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WWE Christmas Schedule
· Thursday 19th December – WWE SmackDown!
It’s Brock’s stag night, so WWE SmackDown General Manager Stephanie McMahon has prepared lots of booze…and a stripper. Shannon Moore breaks the news to Matt that he is cheating on him…with Chavo Guerrero.
* * * * * * * *
Brock: *drunk* “Stephanie, I do”
Steph: “Brock, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”
Brock: “You called me hunk hur hur”
Steph: “Hmm, Brock, wait until you see the stripper!”
Mae Young: “Helllllo Stephanie. I am here to…”
The Dudleys run in and set up a table behind Mae. She turns around and they 3D her through it.
Bubba: “…get wood?”
Mae Young: *on floor* “What do they make those tables out of…polystyrene? Heck, lets all go drink tequila!”
The stars walk off and get píssed.
Funaki: “This…is Funaki…SmackDown Nummer W’n Announcer. I here, with Big Show.
Big Show: “DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?!?!”
Funaki: “He…say bum heh.”
Big Show: “I’M SO PROUD’VE MA MAN. ME AND BROCK WILL MAKE AN EXCELLENT COUPLE!”
Funaki: “Bi’ Show. You no marry Brock. Al Willy-sson marry Brock.”
Big Show: “BU…”
Hardcore Holly: “How do you like me now?”
Crash: “Who the heck are you?”
Ron Simmons: “Well I’ll be damned!”
The cameras pan to the SmackDown stage, where the stripper takes her place. A drunken Brock watches on from the commentary table.
Brock: “Go Mae! Go Mae! Go Mae!”
Mae begins to get her kit off.
Mae: “You like that honey?”
The crowd cheer, especially Anthony Haynes and Matt Hughes, are stunned at Mae’s ‘awesome’ body.
Tazz: “Brock..?”
Brock: “Uh huh…”
Cole: “Errr, Tazz, I can’t wait for Easter.”
Tazz: “That was an amazing…*long pause*…dance there by Mae.”
Cole and Tazz continue going on about some irrelevant crap. The camera goes backstage, with Matt delivering some Mattitude to Shannon Moore and Chavo Guerrero.
Matt: “You guys are so gunna regret it.”
Chavo: “How cheech?”
Matt: “That is IT!” *Matt storms off to cry to Steph*
Meanwhile, at ringside…
Brock: “Uh huh…”
Cole: “Welcome to WWE SmackDown! I’m Mikey Coley, alongside Tazz.”
Tazz: “Errr…Mikey…it…*long pause*…is the end of the show.”
The show ends with Brock making more sense then Cole and Tazz.
· Monday 23rd December – WWE RAW
Tonight, we are told that George W. Bush will be making a special appearance. He’ll play the part of a straight wrestler, something that doesn’t happen very often. Triple H will get his tongue stuck up Eric Bischoff’s, err, rectum. We will also see RVD break a nail, and Booker T call The Dyson a ‘sucka’.
* * * * * * * *
Eric: “Welcome to WWE RAW. What a show we have for you tonight! Rob Van Dam will tackle a ladder, whilst Booker T will meet The Dyson. Let’s meet our commentators, JR and The King!”
King: “PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”
King: “PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”
“CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAAAAAAAA?” Booker T walks down to the ring.
*Sucking noises can be heard* The Dyson rolls to the ring.
Booker T: *Stares at Dyson* “Can you dig it…SUCKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAA?”
King: “Wow! Booker T just called the Dyson a sucka. I don’t think this war is over! PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce. You’re right, this feud is just starting! Booker T is on a role here!”
Eric: “That was amazing” *Grins* “This is really heating up here tonight! Up next…Mr. Monday Night lives up to his name as he faces The Ladder!”
“ONE OF A KIND!” RVD flies in the ring and does his funny bouncy thingy. He stares at The Ladder.
RVD: “Everything’s cool when you’re RVD!”
WOAH! THE CAMERAS SHOOT BACKSTAGE! BOOKER T AND THE DYSON ARE AT IT AGAIN!
Booker T: “…Sucka…”
The referees are trying to split these two up! Back in the ring, RVD is flat on his back! HIS NAIL IS BROKEN! EMTS RUSH TO THE RING! RVD HAS BROKEN A NAIL.
**20 minutes later**
Eric: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have the task of breaking the unfortunate news to you. RVD has seriously broken his nail. Dr. Mustapha Tossoff is here with the latest!”
Mustapha: “This is really bad for RVD. Early scans show he could be out for months!”
Eric: “Thanks Mustapha. Well, now I have to go backstage to meet Triple H.”
Eric goes backstage.
Triple H: “Hey darling.”
Eric: “Errr, wrong show. I take it you want Stephanie…”
Triple H: “No, I want you!”
Eric: “Hunter…” *stares* “What are you doing kneeling down behind…” *Eric feels something on his body* “…ME!”
Triple H: “Oh cwap, my tongue is stuck up youw asss”
TRIPLE H HAS GOT HIS TONGUE STUCK UP ERIC BISCHOFF’S RECTUM! THE EMTS AREN’T HERE AS THEY ARE STILL WITH VAN DAM!
