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Please write any jokes you know in here. I'll start us off:
When the Americans went up to space for the first time they discovered that biros didn't work. So they spent 7 years and $12,000,000,000 creating a biro that would write in space.
The Russians used a pencil.
When the Americans went up to space for the first time they discovered that biros didn't work. So they spent 7 years and $12,000,000,000 creating a biro that would write in space.
The Russians used a pencil.
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Please write any jokes you know in here. I'll start us off:
When the Americans went up to space for the first time they discovered that biros didn't work. So they spent 7 years and $12,000,000,000 creating a biro that would write in space.
The Russians used a pencil.
When the Americans went up to space for the first time they discovered that biros didn't work. So they spent 7 years and $12,000,000,000 creating a biro that would write in space.
The Russians used a pencil.
Oh please reply you nasty kerfuffels!
what is the difference between a slice of bread and a frenchman?
answer......you can make a soldier out of a slice of bread.......ha ha
answer......you can make a soldier out of a slice of bread.......ha ha
1)
Q - What do Micheal Jackson and a Tesco bag have in common?
A - They're both made of plastic, white and not safe around children
2)
Q - What do you see when a blonde does cartwheels?
A - Blonde, Brunet, Blonde, Brunet, Blonde, Brunet
3) There are three blondes on one side of the Grand Canyon. As all three of them ponder how to get across a magic genie appears!. This gennie says I'll split the three wishes between you so what are they? The first blonde asks for a paraglider but doesn't make it, the second asks for a fast car to zoom over but also doesn't make it so finally the last one says "I wish I was a red head!" and she walks across the bridge.
Q - What do Micheal Jackson and a Tesco bag have in common?
A - They're both made of plastic, white and not safe around children
2)
Q - What do you see when a blonde does cartwheels?
A - Blonde, Brunet, Blonde, Brunet, Blonde, Brunet
3) There are three blondes on one side of the Grand Canyon. As all three of them ponder how to get across a magic genie appears!. This gennie says I'll split the three wishes between you so what are they? The first blonde asks for a paraglider but doesn't make it, the second asks for a fast car to zoom over but also doesn't make it so finally the last one says "I wish I was a red head!" and she walks across the bridge.
There were 3 men working on a bridge. There was one Englishman, one Scotsman and one Irishman.
It was thier lunchbreak so they sat down and opened their sandwiches. The Englishman opened his sandwiches and found a ham sandwich. he said " if I have ham sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge". Then the Scotsman opens his sandwiches and finds turkey. he says " If I have turkey sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge". Then the Irishman opens his sandwiches and finds pickle. He says "if I have pickle sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge'.
So the next day, at lunchbreak they all sit down and open thier sandwiches. The Englishman has ham again, so he jumps off the bridge. The Scotsman has turkey again so he jumps off the bridge. The Irishman has pickle again, so he too jumps off the bridge. All 3 men die.
Then after the deaths, their wives are being interviewed. The Englishman's wife says, "I don't understand, I thought he liked ham sandwiches"
The Scotsman's wife says," But I always thought he liked turkey sandwiches". Then it's the Irishman's wife turn. She says, " I don't understand, he makes his own sandwiches"!
It was thier lunchbreak so they sat down and opened their sandwiches. The Englishman opened his sandwiches and found a ham sandwich. he said " if I have ham sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge". Then the Scotsman opens his sandwiches and finds turkey. he says " If I have turkey sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge". Then the Irishman opens his sandwiches and finds pickle. He says "if I have pickle sandwiches one more time i'll jump off this bridge'.
So the next day, at lunchbreak they all sit down and open thier sandwiches. The Englishman has ham again, so he jumps off the bridge. The Scotsman has turkey again so he jumps off the bridge. The Irishman has pickle again, so he too jumps off the bridge. All 3 men die.
Then after the deaths, their wives are being interviewed. The Englishman's wife says, "I don't understand, I thought he liked ham sandwiches"
The Scotsman's wife says," But I always thought he liked turkey sandwiches". Then it's the Irishman's wife turn. She says, " I don't understand, he makes his own sandwiches"!
How do you fit 5 donkeys on a fire engine?
2 in the back , 2 in the front and one on the top shoutting "EEEE AAAAW EEE AAW" (like a fire engine)
2 in the back , 2 in the front and one on the top shoutting "EEEE AAAAW EEE AAW" (like a fire engine)
bitterlout wrote:
> what is the difference between a slice of bread and a frenchman?
> answer......you can make a soldier out of a slice of bread.......ha ha
Have u heard about the new french flag???
Its a white cross against a white backround!!
> what is the difference between a slice of bread and a frenchman?
> answer......you can make a soldier out of a slice of bread.......ha ha
Have u heard about the new french flag???
Its a white cross against a white backround!!
?
Bush's Tragedy
One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.''
"Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!"
The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"
A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"
The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"
A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"
"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"
"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"
One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.''
"Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!"
The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"
A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"
The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"
A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"
"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"
"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"
Fishtobeking wrote:
> Bush's Tragedy
>
> One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids
> were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them
> and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.''
> "Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog,
> Rover, that would be a tragedy!"
>
> The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie.
> That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"
>
> A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I
> know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed
> everyone!"
>
> The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a
> great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"
>
>
> A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if
> you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and
> blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a
> tragedy!"
>
> "Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for
> that answer?"
>
> "Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it
> sure would not be a great loss!"
Just re-read this and it ain't that good. Sorry to waste your time if you read this.
> Bush's Tragedy
>
> One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids
> were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them
> and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.''
> "Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog,
> Rover, that would be a tragedy!"
>
> The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie.
> That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"
>
> A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I
> know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed
> everyone!"
>
> The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a
> great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"
>
>
> A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if
> you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and
> blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a
> tragedy!"
>
> "Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for
> that answer?"
>
> "Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it
> sure would not be a great loss!"
Just re-read this and it ain't that good. Sorry to waste your time if you read this.
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