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"He felt bad. For an hour."

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Mon 02/09/02 at 21:51
Regular
Posts: 787
He felt bad because he didn’t feel bad.
Does that make sense? I’ll explain if you have a couple of minutes, it’s not much to spare to sum up a few years of his life.

He did everything for her, because that’s what he thought you did for someone you loved. Without asking or question he would take her places, wait for hours whilst she pursued her dreams.
He lost count the number of times he had driven over there at 3am when she needed someone to tell her how special she was.
He surrendered totally to her.
And all the time, he refused to see how stupid he was. He couldn’t see how he was getting played.
He ate so much of himself you would laugh at him if you didn’t pity him so much. But he thought this was the real deal, he genuinely couldn’t see beyond his own view.

He let himself be told, time and time again, how he could improve himself. How he could be a better man, how he could be more productive and achieve more.
The oddest thing though, he was happy being him.
But it got so he didn’t know who he was supposed to be anymore.

Then one day, the worst and best thing happened at the same time. He was condemned to his prison of wounded-ego yet set free from the very things that upset him (only he couldn’t see it right at that moment).
And he played the bad-man role so well he ended up feeling guilty they had split, even though it wasn’t his decision.
He begged and pleaded for her to change her mind, but she pinched her lip and told him how it had taken her so long to reach this decision.
Like that was supposed to help him I guess?
So he went back to this room and wrote many heavy and important things to try and explain to himself just why he felt bad about the split.
Then it hit him:
He didn’t feel bad at all.
Oh sure, he felt lonely, but that passes.

He felt happy because he could just get on with the things that made him happy, the things that made her unhappy.
Only that was the moment she decided she had made a mistake and wanted him back.
But he didn’t want that.
But he had been played so well that he felt bad about not wanting to get back to her.
Can you imagine that?
This man felt like the guilty party because he had been dumped?

He laughed at the absurdity of the whole thing. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to phone her and let her get really emotional about wanting to reunite.
He wanted to hear her at her most vulnerable and open.
And he wanted to laugh and hang up on her.
But he was good, he continued to take her calls and listen to her regrets and he mouthed sympathy noises.

And as soon as he was off the phone to her?
He was on the phone to another girl.
He was being exactly who he wanted to be with this one.
He was in control, this one didn’t have his number so she couldn’t call him.
She emailed him a couple of times a day – flirtatious and amusing contacts.
And he liked this, because it was still at the stage where you looked forward to hearing this one on the phone, imagining what it will be like when you hook up.
And he enjoyed it all the more because he knew exactly where this was headed – nowhere deep and meaningful.

The first one had been interesting enough to talk to
Nothing in common but let’s be honest here for a moment
If you think you’re going to get laid then you’ll fake interest in anything
Anyone that says different is a liar or Jesus H Christ himself
So they did it (you want a poem about love? Go read Keats)
And afterwards he stopped calling her and moved on
The next one seemed ok
They spent two weekends together and she gave him the whole rap
About how she was still trying to get rid of her ex-husband and blah blah
And he decided he didn’t want to deal with that emotional anchor
So he told her
And she got mad at him, phoned and texted him all hours calling him names
So what did he do? Did he accept these insults and agree?
Yeah right, I’ll tell you what happened
He phoned her and showed her what true anger was
She stopped calling

The third seemed like a winner
She was intelligent, attractive and independent
And after 2 weeks she went back to her ex
She hoped he didn’t mind and wasn’t upset
He told her he wasn’t and to have a nice life
The fourth was the most recent
She was happy, bubbly and very fit
He ran through the script and they got it on
She then felt confused about what had happened and
“I didn’t mean for it to go that far that quick”

And he laughed to himself
It’s not like she didn’t know what she was doing
She was more than willing and extremely able
But he knew what it was that bugged her
She wasn’t honest with herself about life
She felt guilty for enjoying sex without a relationship of months
He had not needed to convince her to shed her clothes
She asked him to stay, not the other way round
He had provided her with the excuse for enjoying herself
And she took it, as she should do
Except then she got that whole guilt thing
She ran that whole “Not looking for anything serious” schtick to him
And he agreed 100%
She wanted time to “sort her head out”
He had already deleted her number from his phone and replaced it

Don’t get mad my friend or think I’m treating them like objects
Not once have I done anything other than be a willing participant
And I’ve been nothing but honest with them all
They say they want the same thing
Until they get it, and then they get confused feel angry at themselves
For just enjoying life and themselves with someone
But that’s life I suppose
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to arrange Wednesday night
With one from last Friday

Honestly, you’d think it would be harder than this to bag them
But it’s not
You just have to be confident enough to know that underneath that make-up
Underneath that attractive face and admiring glances from other men in the pub
Is a person that just wants to be told how special they are
Do that with a straight face and you’re sorted.
Of course you’ll call me shallow and heartless
But as far as I can see, everyone does it
Just not everyone admits it
Mon 02/09/02 at 21:51
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
He felt bad because he didn’t feel bad.
Does that make sense? I’ll explain if you have a couple of minutes, it’s not much to spare to sum up a few years of his life.

