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Ever seen The Truman Show?
For those of you that haven't, it's about a guy that lives in a nice perfect town with a perfect wife, decent job and a nice house. Everything is A-OK.
Except he's the start of the biggest tv show on the planet, he just doesnt know it. The whole town is a set, his wife is an actor, as are his family, friends and every single person in Seahaven.
He's continually filmed, has been since he's a baby. For the entertainment of others.
Today it hit me, I believe the exact same thing is happening to me. It's the only explanation for what has been, to put it politely, an odd life.
Events and circumstances that at the time struck me (and still does) as odd, but make perfect sense if you realise that I’m in the middle of the most bizarre television experiment ever.
A quick rundown of moments I remember, things that have happened and events that give weight to some higher power pulling my strings for the amusement of others. You call this person “god”, I call it “The Network”.
Went to work for a newspaper because I wanted to do journalism. Ended up being shunted into sales. Rented my 1st place by myself, took 2 weeks off to move in. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job.
(flash forward a year)
Went on holiday to The States for 2 weeks. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job
(flash forward 3 years)
Going on holiday in Jan for 2 weeks to move into a new place. I’m taking bets on what will happen when I come back on the 1st day back.
The job I’m in, the one I went for and got after getting sacked on my 1st day back from The States?
Was supposed to be a 3 week temp position, got asked to stay. Told them I was crap but they wanted me anyway. Continually foul up things, spend most of my day on the internet and things I wish would occur (boob flashing, lesbian kisses, promotion and mo’ money) seem to happen without rhyme or reason. This is despite my continual “Look, I suck at this job” statements to my boss. My last boss here complained about me, said I was surly, unhelpful and a slacker. It went to a written warning in front of the “board”.
What happened? I got promoted, moved into Marketing and she had a loaf of accounts taken away from her.
Bought a brand new car. Under warranty? Fine. 1st day the warranty expires? Head Gasket blows, screws engine and I need to buy a complete replacement engine. The very day it’s not covered by warranty.
Worry about where the money will come from to pay for engine. The morning I’m due to go to the bank, I discover I’m owed almost £1,000 in back taxes. Oddly, the very amount it’ll cost to fix the car.
Take ex-girlfriend to an audition one day. Wait outside in car as usual. After 90 mins, my teeth are floating and I need a pee. Go into studios, spy a drumkit. Studio owner asks if I play. “Why yes”.
I play for 20 mins. He tells me a duo are looking for a drummer. I refuse, only there to take missus for an audition. I leave my number out of politeness. Singer phones me for 2 weeks whilst I dodge his calls, not interested. Decide to finally meet to get him off my back. They give me a CD that I think is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. Find myself in Parker. In Parker because I happened to take a girlfriend to that particular studio on that particular day and happened to need a pee at that exact moment. The same exact moment the studio owner is visiting (apparently he only comes in every month or so to check up on things), the same exact moment he asks if I want to play on his kit – he is very possessive and never lets anybody play it.
Yet on that day, that man and that moment he just decided to.
Out with friends, offer to pay for meal. Card declined. Find out somebody has obtained my details and sent me £3,000 overdrawn. Find out where purchases were made, contact owner. Get name and address of bloke that did it, complete with signed delivery note. Take note & name to Police.
Police lose my details. Take all evidence again next day.
Police lose my details again.
Repeat journey with details.
Police do not contact me for 5 weeks, then say “We cant find the original report”
Bank replaces money.
Card declined at garage today. Contact bank. Account perfectly respectable, bank decides to cancel my card because they thought fraudulent activity may have been going on. Didn’t contact me, just cancelled the card. When asked why they didn’t do this when I had my money taken, they umm and err and hang up on me.
All moments (and there are hundreds more) that make me stop and think “Hang on a minute, something’s up”.
I don’t know what it is, but something’s amiss. The above are only a tiny few of literally hundreds of things that happen to me. Bizarre coincidence, unrelated events and various oddities. I don’t know whether the purpose of “The Goatboy Show” is to see how far I can be pushed until I snap and try to off myself, or simply to provide sadistic entertainment for brainless cow people watching me 24/7 at home.
I’ll post more “Nah, that wouldn’t happen in real life” moments as I think of them.
I’m off for a smoke and it’s probably time for a commercial break.
For those of you that haven't, it's about a guy that lives in a nice perfect town with a perfect wife, decent job and a nice house. Everything is A-OK.