All the WWE ‘superstars’ run in, and try to help.
In the ring, the American National Anthem plays, as “Georgey Bush Bush” makes his way out onto the stage.
“I’M AN A$SHOLE! YES I’M AN A$SHOLE” Osama Bin Laden steps out from under the Tron, complete with new music.
Bush: “I WANT WARRRRRR! HAHAHHA.”
Osama: “I want to explain why I decided to do what I did on 9/11.” *Coughs* “I was in my cave…with my goat…watching a WWE show when…”
Mae Young walks out and starts to strip. Osama goes into a trance. Osama’s goat suddenly dies, before Mae leaves the stage and heads to the back.
Osama: “Damn you, Mae. I kill you…all of you.”
Bush: “I want war…”
Eric comes on the Tron, along with Triple H.
Eric: “Wow, our ratings have shot up. Get on to our storywriters; we want a murder, a fight and a wedding! Also, change our name to EastEnders, change our location, and change our characters! Now we’re talking! Yeah. Join us in two weeks for our New Year partay!”
* * * * * * * *
Thanks for reading. I’ll maybe do an SRW one.
DW
· Thursday 19th December – WWE SmackDown!
It’s Brock’s stag night, so WWE SmackDown General Manager Stephanie McMahon has prepared lots of booze…and a stripper. Shannon Moore breaks the news to Matt that he is cheating on him…with Chavo Guerrero.
* * * * * * * *
Brock: *drunk* “Stephanie, I do”
Steph: “Brock, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”
Brock: “You called me hunk hur hur”
Steph: “Hmm, Brock, wait until you see the stripper!”
Mae Young: “Helllllo Stephanie. I am here to…”
The Dudleys run in and set up a table behind Mae. She turns around and they 3D her through it.
Bubba: “…get wood?”
Mae Young: *on floor* “What do they make those tables out of…polystyrene? Heck, lets all go drink tequila!”
The stars walk off and get píssed.
Funaki: “This…is Funaki…SmackDown Nummer W’n Announcer. I here, with Big Show.
Big Show: “DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?!?!”
Funaki: “He…say bum heh.”
Big Show: “I’M SO PROUD’VE MA MAN. ME AND BROCK WILL MAKE AN EXCELLENT COUPLE!”
Funaki: “Bi’ Show. You no marry Brock. Al Willy-sson marry Brock.”
Big Show: “BU…”
Hardcore Holly: “How do you like me now?”
Crash: “Who the heck are you?”
Ron Simmons: “Well I’ll be damned!”
The cameras pan to the SmackDown stage, where the stripper takes her place. A drunken Brock watches on from the commentary table.
Brock: “Go Mae! Go Mae! Go Mae!”
Mae begins to get her kit off.
Mae: “You like that honey?”
The crowd cheer, especially Anthony Haynes and Matt Hughes, are stunned at Mae’s ‘awesome’ body.
Tazz: “Brock..?”
Brock: “Uh huh…”
Cole: “Errr, Tazz, I can’t wait for Easter.”
Tazz: “That was an amazing…*long pause*…dance there by Mae.”
Cole and Tazz continue going on about some irrelevant crap. The camera goes backstage, with Matt delivering some Mattitude to Shannon Moore and Chavo Guerrero.
Matt: “You guys are so gunna regret it.”
Chavo: “How cheech?”
Matt: “That is IT!” *Matt storms off to cry to Steph*
Meanwhile, at ringside…
Brock: “Uh huh…”
Cole: “Welcome to WWE SmackDown! I’m Mikey Coley, alongside Tazz.”
Tazz: “Errr…Mikey…it…*long pause*…is the end of the show.”
The show ends with Brock making more sense then Cole and Tazz.
· Monday 23rd December – WWE RAW
Tonight, we are told that George W. Bush will be making a special appearance. He’ll play the part of a straight wrestler, something that doesn’t happen very often. Triple H will get his tongue stuck up Eric Bischoff’s, err, rectum. We will also see RVD break a nail, and Booker T call The Dyson a ‘sucka’.
* * * * * * * *
Eric: “Welcome to WWE RAW. What a show we have for you tonight! Rob Van Dam will tackle a ladder, whilst Booker T will meet The Dyson. Let’s meet our commentators, JR and The King!”
King: “PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”
King: “PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce!”
“CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAAAAAAAA?” Booker T walks down to the ring.
*Sucking noises can be heard* The Dyson rolls to the ring.
Booker T: *Stares at Dyson* “Can you dig it…SUCKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAA?”
King: “Wow! Booker T just called the Dyson a sucka. I don’t think this war is over! PUPPIES…”
JR: “…eat JR’s BBQ sauce. You’re right, this feud is just starting! Booker T is on a role here!”
Eric: “That was amazing” *Grins* “This is really heating up here tonight! Up next…Mr. Monday Night lives up to his name as he faces The Ladder!”
“ONE OF A KIND!” RVD flies in the ring and does his funny bouncy thingy. He stares at The Ladder.
RVD: “Everything’s cool when you’re RVD!”
WOAH! THE CAMERAS SHOOT BACKSTAGE! BOOKER T AND THE DYSON ARE AT IT AGAIN!
