Viewing Thread:
"They can send a man to the moon..."

...but why can't they make an empty yogurt pot that'll stay upright with a spoon in it?

Terry Nutkins fighting monkeys in space, there's a concept I can't get enough of. Are you watching, Channel 4?

"Oh my God, Nutkins just kicked that monkey's head off!"

his mouth agape, heading inevitably toward the floating pile of Dumb dog's doggy doo.

*wiping back a Rolph tear*

"And now, with another 4 days left of the mission, it's been decided that Nutkins should have a fight with the orangutan"
"Er...Rolph, I didnt agree to that"
"It's ok Terry, it's for the viewers. And the kitty"

Comedy zero-g chase with irate orangutan chasing a floating Nutkins through the bowels of the shuttle, waving it's monkey-fist and screaming incoherently

Rolf Harris providing a voicover on the events in Shuttle on the tea time slot, adopting his *mornful tone*

"The hairless, skinfreak of a cat was badly injured in a fight with the Orang-utan, after it mistakenly thought it was a Pink Space Banana and tried to suck out it's innards after peeling off a small portion of it's skin. The cat took umbridge with this and a melee ensued.

Although Nutkinds performed impromptu surgery on the now severly wounded cat (missing several internal organs amd much skin), with the dumb dog as anethetist and comforting nad licker, it sadly passed away that evening or morning or lunchtime, I can't get my head around this space malarkey."

I think a 'big brother in space' would work quite well.

Loser each week gets ejected out of the airlock.

I'd like to see the next shuttle mission comprised of a really stupid dog, an orangutan in a bad mood, one of those hairless cats and Terry Nutkins to keep them in order.

Then, fully televised, a zero-g fight between the animals with Nutkins floating about screaming hysterically as he commentates.

Imagine watching a live shuttle launch with various animals onboard including the Blue Peter dog: Bonzo.

*WE HAVE IGNITION*
*FIVE*
*ENGINE IS GO*
*FOUR*
*THREE*
*TWO*
*ONE*

*We have lift off, Good luck to all onboard the Ark*

Commentator

"Just look at the power of the shuttle's booster rockets, sending the Ark on it's way to explore the outer regions of our Galaxy. Surely Bonzo is excited and I can almost picture him wagging his little doggy tail, if the g-force wasn't preventing it from doing so".

*Suddenly there is a explosion as the shuttle disintegrates in an apocalyptic fusion of high energy and leaking rocket fuel.*

"Kids, Bonzo isn't going to space anymore; he's just found a new home in the sky with Jesus."

Imagine aliens discovering the dog astronaught.
That would rule

"Look Kwang, it's happy to see us. We can put away the death-laser"
"Hey, it's licking it's own nads! Cool"

Blank wrote:
"PS, buy Fruit Corners."

You still have to balance the spoon. All they need to do is make the base wider than the top. Put a little plastic coaster on the bottom.

Only problem there is if the pod gets found.

"Greetings outer-being! We are from the planet..."

"Bert, he just flagulated on your leg."

**ZAAAPPP**

Which will then involve them reading the "Property of Planet Earth" sign, and they'll wipe out our existance.