging Chess match played out in the early hours of this morning at Spearmint Rhino. The venue has proved popular, the bouncers being particularly curteous to the players when they arrived asking them to "please come inside, deepthroat, Kasparov", doffing their radio mikes in respect as they passed by".
"The game was over quickly as Kasparov's game ended prematurely after DT showed him six moves, the like of which haven't been seen before and mated him".
"Upon losing the game, Kasparov left immediately without shaking his victor's hand. DT however took his victory with dignity and simply stated "he only likes it when he comes out on top."
Due to the popularity of celebrity chess match: Julian Clary vs Barrymore and DT vs Chegwin, will feature as an attractive double header.
Justin "Kasparov was soundly thrashed by Deep Throat today, during the intruiging Chess match played out in the early hours of this morning at Spearmint Rhino. The venue has proved popular, the bouncers being particularly curteous to the players when they arrived asking them to "please come inside, deepthroat, Kasparov", doffing their radio mikes in respect as they passed by".
"The game was over quickly as Kasparov's game ended prematurely after DT showed him six moves, the like of which haven't been seen before and mated him".
"Upon losing the game, Kasparov left immediately without shaking his victor's hand. DT however took his victory with dignity and simply stated "he only likes it when he comes out on top."
Due to the popularity of celebrity chess match: Julian Clary vs Barrymore and DT vs Chegwin, will feature as an attractive double header.
*laughs*
Beejs aplenty.
Jowblobs + chess = ratings
Great post.
Great post.
You mean you haven't seen him playing naked tiddlywinks?
You have missed out on something momentous there.
Behind Nando's in Camberwell, every Tuesday at 11.30.
Be there or be somewhere else.
You have missed out on something momentous there.
Behind Nando's in Camberwell, every Tuesday at 11.30.
Be there or be somewhere else.
gerrid wrote:
> If Cheggers was naked, it would be perfect.
He could then demonstrate his love of the Tiddly wink, but that's another topic.
> If Cheggers was naked, it would be perfect.
He could then demonstrate his love of the Tiddly wink, but that's another topic.
Gerrid likes naked men
hehehehe
hehehehe
Page: