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"WWE Christmas Schedule..."

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Fri 20/12/02 at 18:24
Regular
Posts: 787
WWE Christmas Schedule

· Thursday 19th December – WWE SmackDown!

It’s Brock’s stag night, so WWE SmackDown General Manager Stephanie McMahon has prepared lots of booze…and a stripper. Shannon Moore breaks the news to Matt that he is cheating on him…with Chavo Guerrero.

* * * * * * * *

Brock: *drunk* “Stephanie, I do”

Steph: “Brock, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”

Brock: “You called me hunk hur hur”

Steph: “Hmm, Brock, wait until you see the stripper!”

Mae Young: “Helllllo Stephanie. I am here to…”

The Dudleys run in and set up a table behind Mae. She turns around and they 3D her through it.

Bubba: “…get wood?”

Mae Young: *on floor* “What do they make those tables out of…polystyrene? Heck, lets all go drink tequila!”

The stars walk off and get píssed.

Funaki: “This…is Funaki…SmackDown Nummer W’n Announcer. I here, with Big Show.

Big Show: “DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?!?!”

Funaki: “He…say bum heh.”

Big Show: “I’M SO PROUD’VE MA MAN. ME AND BROCK WILL MAKE AN EXCELLENT COUPLE!”

Funaki: “Bi’ Show. You no marry Brock. Al Willy-sson marry Brock.”

Big Show: “BU…”

Hardcore Holly: “How do you like me now?”

Crash: “Who the heck are you?”

Ron Simmons: “Well I’ll be damned!”

The cameras pan to the SmackDown stage, where the stripper takes her place. A drunken Brock watches on from the commentary table.

Brock: “Go Mae! Go Mae! Go Mae!”

Mae begins to get her kit off.

Mae: “You like that honey?”

The crowd cheer, especially Anthony Haynes and Matt Hughes, are stunned at Mae’s ‘awesome’ body.

Tazz: “Brock..?”

Brock: “Uh huh…”

Cole: “Errr, Tazz, I can’t wait for Easter.”

Tazz: “That was an amazing…*long pause*…dance there by Mae.”

Cole and Tazz continue going on about some irrelevant crap. The camera goes backstage, with Matt delivering some Mattitude to Shannon Moore and Chavo Guerrero.

Matt: “You guys are so gunna regret it.”

Chavo: “How cheech?”

Matt: “That is IT!” *Matt storms off to cry to Steph*

Meanwhile, at ringside…

Brock: “Uh huh…”

Cole: “Welcome to WWE SmackDown! I’m Mikey Coley, alongside Tazz.”

Tazz: “Errr…Mikey…it…*long pause*…is the end of the show.”

The show ends with Brock making more sense then Cole and Tazz.

· Monday 23rd December – WWE RAW

Tonight, we are told that George W. Bush will be making a special appearance. He’ll play the part of a straight wrestler, something that doesn’t happen very often. Triple H will get his tongue stuck up Eric Bischoff’s, err, rectum. We will also see RVD break a nail, and Booker T call The Dyson a ‘sucka’.

* * * * * * * *

Eric: “Welcome to WWE RAW. What a show we have for you tonight! Rob Van Dam will tackle a ladder, whilst Booker T will meet The Dyson. Let’s meet our commentators, JR and The King!”

King: “PUPPIES…”

JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”

King: “PUPPIES…”

JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”

“CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAAAAAAAA?” Booker T walks down to the ring.

*Sucking noises can be heard* The Dyson rolls to the ring.

Booker T: *Stares at Dyson* “Can you dig it…SUCKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAA?”

King: “Wow! Booker T just called the Dyson a sucka. I don’t think this war is over! PUPPIES…”

JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce. You’re right, this feud is just starting! Booker T is on a role here!”

Eric: “That was amazing” *Grins* “This is really heating up here tonight! Up next…Mr. Monday Night lives up to his name as he faces The Ladder!”

“ONE OF A KIND!” RVD flies in the ring and does his funny bouncy thingy. He stares at The Ladder.

RVD: “Everything’s cool when you’re RVD!”

WOAH! THE CAMERAS SHOOT BACKSTAGE! BOOKER T AND THE DYSON ARE AT IT AGAIN!

Booker T: “…Sucka…”

The referees are trying to split these two up! Back in the ring, RVD is flat on his back! HIS NAIL IS BROKEN! EMTS RUSH TO THE RING! RVD HAS BROKEN A NAIL.

**20 minutes later**

Eric: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have the task of breaking the unfortunate news to you. RVD has seriously broken his nail. Dr. Mustapha Tossoff is here with the latest!”

Mustapha: “This is really bad for RVD. Early scans show he could be out for months!”

Eric: “Thanks Mustapha. Well, now I have to go backstage to meet Triple H.”

Eric goes backstage.

Triple H: “Hey darling.”

Eric: “Errr, wrong show. I take it you want Stephanie…”

Triple H: “No, I want you!”

Eric: “Hunter…” *stares* “What are you doing kneeling down behind…” *Eric feels something on his body* “…ME!”

Triple H: “Oh cwap, my tongue is stuck up youw asss”

TRIPLE H HAS GOT HIS TONGUE STUCK UP ERIC BISCHOFF’S RECTUM! THE EMTS AREN’T HERE AS THEY ARE STILL WITH VAN DAM!

All the WWE ‘superstars’ run in, and try to help.

In the ring, the American National Anthem plays, as “Georgey Bush Bush” makes his way out onto the stage.

“I’M AN A$SHOLE! YES I’M AN A$SHOLE” Osama Bin Laden steps out from under the Tron, complete with new music.

Bush: “I WANT WARRRRRR! HAHAHHA.”

Osama: “I want to explain why I decided to do what I did on 9/11.” *Coughs* “I was in my cave…with my goat…watching a WWE show when…”

Mae Young walks out and starts to strip. Osama goes into a trance. Osama’s goat suddenly dies, before Mae leaves the stage and heads to the back.

Osama: “Damn you, Mae. I kill you…all of you.”

Bush: “I want war…”

Eric comes on the Tron, along with Triple H.

Eric: “Wow, our ratings have shot up. Get on to our storywriters; we want a murder, a fight and a wedding! Also, change our name to EastEnders, change our location, and change our characters! Now we’re talking! Yeah. Join us in two weeks for our New Year partay!”

* * * * * * * *

Thanks for reading. I’ll maybe do an SRW one.

DW
Fri 19/12/03 at 10:40
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
Lipe wrote:
> TOO LATE! Lol, you fell asleep because a WWE without HHH is so boring!

only went to sleep because a WWE without HHH ruining it would mean half of my moaning would just disappear meaning more time for sleep


> Who else would you diss?


Oh there's plenty to get in the firing line of the acid tounged Laker.

A-train, Vince, The writing team, Big Show, Batista, The whole womens division etc etc etc


There's plenty for me to moan about :-D
Fri 19/12/03 at 10:33
Regular
Posts: 11,373
TOO LATE! Lol, you fell asleep because a WWE without HHH is so boring! Who else would you diss?
Fri 19/12/03 at 06:21
Regular
Posts: 11,597
lalakersrule wrote:
> Makes you not ever want to wake up doesn't it :-D *runs off before
> Lipe reads this hehe*

:cD Oooo we're so naughty.
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:55
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
Makes you not ever want to wake up doesn't it :-D *runs off before Lipe reads this hehe*
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:54
Regular
Posts: 11,597
:cD

A world that has no HHH...

*falls asleep*
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:51
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
I'll be getting off to bed at about 1 in the afternoon today. After going around town with my girlfriend taking about 3 hours to choose what she wants for christmas and going into the same shops about 6 times to *make sure their prices are cheaper* i'll probably be pretty tired so should fall asleep straight away and dream of a WWE that has no HHH in it.
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:49
Regular
Posts: 11,597
;c)

Damn petrol.

I've not slept yet. :c(

Have been playing FIFA all night...

...and the damn thing just locked up on me. After an 8-2 victory (on professional mode). With my favourite player scoring three amazing goals. And getting man of the match.

Píssed off? Yes, I am.
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:47
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
DW wrote:
> LALAKERS! SOMEONE ELSE IS ONLINE. YAY!


yea all that petrol drinking kept me up..........oh and stupid bloody work.
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:45
Regular
Posts: 11,597
LALAKERS! SOMEONE ELSE IS ONLINE. YAY!
Fri 19/12/03 at 05:30
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
demonhead wrote:
> Jericho15 wrote:
>
> I see we have another annoying NoOb who's joined the forums...Dam!
>
> alll i see is a bunch of pervs that drink petrol or paint stripper or
> watever cleaning products u people drink to have to take 5 mins to
> type 1 sentence


How dare you i don't drink petrol or paint stripper or any other well known brands of cleaning products................................. OHH and i'm not a pervert either .............ahem.

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