He did everything for her, because that’s what he thought you did for someone you loved. Without asking or question he would take her places, wait for hours whilst she pursued her dreams.
He lost count the number of times he had driven over there at 3am when she needed someone to tell her how special she was.
He surrendered totally to her.
And all the time, he refused to see how stupid he was. He couldn’t see how he was getting played.
He ate so much of himself you would laugh at him if you didn’t pity him so much. But he thought this was the real deal, he genuinely couldn’t see beyond his own view.

He let himself be told, time and time again, how he could improve himself. How he could be a better man, how he could be more productive and achieve more.
The oddest thing though, he was happy being him.
But it got so he didn’t know who he was supposed to be anymore.

Then one day, the worst and best thing happened at the same time. He was condemned to his prison of wounded-ego yet set free from the very things that upset him (only he couldn’t see it right at that moment).
And he played the bad-man role so well he ended up feeling guilty they had split, even though it wasn’t his decision.
He begged and pleaded for her to change her mind, but she pinched her lip and told him how it had taken her so long to reach this decision.
Like that was supposed to help him I guess?
So he went back to this room and wrote many heavy and important things to try and explain to himself just why he felt bad about the split.
Then it hit him:
He didn’t feel bad at all.
Oh sure, he felt lonely, but that passes.

He felt happy because he could just get on with the things that made him happy, the things that made her unhappy.
Only that was the moment she decided she had made a mistake and wanted him back.
But he didn’t want that.
But he had been played so well that he felt bad about not wanting to get back to her.
Can you imagine that?
This man felt like the guilty party because he had been dumped?

He laughed at the absurdity of the whole thing. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to phone her and let her get really emotional about wanting to reunite.
He wanted to hear her at her most vulnerable and open.
And he wanted to laugh and hang up on her.
But he was good, he continued to take her calls and listen to her regrets and he mouthed sympathy noises.

And as soon as he was off the phone to her?
He was on the phone to another girl.
He was being exactly who he wanted to be with this one.
He was in control, this one didn’t have his number so she couldn’t call him.
She emailed him a couple of times a day – flirtatious and amusing contacts.
And he liked this, because it was still at the stage where you looked forward to hearing this one on the phone, imagining what it will be like when you hook up.
And he enjoyed it all the more because he knew exactly where this was headed – nowhere deep and meaningful.

The first one had been interesting enough to talk to
Nothing in common but let’s be honest here for a moment
If you think you’re going to get laid then you’ll fake interest in anything
Anyone that says different is a liar or Jesus H Christ himself
So they did it (you want a poem about love? Go read Keats)
And afterwards he stopped calling her and moved on
The next one seemed ok
They spent two weekends together and she gave him the whole rap
About how she was still trying to get rid of her ex-husband and blah blah
And he decided he didn’t want to deal with that emotional anchor
So he told her
And she got mad at him, phoned and texted him all hours calling him names
So what did he do? Did he accept these insults and agree?
Yeah right, I’ll tell you what happened
He phoned her and showed her what true anger was
She stopped calling

The third seemed like a winner
She was intelligent, attractive and independent
And after 2 weeks she went back to her ex
She hoped he didn’t mind and wasn’t upset
He told her he wasn’t and to have a nice life
The fourth was the most recent
She was happy, bubbly and very fit
He ran through the script and they got it on
She then felt confused about what had happened and
“I didn’t mean for it to go that far that quick”

And he laughed to himself
It’s not like she didn’t know what she was doing
She was more than willing and extremely able
But he knew what it was that bugged her
She wasn’t honest with herself about life
She felt guilty for enjoying sex without a relationship of months
He had not needed to convince her to shed her clothes
She asked him to stay, not the other way round
He had provided her with the excuse for enjoying herself
And she took it, as she should do
Except then she got that whole guilt thing
She ran that whole “Not looking for anything serious” schtick to him
And he agreed 100%
She wanted time to “sort her head out”
He had already deleted her number from his phone and replaced it

Don’t get mad my friend or think I’m treating them like objects
Not once have I done anything other than be a willing participant
And I’ve been nothing but honest with them all
They say they want the same thing
Until they get it, and then they get confused feel angry at themselves
For just enjoying life and themselves with someone
But that’s life I suppose
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to arrange Wednesday night
With one from last Friday

Honestly, you’d think it would be harder than this to bag them
But it’s not
You just have to be confident enough to know that underneath that make-up
Underneath that attractive face and admiring glances from other men in the pub
Is a person that just wants to be told how special they are
Do that with a straight face and you’re sorted.
Of course you’ll call me shallow and heartless
But as far as I can see, everyone does it
Just not everyone admits it
Mon 02/09/02 at 22:16
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Goatboy wrote:

> He did everything for her, because that’s what he thought you did for
> someone you loved. Without asking or question he would take her
> places, wait for hours whilst she pursued her dreams.

See, this was wrong. I'm glad you see it now, but don't ever forget it.

If you find yourself doing the relationship thing again, and no doubt at some point in the next 30 years you will, remember it's not all give.

Anyway, nothing wrong with being honest, honest with them, honest with yourself. Funny how rare it is.
Tue 03/09/02 at 03:05
Regular
Posts: 8,220
Goatboy wrote:
>
The first one had been interesting enough to talk to
Nothing in common but let’s be honest here for a moment
If you think you’re going to get laid then you’ll fake interest in anything
Anyone that says different is a liar or Jesus H Christ himself
So they did it (you want a poem about love? Go read Keats)
And afterwards he stopped calling her and moved on

....

Don’t get mad my friend or think I’m treating them like objects
Not once have I done anything other than be a willing participant
And I’ve been nothing but honest with them all



Hmm, difficult one to call, whether there's relly a contradicion in those two bits.
Maybe, maybe not. I'm not sure whether i'll post this yet (so you know, if i do).

But while relationships aren't all give, neither should they be all take.
And if there's one thing i'd be weary of in this situation, it'd be becoming like that first girl, doing to others what shedid to you.

Then again, like you say, 'anyone that wouldn't is a liar or jesus h christ'.
Oh, and please, i don't mean this in a 'hollier than thou' way, i have (not exactly by design) done the same kind of thing myself. I'm just not sure if i'd consider it a mistake.

Hmm... not sure where i really stand on this, but it gave me something to think about, might to you too.
*mouse edges from 'back' to 'post'...*
Tue 03/09/02 at 10:17
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Meka Dragon wrote:

"Anyway, nothing wrong with being honest, honest with them, honest with yourself. Funny how rare it is."

Completely agree. My girlfriend [God that's strange to write] is my best friend too. We have all that trust and stuff, and life is just a hell of a lot more fun now... there's no paranoia, no holding back, just completely in love and no worries. That rules so much.

"What's in your head now?"

"Pink rabbits with machine guns robbing a bank."
Tue 03/09/02 at 10:26
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
*bangs head on desk*

"What are you thinking?"
Always my fav question from a skinny.
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking I was great and a shame my mates didn't see"
Tue 03/09/02 at 10:37
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Yup, but seriously are just interested in each others imaginations. We just babble with whatever comes out of our minds. It feels like being on drugs most of the time. We're both completely insane, she's worse than me at times too.

Tell you what, you can come to the wedding. And if you're going to stand up and stop it, then PLEASE come up with a decent reason, for Christ's sake. :0D
Tue 03/09/02 at 10:42
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
"He can't marry her because he'll cry and write luvvy poems now, for the sake of those more cynical amongst us, stop this at once!"

Good luck.
So, you poof, where did you meet her? How?
Tue 03/09/02 at 10:59
Regular
Posts: 23,216
On here about six months ago.

(Yup, this could be the first, and most likely only Special Reserve wedding.)

It rules, although now it seems scary.

(Why?)

We'll probably invite all the bloody regulars and notables. That's what scares me.

(Nah, it'll be a larf. Nobody will know who anyone is, but they'll all buy you toasters.)

Mm.

So yeah, we met on here, got on MSN, got on the phone, photos and that video conferencing thingy too, and have just been talking for, well, all the time. We know every little detail about each other, no holds barred, and I'm pretty much utterly in love with her, because she's insane, mostly. We just clicked and opened up completely. There was a lot of crap to begin with, but everything's worked out now. We rule.
Tue 03/09/02 at 11:04
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
WEDDING????????????????????????????
Tue 03/09/02 at 11:05
Regular
Posts: 23,216
And The Princess Bride video fooked up, so I'm buying the DVD instead.

http://www.playserver4.com/play247.asp? page=title&r=R2&title=6057

If you want it, but you probably have it.

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