Except he's the start of the biggest tv show on the planet, he just doesnt know it. The whole town is a set, his wife is an actor, as are his family, friends and every single person in Seahaven.
He's continually filmed, has been since he's a baby. For the entertainment of others.
Today it hit me, I believe the exact same thing is happening to me. It's the only explanation for what has been, to put it politely, an odd life.
Events and circumstances that at the time struck me (and still does) as odd, but make perfect sense if you realise that I’m in the middle of the most bizarre television experiment ever.
A quick rundown of moments I remember, things that have happened and events that give weight to some higher power pulling my strings for the amusement of others. You call this person “god”, I call it “The Network”.
Went to work for a newspaper because I wanted to do journalism. Ended up being shunted into sales. Rented my 1st place by myself, took 2 weeks off to move in. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job.
(flash forward a year)
Went on holiday to The States for 2 weeks. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job
(flash forward 3 years)
Going on holiday in Jan for 2 weeks to move into a new place. I’m taking bets on what will happen when I come back on the 1st day back.
The job I’m in, the one I went for and got after getting sacked on my 1st day back from The States?
Was supposed to be a 3 week temp position, got asked to stay. Told them I was crap but they wanted me anyway. Continually foul up things, spend most of my day on the internet and things I wish would occur (boob flashing, lesbian kisses, promotion and mo’ money) seem to happen without rhyme or reason. This is despite my continual “Look, I suck at this job” statements to my boss. My last boss here complained about me, said I was surly, unhelpful and a slacker. It went to a written warning in front of the “board”.
What happened? I got promoted, moved into Marketing and she had a loaf of accounts taken away from her.
Bought a brand new car. Under warranty? Fine. 1st day the warranty expires? Head Gasket blows, screws engine and I need to buy a complete replacement engine. The very day it’s not covered by warranty.
Worry about where the money will come from to pay for engine. The morning I’m due to go to the bank, I discover I’m owed almost £1,000 in back taxes. Oddly, the very amount it’ll cost to fix the car.
Take ex-girlfriend to an audition one day. Wait outside in car as usual. After 90 mins, my teeth are floating and I need a pee. Go into studios, spy a drumkit. Studio owner asks if I play. “Why yes”.
I play for 20 mins. He tells me a duo are looking for a drummer. I refuse, only there to take missus for an audition. I leave my number out of politeness. Singer phones me for 2 weeks whilst I dodge his calls, not interested. Decide to finally meet to get him off my back. They give me a CD that I think is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. Find myself in Parker. In Parker because I happened to take a girlfriend to that particular studio on that particular day and happened to need a pee at that exact moment. The same exact moment the studio owner is visiting (apparently he only comes in every month or so to check up on things), the same exact moment he asks if I want to play on his kit – he is very possessive and never lets anybody play it.
Yet on that day, that man and that moment he just decided to.
Out with friends, offer to pay for meal. Card declined. Find out somebody has obtained my details and sent me £3,000 overdrawn. Find out where purchases were made, contact owner. Get name and address of bloke that did it, complete with signed delivery note. Take note & name to Police.
Police lose my details. Take all evidence again next day.
Police lose my details again.
Repeat journey with details.
Police do not contact me for 5 weeks, then say “We cant find the original report”
Bank replaces money.
Card declined at garage today. Contact bank. Account perfectly respectable, bank decides to cancel my card because they thought fraudulent activity may have been going on. Didn’t contact me, just cancelled the card. When asked why they didn’t do this when I had my money taken, they umm and err and hang up on me.
All moments (and there are hundreds more) that make me stop and think “Hang on a minute, something’s up”.
I don’t know what it is, but something’s amiss. The above are only a tiny few of literally hundreds of things that happen to me. Bizarre coincidence, unrelated events and various oddities. I don’t know whether the purpose of “The Goatboy Show” is to see how far I can be pushed until I snap and try to off myself, or simply to provide sadistic entertainment for brainless cow people watching me 24/7 at home.
I’ll post more “Nah, that wouldn’t happen in real life” moments as I think of them.
I’m off for a smoke and it’s probably time for a commercial break.
Page:
More oddities, birthday related:
My sister's is April
I'm May
Dad is June
Mum is July
My best mate's birthday is 2 days before mine.
And all the Parker boys have birthdays in the last 2 weeks of May.
Complete strangers I met by chance (?) and we all have birthdays within 14 days of each other.
My sister's is April
I'm May
Dad is June
Mum is July
My best mate's birthday is 2 days before mine.
