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A lull in today's Waller-sized workload got me thinking - what things define you as a person? Bearing in mind that Pete and Bernie's Philosophical Steakhouse is now closed, can you pin down moments in your life that made you who you are today? Example - what made you listen to the type of you music you listen to? Why do you wear the clothes you do? How did you come to be friends with your friends?
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
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Hmmmm, I have to go back a bit for mine.
I have never really had any decent friends, going back to year 3 and 4 I had a mate and he used to say “give me them crisps or I’ll tell the headmaster your not sharing”
And ‘cos I was only little I used to be scared of getting told of so I gave him the crisps. Then I think it was year 5 I had a friend who every day used to go off with his so called ‘cooler’ mates and leave me. And they would take the mick out of my second name, which is Redpath this really got to me ‘cos I knew I couldn’t change it till I was older.
A year ago I had a really good mate. Well anyways we where down a park one day with some more mates and he was beat up by 8 to 10 lads from the ages of 11 to 18. This really really got to me. Now he never comes out.
And my best friend is Reynolds yes you heard me Reynolds. You may all think he’s a cheating loser but he is a very good friend to me a sticks by me through thick and thin, and he is the best mate I have ever had.
I have never really had any decent friends, going back to year 3 and 4 I had a mate and he used to say “give me them crisps or I’ll tell the headmaster your not sharing”
And ‘cos I was only little I used to be scared of getting told of so I gave him the crisps. Then I think it was year 5 I had a friend who every day used to go off with his so called ‘cooler’ mates and leave me. And they would take the mick out of my second name, which is Redpath this really got to me ‘cos I knew I couldn’t change it till I was older.
A year ago I had a really good mate. Well anyways we where down a park one day with some more mates and he was beat up by 8 to 10 lads from the ages of 11 to 18. This really really got to me. Now he never comes out.
And my best friend is Reynolds yes you heard me Reynolds. You may all think he’s a cheating loser but he is a very good friend to me a sticks by me through thick and thin, and he is the best mate I have ever had.
Quinty wrote:
> And you know what these so-called mates did when i tried to get this
> off of my chest? Laughed at me. But i dont want to be alone again.
Me too. I'm showing my mates this. Already getting a lecture about how wrong I am...I know about the bullies in my life, not anyone else!
>
> Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
Nope, you're not dude.
>
> But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that
> im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when
> someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose
> they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
Yeah, I get the blame for stuff like that too...so, once again, me and you are both in the same boat.
>
> It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl
> i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia
> and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
Again, me too. I can't approach a girl, cos in year 3...I got rejected. I fancied this girl, my so-called mates laughed, and asked her out for me...and she said NO!
>
> That's all from me
Me too!
> And you know what these so-called mates did when i tried to get this
> off of my chest? Laughed at me. But i dont want to be alone again.
Me too. I'm showing my mates this. Already getting a lecture about how wrong I am...I know about the bullies in my life, not anyone else!
>
> Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
Nope, you're not dude.
>
> But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that
> im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when
> someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose
> they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
Yeah, I get the blame for stuff like that too...so, once again, me and you are both in the same boat.
>
> It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl
> i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia
> and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
Again, me too. I can't approach a girl, cos in year 3...I got rejected. I fancied this girl, my so-called mates laughed, and asked her out for me...and she said NO!
>
> That's all from me
Me too!
A bit extra too add.
When JAR came online, and said about the 'jokes'...that I find not funny... he tried going one up on me...like, by trying to make me feel guilty for times in the past. Why go one up, when you can just sort your problems out?
When JAR came online, and said about the 'jokes'...that I find not funny... he tried going one up on me...like, by trying to make me feel guilty for times in the past. Why go one up, when you can just sort your problems out?
I would love to post but my life is boring and will post tomorrow as i am to tired to be bothered, so i will do it later and it will be true and not SPAM.
ever since year 2 when my school finally got all the years sorted i've always felt the odd one out. All the way through til about year 12 i was always about a foot taller than anyone else and having the name Ben didn't exactly help matters. However when i got into Year 7 something changed, i had found something that my height was good for, Basketball. Now i could be the one who was in charge and for a few hours a weeks i wouldn't just be the tall guy in the background looking after my friends i could be that one important popular person that everyone crowded round at break. All the time i was picked first in teams and i felt good and my confidence grew.
In the same year i had discovered rap music with me buying my first album from the Beastie Boys with Paul's Boutique and it was with this i had started developing my attitude. With more rap albums i bought my attitude had gotten bigger. Now in year 11 i was rejecting the other kids shots on the courts and giving them some trash talking to go with it like *come back when you got some game son* i had really started to get some confidence. Now i was starting conversations and going up to people instead of waiting for others to talk to me i was really having fun. My whole life had changed due to basketball and rap music i was no longer the big tall kid others used for intimidation instead i was the trash talking kid on the court and the gentle confident giant off it. After also discovering Buddhism and getting religion back into my life after i had gotten disillusioned with the way the christian church was i had gained an inner peace. I had had a very short temper before this but now i had learned to be very passive and not let people get on my nerves. With these three things in my life and my very beautiful girlfriend my life had turned right around from the tall shy outcast kid in yr 2 to the popular basketballer i am today.