Booker T: “…Sucka…”
The referees are trying to split these two up! Back in the ring, RVD is flat on his back! HIS NAIL IS BROKEN! EMTS RUSH TO THE RING! RVD HAS BROKEN A NAIL.
**20 minutes later**
Eric: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have the task of breaking the unfortunate news to you. RVD has seriously broken his nail. Dr. Mustapha Tossoff is here with the latest!”
Mustapha: “This is really bad for RVD. Early scans show he could be out for months!”
Eric: “Thanks Mustapha. Well, now I have to go backstage to meet Triple H.”
Eric goes backstage.
Triple H: “Hey darling.”
Eric: “Errr, wrong show. I take it you want Stephanie…”
Triple H: “No, I want you!”
Eric: “Hunter…” *stares* “What are you doing kneeling down behind…” *Eric feels something on his body* “…ME!”
Triple H: “Oh cwap, my tongue is stuck up youw asss”
TRIPLE H HAS GOT HIS TONGUE STUCK UP ERIC BISCHOFF’S RECTUM! THE EMTS AREN’T HERE AS THEY ARE STILL WITH VAN DAM!
All the WWE ‘superstars’ run in, and try to help.
In the ring, the American National Anthem plays, as “Georgey Bush Bush” makes his way out onto the stage.
“I’M AN A$SHOLE! YES I’M AN A$SHOLE” Osama Bin Laden steps out from under the Tron, complete with new music.
Bush: “I WANT WARRRRRR! HAHAHHA.”
Osama: “I want to explain why I decided to do what I did on 9/11.” *Coughs* “I was in my cave…with my goat…watching a WWE show when…”
Mae Young walks out and starts to strip. Osama goes into a trance. Osama’s goat suddenly dies, before Mae leaves the stage and heads to the back.
Osama: “Damn you, Mae. I kill you…all of you.”
Bush: “I want war…”
Eric comes on the Tron, along with Triple H.
Eric: “Wow, our ratings have shot up. Get on to our storywriters; we want a murder, a fight and a wedding! Also, change our name to EastEnders, change our location, and change our characters! Now we’re talking! Yeah. Join us in two weeks for our New Year partay!”
* * * * * * * *
Thanks for reading. I’ll maybe do an SRW one.
DW
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DW wrote:
> Jae wrote:
> I guess I'm a bit late reading this with 60+ replies but still...
>
> That was comedy. :D
>
> You've already read it. And replied.
Oh yeah... :D Now twice. :P
> Jae wrote:
> I guess I'm a bit late reading this with 60+ replies but still...
>
> That was comedy. :D
>
> You've already read it. And replied.
Oh yeah... :D Now twice. :P
Lmao...you crack me up :D
Lipe wrote:
> Your part of the public...are you saying you don't know jack? :P
Nope never heard of him i'm afraid but i've had many encounters with Jill :-D
> Your part of the public...are you saying you don't know jack? :P
Nope never heard of him i'm afraid but i've had many encounters with Jill :-D
Your part of the public...are you saying you don't know jack? :P
Lipe wrote:
> Yep...they know alot!
They may do but wrestling is a topic of which they know nothing :-)
> Yep...they know alot!
They may do but wrestling is a topic of which they know nothing :-)
Yep...they know alot!
Lipe wrote:
> Lies! All lies! And people cheer for HHH so there :P
*hits repeat button on Lakers top ten most used phrases tape*
They cheer for Goldberg as well so that shows how much they know. :-D
> Lies! All lies! And people cheer for HHH so there :P
*hits repeat button on Lakers top ten most used phrases tape*
They cheer for Goldberg as well so that shows how much they know. :-D
Lies! All lies! And people cheer for HHH so there :P
Lipe wrote:
> lalakersrule wrote:
> There's plenty for me to moan about :-D
>
> And yet you only seem to moan about HHH.
Not true. I've moaned about that useless lump A-Train, i've moaned about the god awful writing teams and i've moaned about Vince and his stubborn nature of pushing useless muscle bound idiots like Batista ahead of real talent like Benoit and Jericho.
It just so happens i hate HHH so much i moan about him the most. Oh and just a side note, the raw ratings had been steadily rising while HHH was gone, yet after Armageddon and mr backstage power winning his belt back the ratings have fallen again. Just a side note, that's all :-D
> lalakersrule wrote:
> There's plenty for me to moan about :-D
>
> And yet you only seem to moan about HHH.
Not true. I've moaned about that useless lump A-Train, i've moaned about the god awful writing teams and i've moaned about Vince and his stubborn nature of pushing useless muscle bound idiots like Batista ahead of real talent like Benoit and Jericho.
It just so happens i hate HHH so much i moan about him the most. Oh and just a side note, the raw ratings had been steadily rising while HHH was gone, yet after Armageddon and mr backstage power winning his belt back the ratings have fallen again. Just a side note, that's all :-D
lalakersrule wrote:
> There's plenty for me to moan about :-D
And yet you only seem to moan about HHH.
> There's plenty for me to moan about :-D
And yet you only seem to moan about HHH.
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