And all the Parker boys have birthdays in the last 2 weeks of May.
Complete strangers I met by chance (?) and we all have birthdays within 14 days of each other.
:0D
And yeah, Wookiee, they have. :0)
And yeah, Wookiee, they have. :0)
Least your life is interesting
It's actually quite weird all that stuff
It's actually quite weird all that stuff
Workwise it just seems that no matter what I do, it never affects me negatively.
I forget to put projects onto the system for samples needed, these are multi-million pound contracts that rely on recieving the samples.
And what are the consequences of Goatboy's negligence?
Nothing. Two raises in 3 years and a move into a dept I enjoy.
Where I type here and other forums all day long.
And smoke.
And get two women to kiss for my entertainment.
And see somebody ask for "Man Milk"
It's a huge programme that I'm the star of. If it was a movie, I'd have walked out hours ago thinking "Ok, suspension of disbelief is one thing but this is pushing it too far"
Things just happen. Good *and* bad, but however bleak things seem? Something rides in at the last second and rescues me.
Or just when things seem too good to be true? Something comes along and blows it out of the water.
It's never simple, even-keeled, no event life that I hear about from so many other people.
I'm 29, moving into my new place in Jan with (another example of being set-up for entertainment purposes):
A girl that downloads lesbian porno, loves Clutch and Queens of The Stone Age, smokes like a chimney, is a movie-geek like me, used to live on the same estate as me as a kid (yet we met throught coincidence) and thinks the PS2 is one of the best inventions ever. And she's fitter than your bird.
*scratches head*
I just dont get it.
---
Another example of weirdness "Goatboy Show" chance:
Agency job at Transco. Meet a guy there I get on with really well. Never met him before this job in my life.
He invites me to his place for beers and movie evening.
Turns out he lives in the same flat I was born in.
I swear on my mother's life - this dude lives in the exact same flat I was born in.
Coincidence?
I forget to put projects onto the system for samples needed, these are multi-million pound contracts that rely on recieving the samples.
And what are the consequences of Goatboy's negligence?
Nothing. Two raises in 3 years and a move into a dept I enjoy.
Where I type here and other forums all day long.
And smoke.
And get two women to kiss for my entertainment.
And see somebody ask for "Man Milk"
It's a huge programme that I'm the star of. If it was a movie, I'd have walked out hours ago thinking "Ok, suspension of disbelief is one thing but this is pushing it too far"
Things just happen. Good *and* bad, but however bleak things seem? Something rides in at the last second and rescues me.
Or just when things seem too good to be true? Something comes along and blows it out of the water.
It's never simple, even-keeled, no event life that I hear about from so many other people.
I'm 29, moving into my new place in Jan with (another example of being set-up for entertainment purposes):
A girl that downloads lesbian porno, loves Clutch and Queens of The Stone Age, smokes like a chimney, is a movie-geek like me, used to live on the same estate as me as a kid (yet we met throught coincidence) and thinks the PS2 is one of the best inventions ever. And she's fitter than your bird.
*scratches head*
I just dont get it.
---
Another example of weirdness "Goatboy Show" chance:
Agency job at Transco. Meet a guy there I get on with really well. Never met him before this job in my life.
He invites me to his place for beers and movie evening.
Turns out he lives in the same flat I was born in.
I swear on my mother's life - this dude lives in the exact same flat I was born in.
Coincidence?
Scary stuff
I ger paid a fortune to sit and type here all day
I ger paid a fortune to sit and type here all day
Grix Thraves wrote:
> I don't -really- believe it, but it's a fun thing to have. :0)
Anyone ever told you, you're... odd?
> I don't -really- believe it, but it's a fun thing to have. :0)
Anyone ever told you, you're... odd?
Fascinating.
I get that too - but not, I admit, to the same extent.
I get that too - but not, I admit, to the same extent.
:0D
I have a little theory. I imagine an infinite number of parallel dimensions where there's me doing exactly the same thing as I'm doing now. However, something happens, just one thing, that manages to kill me in another dimension. When this happens, I get this strange shudder right through my body for no real reason. I reckon when I shudder, I just died in another dimension.
Sometimes it happens when I'm lying in bed, sometimes it happens when I'm travelling, crossing a road, playing with matches, stupid stuff.
I don't -really- believe it, but it's a fun thing to have. :0)
I have a little theory. I imagine an infinite number of parallel dimensions where there's me doing exactly the same thing as I'm doing now. However, something happens, just one thing, that manages to kill me in another dimension. When this happens, I get this strange shudder right through my body for no real reason. I reckon when I shudder, I just died in another dimension.
