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"The Goatboy Show"

Ever seen The Truman Show?
For those of you that haven't, it's about a guy that lives in a nice perfect town with a perfect wife, decent job and a nice house. Everything is A-OK.
Except he's the start of the biggest tv show on the planet, he just doesnt know it. The whole town is a set, his wife is an actor, as are his family, friends and every single person in Seahaven.
He's continually filmed, has been since he's a baby. For the entertainment of others.
Today it hit me, I believe the exact same thing is happening to me. It's the only explanation for what has been, to put it politely, an odd life.
Events and circumstances that at the time struck me (and still does) as odd, but make perfect sense if you realise that I’m in the middle of the most bizarre television experiment ever.
A quick rundown of moments I remember, things that have happened and events that give weight to some higher power pulling my strings for the amusement of others. You call this person “god”, I call it “The Network”.

Went to work for a newspaper because I wanted to do journalism. Ended up being shunted into sales. Rented my 1st place by myself, took 2 weeks off to move in. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job.
(flash forward a year)
Went on holiday to The States for 2 weeks. Came back and got fired on the 1st day back for stuff that happened whilst I wasn’t even there. Went to agency that afternoon, and lo and behold they have an interview for that very day. I get the interview and get the job
(flash forward 3 years)
Going on holiday in Jan for 2 weeks to move into a new place. I’m taking bets on what will happen when I come back on the 1st day back.

The job I’m in, the one I went for and got after getting sacked on my 1st day back from The States?
Was supposed to be a 3 week temp position, got asked to stay. Told them I was crap but they wanted me anyway. Continually foul up things, spend most of my day on the internet and things I wish would occur (boob flashing, lesbian kisses, promotion and mo’ money) seem to happen without rhyme or reason. This is despite my continual “Look, I suck at this job” statements to my boss. My last boss here complained about me, said I was surly, unhelpful and a slacker. It went to a written warning in front of the “board”.
What happened? I got promoted, moved into Marketing and she had a loaf of accounts taken away from her.

Bought a brand new car. Under warranty? Fine. 1st day the warranty expires? Head Gasket blows, screws engine and I need to buy a complete replacement engine. The very day it’s not covered by warranty.
Worry about where the money will come from to pay for engine. The morning I’m due to go to the bank, I discover I’m owed almost £1,000 in back taxes. Oddly, the very amount it’ll cost to fix the car.

Take ex-girlfriend to an audition one day. Wait outside in car as usual. After 90 mins, my teeth are floating and I need a pee. Go into studios, spy a drumkit. Studio owner asks if I play. “Why yes”.
I play for 20 mins. He tells me a duo are looking for a drummer. I refuse, only there to take missus for an audition. I leave my number out of politeness. Singer phones me for 2 weeks whilst I dodge his calls, not interested. Decide to finally meet to get him off my back. They give me a CD that I think is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. Find myself in Parker. In Parker because I happened to take a girlfriend to that particular studio on that particular day and happened to need a pee at that exact moment. The same exact moment the studio owner is visiting (apparently he only comes in every month or so to check up on things), the same exact moment he asks if I want to play on his kit – he is very possessive and never lets anybody play it.
Yet on that day, that man and that moment he just decided to.

Out with friends, offer to pay for meal. Card declined. Find out somebody has obtained my details and sent me £3,000 overdrawn. Find out where purchases were made, contact owner. Get name and address of bloke that did it, complete with signed delivery note. Take note & name to Police.
Police lose my details. Take all evidence again next day.
Police lose my details again.
Repeat journey with details.
Police do not contact me for 5 weeks, then say “We cant find the original report”
Bank replaces money.
Card declined at garage today. Contact bank. Account perfectly respectable, bank decides to cancel my card because they thought fraudulent activity may have been going on. Didn’t contact me, just cancelled the card. When asked why they didn’t do this when I had my money taken, they umm and err and hang up on me.

All moments (and there are hundreds more) that make me stop and think “Hang on a minute, something’s up”.
I don’t know what it is, but something’s amiss. The above are only a tiny few of literally hundreds of things that happen to me. Bizarre coincidence, unrelated events and various oddities. I don’t know whether the purpose of “The Goatboy Show” is to see how far I can be pushed until I snap and try to off myself, or simply to provide sadistic entertainment for brainless cow people watching me 24/7 at home.
I’ll post more “Nah, that wouldn’t happen in real life” moments as I think of them.
I’m off for a smoke and it’s probably time for a commercial break.

I've had this feeling too in the past.

Things just seem to have worked out too well.

As an example, I didn't plan to go to University, even though I'd applied, but then an offer comes through the door from a different Uni, so I just go, just like that.

On the day I start looking for somewhere to live with my girlfriend, soon to be wife, my Dad receives a letter to say his tennants are moving out in a week, so I can move in there.

Stuff just seems to happen at the right time, and sometimes I swear it's for the benefit of those watching.

Besides Goatboy, if this were a TV show, we'd have to all be in on it, and you trust us, don't you.....? ;o)

Well, some people are just damn lucky like that

My dad and his mum in law (my nan) have the same birthday 1st of January...one in a million....Lol

(:)

I agree

Argh the music won't stop

Oddities? *sniggers*


Anyway... :D My birthday is on the 5th August, while my brother's is on the 6th. Nothing very special, really. Although I do have friends who's birthdays are on the 3rd and 4th too.

*yawns*

I can't help but read this thread with the them to The Twilight Zone running through my head.

I used to work at Halfords, and in every branch of Halfords they have a credit card machine with a working phone on it. The only purpose of this phone is that sometimes the VISA people call you in the middle of a transaction to check up on some stuff. It was also a proper landline, but no-one knew the number for it and if you dialed out from it you got in big trouble the next day.

I was in one evening, down the back of the shop, when the machines phone rang, as it occasionally does (usually a wrong number). The cashier girl picked it up, I heard some talking for a bit, then "Steve, it's for you! Some girl called Julia?"

Julia was a girl my whole life used to revolve around (nothing ever came of it )O: , and because my m8 who knew was also floating around the till area, I instantly knew it was a windup. I picked up the receiver, and said "Hello?", playing along.

and Julia answered.


We worked out later that she'd dialled my home number, which was 464160. Except she'd read it off a piece of paper written by someone else as 464169 by mistake - which turned out to be the number for the card machine :o

You cant make this stuff up, it wouldnt be odd/funny otherwise

My dad's birthday is 25th December.

My mum's is April 1st.

No joking.

Mine is July 30th. Nothing special, apart from the 'priviledge' of sharing the day with David Hasselhoff. Apparently.

Dad's Birthday - 13th Jan
Childhood Best Friends birthday - 14th Jan
My birthday - 15th Jan
Ex-girlfriends birthday - 16th Jan

I win