In the same year i had discovered rap music with me buying my first album from the Beastie Boys with Paul's Boutique and it was with this i had started developing my attitude. With more rap albums i bought my attitude had gotten bigger. Now in year 11 i was rejecting the other kids shots on the courts and giving them some trash talking to go with it like *come back when you got some game son* i had really started to get some confidence. Now i was starting conversations and going up to people instead of waiting for others to talk to me i was really having fun. My whole life had changed due to basketball and rap music i was no longer the big tall kid others used for intimidation instead i was the trash talking kid on the court and the gentle confident giant off it. After also discovering Buddhism and getting religion back into my life after i had gotten disillusioned with the way the christian church was i had gained an inner peace. I had had a very short temper before this but now i had learned to be very passive and not let people get on my nerves. With these three things in my life and my very beautiful girlfriend my life had turned right around from the tall shy outcast kid in yr 2 to the popular basketballer i am today.
I don't like religion because I grow in an area where they fight regularly about it even though they are both Christians. Catholics and Prodestants... not only do people end up in hospital or dead I get stuck in the middle of it... all this racial abuse and such and they're all meant to be going to heaven and such. I was christened Catholic as child... a year later my parents said they were going to bring me up with no religion... which made my grandparents fall out with them for ages. Things like that.
that's why i got tired of religion. Most wars in history have been fought about religion or religion played some part in them somehow. Buddhism is the only religion not to have started war which is why i follow that faith now. Plus it's not full of out of touch with reality pedos like the catholic church
$p!dŁy wrote:
> I would love to post but my life is boring and will post tomorrow as i
> am to tired to be bothered, so i will do it later and it will be true
> and not SPAM.
--
Shut up.
> I would love to post but my life is boring and will post tomorrow as i
> am to tired to be bothered, so i will do it later and it will be true
> and not SPAM.
--
Shut up.
Things that define me. Hmmm.
I'd consider myself to be a nobody until the age of 17. I doubt anyone that I went to school with has any real memories of me.
Sixth form was different, as I met new people, and started going out more.
I still didn't know what I wanted to do, having gone through GCSE's and them A-Levels. My choice of A-Level subjects was pretty general. Maths English Business Studies. Hardly the choices of someone that knows where they're going.
Anyway, I applied to some universities, without much thought though, I didn't have a clue.
Anyway, some guy came into Sixth form to talk about gap years, so after Sixth form I took off to Canada.
Yep, me that had lived in the same house for almost 19 years was going half way around the world.
I worked in a hotel, and didn't know anyone else at all. I went out on my own, and soon enough made great friends.
Because I had forced myself to cope on my own I became more independent, and confident. I was drinking big-time though. Right through the night most days. I didn't have a problem with it, we all did it, but it was crazy for a while. Especially the night before I left Banff (in the Rocky Mountains) to go to Toronto. I was dragged off the floor by a friend and given a lift to the bus station, just in time or I would have missed my flight.
Man I had a great time out there, and only really left because I felt it was time to go. I could have stayed forever. The scenary was beautiful, the people were fantastic, and I was having a great time. Something told me it was time to go though. Not sure what.
Anyway, I come home, and think about University again. I'm not enthused by the idea, but go anyway when the stuff comes through the door telling me of my place.
I find myslef on an International Business course. God knows why, looking back.
Anyway, I made friends pretty quickly in North London, and was having a good time. Then one night I got mugged. These two geezers then said I had to go with them to their house then they'd give all my stuff back.
I said no. They beat me up. They told me that they were going to kill me, and I reckon they would have done if a police car hadn't have driven by. They ran off. The police car didn't stop though, so I was left on the street, blood coming out of my head. I made my way to a telephone box after running scared for 15 minutes or so, in case they came back. I spent the night in hospital.
Those a-holes stole a watch from me that was a present from my grandparents on my 18th birthday. I felt really bad about that. Worse though, they stole all the independence and confidence I'd built up over the last few years.
I tried to stay in London, but every time I was walking home I did it in fear.
So I quit, and was back to not knowing what I wanted to do, and with no confidence to do anything anyway.
Time passed. I did a course in computer programming, because I figured I needed a job, so I might as well get a well paid one.
Whilst doing the course I met Lisa, who is now my wife. She made me happy again.
Anyway, little pills don't always do the job they're supposed to do, and Lisa became pregnant. This was cool, because it pushed us closer together. We got a place together, and it all worked out nicely. Malibu was born, and it was great, being a father.
At some point I got a job, which pays well, but I don't enjoy it.
Anyway, Malibu got bigger, and we had Georgia too. Two perfect children and a perfect wife. That's excellent, really fantastic. Trouble is I never want to leave them. Ever. Not to come to stinking work, and the like.