Sometimes it happens when I'm lying in bed, sometimes it happens when I'm travelling, crossing a road, playing with matches, stupid stuff.
I don't -really- believe it, but it's a fun thing to have. :0)
Naah mate, it's purely coincidental. It's just 'gods way'.
(heh heh heh)
(heh heh heh)
Ever seen The Truman Show?
For those of you that haven't, it's about a guy that lives in a nice perfect town with a perfect wife, decent job and a nice house. Everything is A-OK.
Except he's the start of the biggest tv show on the planet, he just doesnt know it. The whole town is a set, his wife is an actor, as are his family, friends and every single person in Seahaven.
He's continually filmed, has been since he's a baby. For the entertainment of others.
Today it hit me, I believe the exact same thing is happening to me. It's the only explanation for what has been, to put it politely, an odd life.
Events and circumstances that at the time struck me (and still does) as odd, but make perfect sense if you realise that I’m in the middle of the most bizarre television experiment ever.
A quick rundown of moments I remember, things that have happened and events that give weight to some higher power pulling my strings for the amusement of others. You call this person “god”, I call it “The Network”.
Went to work for a newspaper because I wanted to do journalism. Ended up being shunted into sales. Rented my 1st place by myself, took 2 weeks off to move in. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job.
(flash forward a year)
Went on holiday to The States for 2 weeks. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job
(flash forward 3 years)
Going on holiday in Jan for 2 weeks to move into a new place. I’m taking bets on what will happen when I come back on the 1st day back.
The job I’m in, the one I went for and got after getting sacked on my 1st day back from The States?
Was supposed to be a 3 week temp position, got asked to stay. Told them I was crap but they wanted me anyway. Continually foul up things, spend most of my day on the internet and things I wish would occur (boob flashing, lesbian kisses, promotion and mo’ money) seem to happen without rhyme or reason. This is despite my continual “Look, I suck at this job” statements to my boss. My last boss here complained about me, said I was surly, unhelpful and a slacker. It went to a written warning in front of the “board”.
What happened? I got promoted, moved into Marketing and she had a loaf of accounts taken away from her.
Bought a brand new car. Under warranty? Fine. 1st day the warranty expires? Head Gasket blows, screws engine and I need to buy a complete replacement engine. The very day it’s not covered by warranty.
Worry about where the money will come from to pay for engine. The morning I’m due to go to the bank, I discover I’m owed almost £1,000 in back taxes. Oddly, the very amount it’ll cost to fix the car.
Take ex-girlfriend to an audition one day. Wait outside in car as usual. After 90 mins, my teeth are floating and I need a pee. Go into studios, spy a drumkit. Studio owner asks if I play. “Why yes”.
I play for 20 mins. He tells me a duo are looking for a drummer. I refuse, only there to take missus for an audition. I leave my number out of politeness. Singer phones me for 2 weeks whilst I dodge his calls, not interested. Decide to finally meet to get him off my back. They give me a CD that I think is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. Find myself in Parker. In Parker because I happened to take a girlfriend to that particular studio on that particular day and happened to need a pee at that exact moment. The same exact moment the studio owner is visiting (apparently he only comes in every month or so to check up on things), the same exact moment he asks if I want to play on his kit – he is very possessive and never lets anybody play it.
Yet on that day, that man and that moment he just decided to.
Out with friends, offer to pay for meal. Card declined. Find out somebody has obtained my details and sent me £3,000 overdrawn. Find out where purchases were made, contact owner. Get name and address of bloke that did it, complete with signed delivery note. Take note & name to Police.
Police lose my details. Take all evidence again next day.
Police lose my details again.
Repeat journey with details.
Police do not contact me for 5 weeks, then say “We cant find the original report”
Bank replaces money.
Card declined at garage today. Contact bank. Account perfectly respectable, bank decides to cancel my card because they thought fraudulent activity may have been going on. Didn’t contact me, just cancelled the card. When asked why they didn’t do this when I had my money taken, they umm and err and hang up on me.
All moments (and there are hundreds more) that make me stop and think “Hang on a minute, something’s up”.
I don’t know what it is, but something’s amiss. The above are only a tiny few of literally hundreds of things that happen to me. Bizarre coincidence, unrelated events and various oddities. I don’t know whether the purpose of “The Goatboy Show” is to see how far I can be pushed until I snap and try to off myself, or simply to provide sadistic entertainment for brainless cow people watching me 24/7 at home.
