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"Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be... a child abuser!"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2663189.stm

I like Matthew Kelly. I hope there turns out to be no substance to this.

It just goes to show, really, that you should never judge a book by it's cover. *sounds like granny*

Anybody could be guilty of a crime now, whether they have an impeccable record or not. Sure, they may look all innocent and "pure", but what really lurks in their minds?

There's been a couple of examples of this recently. Take John Lesley for example.

Funnily enough, I've always thought of Matthew Kelly as a child molester. I don't know why, he just seems to have that undefinable quality. I kind of hope he's guilty, well obviously I don't because that would mean that children's lives have been ruined........

Erm, I think he's guilty then. And Pete Townsend is innocent.

"Watch out for the limited 'think of the children' packs, containing a condensed hystercial mob in a sachet*. Just add water."

*Inflamatory remarks not included.

And collect tokens from Ricin Crispies and recieve your free "Burn the peedo" placard to wave angrily outside suburban police-stations.
Also comes in "darkies out" "saddam = hitler" and "Vote Jade Out" versions.

Kellogs Ricin Crispies: fed up shouting at your kids? Too lazy to explain to them the moral value system, then why not feed them our new cereal, especially designed to show them that you mean business. Look out for special promotion packs containing calcium and chunks of lead.

I blame immigrants and The Who.
And Saddam Hussein.
And Ricin.

I can just picture two old wives up in Grimsby, clucking over a garden fence at each other saying "ee I always thought that ee were a bad un".

Granted the police arrest, but the tabloids whip up hysteria and try people in the public eye before any charges have been made.
John Leslie anyone? That guy's career is over. Why? To boost sales of an autobiography.

It sells papers, people are morons and the police have to react because of red-faced mobs baying for blood.
Anyone seen Life of Brian?

"Jehova! Jehova!"

Its funny how you lot blame the media for all these different cases. BUT its the police who arrest people so why dont you blame them for being over cautious and paedo mungering. Anyway in the end newspapers want money so they "bend" the truth to make a more interesting read. Doesnt mean they are to blame for arrests and charges brought to "innocent" celebrities. Its the system, rage against it!

The title kinda ruins the joke but anyway...

A little boy is appearing on 'Stars in Their Eyes.'

"Tonight Matthew," he says, "I am going to be... abused!"