So I now have a plan. I've won 30 odd prizes from this site, mostly from stuff I've written. So I figure I'm kinda good at writing, no? So I'm going to send a few articles to a few magazines, make some money from a talent I believe I have. Make enough money so I can work less hours, eventually live off that income. It's not a dream either. I've sought out the adresses of various magazines, and am readying my material.
So that's how I got where I am today. Much of it just seemed to happen, or was done with little thought, and sometimes I wonder just how things worked out the way they did with so little planning and no direction. It's made me realise that life is just a bunch of stuff that happens. Control what you can, but don't sit around scratching your head about the stuff you can't.
So that's why I am the way I am, I guess.
I'd consider myself to be a nobody until the age of 17. I doubt anyone that I went to school with has any real memories of me.
Sixth form was different, as I met new people, and started going out more.
I still didn't know what I wanted to do, having gone through GCSE's and them A-Levels. My choice of A-Level subjects was pretty general. Maths English Business Studies. Hardly the choices of someone that knows where they're going.
Anyway, I applied to some universities, without much thought though, I didn't have a clue.
Anyway, some guy came into Sixth form to talk about gap years, so after Sixth form I took off to Canada.
Yep, me that had lived in the same house for almost 19 years was going half way around the world.
I worked in a hotel, and didn't know anyone else at all. I went out on my own, and soon enough made great friends.
Because I had forced myself to cope on my own I became more independent, and confident. I was drinking big-time though. Right through the night most days. I didn't have a problem with it, we all did it, but it was crazy for a while. Especially the night before I left Banff (in the Rocky Mountains) to go to Toronto. I was dragged off the floor by a friend and given a lift to the bus station, just in time or I would have missed my flight.
Man I had a great time out there, and only really left because I felt it was time to go. I could have stayed forever. The scenary was beautiful, the people were fantastic, and I was having a great time. Something told me it was time to go though. Not sure what.
Anyway, I come home, and think about University again. I'm not enthused by the idea, but go anyway when the stuff comes through the door telling me of my place.
I find myslef on an International Business course. God knows why, looking back.
Anyway, I made friends pretty quickly in North London, and was having a good time. Then one night I got mugged. These two geezers then said I had to go with them to their house then they'd give all my stuff back.
I said no. They beat me up. They told me that they were going to kill me, and I reckon they would have done if a police car hadn't have driven by. They ran off. The police car didn't stop though, so I was left on the street, blood coming out of my head. I made my way to a telephone box after running scared for 15 minutes or so, in case they came back. I spent the night in hospital.
Those a-holes stole a watch from me that was a present from my grandparents on my 18th birthday. I felt really bad about that. Worse though, they stole all the independence and confidence I'd built up over the last few years.
I tried to stay in London, but every time I was walking home I did it in fear.
So I quit, and was back to not knowing what I wanted to do, and with no confidence to do anything anyway.
Time passed. I did a course in computer programming, because I figured I needed a job, so I might as well get a well paid one.
Whilst doing the course I met Lisa, who is now my wife. She made me happy again.
Anyway, little pills don't always do the job they're supposed to do, and Lisa became pregnant. This was cool, because it pushed us closer together. We got a place together, and it all worked out nicely. Malibu was born, and it was great, being a father.
At some point I got a job, which pays well, but I don't enjoy it.
Anyway, Malibu got bigger, and we had Georgia too. Two perfect children and a perfect wife. That's excellent, really fantastic. Trouble is I never want to leave them. Ever. Not to come to stinking work, and the like.
So I now have a plan. I've won 30 odd prizes from this site, mostly from stuff I've written. So I figure I'm kinda good at writing, no? So I'm going to send a few articles to a few magazines, make some money from a talent I believe I have. Make enough money so I can work less hours, eventually live off that income. It's not a dream either. I've sought out the adresses of various magazines, and am readying my material.
So that's how I got where I am today. Much of it just seemed to happen, or was done with little thought, and sometimes I wonder just how things worked out the way they did with so little planning and no direction. It's made me realise that life is just a bunch of stuff that happens. Control what you can, but don't sit around scratching your head about the stuff you can't.
So that's why I am the way I am, I guess.
Bah, years of pain are all locked up inside my tiny, fragile frame because of the way i look and the way i am. It started years ago, in an accident, boys teased the hell outta me and called me names which twisted my guts so hard it hurt. When I started at high school the allmighty braindead morons picked up on it and have made my life a complete and utter misery, sometimes I cut myself to releive it, but I've stopped it now, well for a few days, the cuts are going down, the pain gets too great sometimes but still I do it just 'cos I'm so miserable. One day I hope that all of the cruel hearted, evil minded bullies realise what they have done to me, how dreading I have become of my life. My 'friends' take the mick outta me too, because of my religion and the way i dress, they call me a freak and a weirdo. KR knows one of the people that makes my life like a hell upon earth, and yet he listens to her...every single thing about me has been told to him, don't you think that's too cruel, too callous? I do, I feel like my life is already over before it has even begun...and I have the 'loved' ones around me to thank for that...
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