I’ll post more “Nah, that wouldn’t happen in real life” moments as I think of them.
I’m off for a smoke and it’s probably time for a commercial break.
For those of you that haven't, it's about a guy that lives in a nice perfect town with a perfect wife, decent job and a nice house. Everything is A-OK.
Except he's the start of the biggest tv show on the planet, he just doesnt know it. The whole town is a set, his wife is an actor, as are his family, friends and every single person in Seahaven.
He's continually filmed, has been since he's a baby. For the entertainment of others.
Today it hit me, I believe the exact same thing is happening to me. It's the only explanation for what has been, to put it politely, an odd life.
Events and circumstances that at the time struck me (and still does) as odd, but make perfect sense if you realise that I’m in the middle of the most bizarre television experiment ever.
A quick rundown of moments I remember, things that have happened and events that give weight to some higher power pulling my strings for the amusement of others. You call this person “god”, I call it “The Network”.
Went to work for a newspaper because I wanted to do journalism. Ended up being shunted into sales. Rented my 1st place by myself, took 2 weeks off to move in. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job.
(flash forward a year)
Went on holiday to The States for 2 weeks. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job
(flash forward 3 years)
Going on holiday in Jan for 2 weeks to move into a new place. I’m taking bets on what will happen when I come back on the 1st day back.
The job I’m in, the one I went for and got after getting sacked on my 1st day back from The States?
Was supposed to be a 3 week temp position, got asked to stay. Told them I was crap but they wanted me anyway. Continually foul up things, spend most of my day on the internet and things I wish would occur (boob flashing, lesbian kisses, promotion and mo’ money) seem to happen without rhyme or reason. This is despite my continual “Look, I suck at this job” statements to my boss. My last boss here complained about me, said I was surly, unhelpful and a slacker. It went to a written warning in front of the “board”.
What happened? I got promoted, moved into Marketing and she had a loaf of accounts taken away from her.
Bought a brand new car. Under warranty? Fine. 1st day the warranty expires? Head Gasket blows, screws engine and I need to buy a complete replacement engine. The very day it’s not covered by warranty.
Worry about where the money will come from to pay for engine. The morning I’m due to go to the bank, I discover I’m owed almost £1,000 in back taxes. Oddly, the very amount it’ll cost to fix the car.
Take ex-girlfriend to an audition one day. Wait outside in car as usual. After 90 mins, my teeth are floating and I need a pee. Go into studios, spy a drumkit. Studio owner asks if I play. “Why yes”.
I play for 20 mins. He tells me a duo are looking for a drummer. I refuse, only there to take missus for an audition. I leave my number out of politeness. Singer phones me for 2 weeks whilst I dodge his calls, not interested. Decide to finally meet to get him off my back. They give me a CD that I think is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. Find myself in Parker. In Parker because I happened to take a girlfriend to that particular studio on that particular day and happened to need a pee at that exact moment. The same exact moment the studio owner is visiting (apparently he only comes in every month or so to check up on things), the same exact moment he asks if I want to play on his kit – he is very possessive and never lets anybody play it.
Yet on that day, that man and that moment he just decided to.
Out with friends, offer to pay for meal. Card declined. Find out somebody has obtained my details and sent me £3,000 overdrawn. Find out where purchases were made, contact owner. Get name and address of bloke that did it, complete with signed delivery note. Take note & name to Police.
Police lose my details. Take all evidence again next day.
Police lose my details again.
Repeat journey with details.
Police do not contact me for 5 weeks, then say “We cant find the original report”
Bank replaces money.
Card declined at garage today. Contact bank. Account perfectly respectable, bank decides to cancel my card because they thought fraudulent activity may have been going on. Didn’t contact me, just cancelled the card. When asked why they didn’t do this when I had my money taken, they umm and err and hang up on me.
All moments (and there are hundreds more) that make me stop and think “Hang on a minute, something’s up”.
I don’t know what it is, but something’s amiss. The above are only a tiny few of literally hundreds of things that happen to me. Bizarre coincidence, unrelated events and various oddities. I don’t know whether the purpose of “The Goatboy Show” is to see how far I can be pushed until I snap and try to off myself, or simply to provide sadistic entertainment for brainless cow people watching me 24/7 at home.
I’ll post more “Nah, that wouldn’t happen in real life” moments as I think of them.
I’m off for a smoke and it’s probably time for a commercial break.
Page: