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"My (sort of) Mario kart spoof!"

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Mon 05/08/02 at 22:26
Regular
Posts: 787
Race 1

‘Welcome one and all to the first race of the Nintendo Racing Championship (N.R.C) here at Mushroom Kingdom circuit. The racers are currently warming up for what should be a great race. While we wait for the race to start I’ll summarise the rules of N.R.C. There are ten teams each with two drivers, the race lasts for 10 laps with the top five drivers gaining points. 1st place = 10 points, 2nd = 7 points, 3rd = 5 points, 4th = 3 points and 5th = 1 point! The following pick ups are available on the track, green shells, bananas, red shells, bomb-om’s and mushroom boosts!’

(Down on the track)

Knuckles: This race is mine

Wario: Think again, I’mma gonna win

DK: Oo oo ahh ahh

Wario storms up through the leading pack and takes the lead with Knuckles close behind. They speed round the corner and drive through the first lot of pick ups, Wario nabs some bananas while DK picks up a bomb, Wario quickly drops the banana in DK’s path, he spins and the bomb-om explodes!

Wario: Ha ha ha!

They carry on further along the track, Wario staying in front with Knuckles right behind him. They’re closely followed by Mario, Link, Kirby and Tingle; suddenly from nowhere the famous Sonic music booms in the background as Sonic drives by at a lighting pace with the mushroom boost.

Sonic: They don’t call me Sonic for nothing, now where are those chilly dogs?

Mario: Mamma mia, dama Sega mascot, he’s a nothing compared to me!

Trailing behind in last place, Bowser resorts to some dastardly tactics!

Bowser: Here, hold this Mushroom head

He chucks a bomb onto the lap of poor Toad; it explodes sending Toad into the air and his kart into the wall

Commentator: That looks like our first racer out, Toad!

The race continues, minus poor Toad, Bowser continues, catching up with Jigglypuff. He rams into the back of her and she loses control sending her onto the gravel!

Bowser: Rahhhhh

Jigglypuff: Jiggly!!!
She rejoins the track but now badly behind, further up the track and fierce battle is underway for 10th place as Peach tries to pass Luigi!

Peach: Luigi, please get out of my way!

Luigi: Mamma mia princess, I canna let a u past!

Peach: but I have baked a cake for you

Luigi: Wella in thata case

Luigi slows up; Peach sneakily places a bomb-om in it and hands it over to Luigi. She quickly speeds by.

Luigi: I lovea the Princess’ cakes, what the?

The bomb-om explodes and cake is blown all over the track (and Luigi), it causes him to spin out of control!

Peach: Hehe, he was always a sucker for a piece of cake!

Time goes by, Wario stays way out in front with Sonic and Knuckles following and the majority of the pack behind them. Yoshi (in 12th place) starts to speed up so as to catch the chasing pack; only Waluigi stands in his way!

Yoshi: Yoshi

He sticks his tong out, grabs Waluigi (kart as well) and spits him out; he crashes into the tyre wall and retires from the race!

Waluigi: Waaaa!

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Meanwhile Ganondorf and Link battle it out to gain a place.

Ganondorf: Wohahaha, Zelda is mine

Link: Nooo, I must save her!

Daisy seeing the advantage speeds up with a boost and zooms through the two enemies. Diddy Kong and Roy meanwhile carry on as they try to catch up with the trailing pack. Marth grabs a red shell and throws it down, it whacks into Diddy Kong sending him in a spin, he rejoins but now badly behind.

Up in front the action really hots up, Sonic and Knuckles are gaining on Wario while the trailing pack continue their battles to finish in the points, final lap draws near as Sonic and Knuckles finally catch Wario but he has plan.

Wario: This is my race, take this!
Sonic: What the?

Wario drops two green shells, one hits Knuckles sending him into the dirt but the other just misses.

Knuckles: Sonic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sonic: You dastardly sneak!

Sonic draws up beside him but Wario uses his backup plan,

Wario: Here’s a present runt

He chucks a banana but Sonic (using his speed) catches it and chucks it back, Wario drives right over it and he spins to a halt, Sonic speeds by!

Wario: Waaaaaaa

Sonic Ha Ha take that Dr Robot.., oh no, this aint a Sonic game!

The chasing pack speed by Wario, Bowser crashes straight imto him and they both end up in the gravel!

Mario: Ha, the bad a guys nether winna!

Sonic speeds home in a resounding win with Yoshi in 2nd, Mario 3rd, Kirby 4th and Daisy in 5th!

Sonic: Yeah, hot chilly dogs, I won!

Mario: Mamma Mia, I gotta do better!

Yoshi: Yoshi

Daisy: Is that all you ever say?

Well a well deserved win by Sonic there, hope you join us next time when we journey to the land of Hyrule for our second race, see you there!
Sun 11/08/02 at 19:44
Regular
"In and out :)"
Posts: 272
Yeh thats the NOM magazine with all the cool ideas for Mario kart some of them sound really cool i hope some of them go through in the new mario kart when it come out
Sun 11/08/02 at 19:42
Regular
Posts: 210
My mate brought round his GameCube mag, (can't remember which one), and it had people writing in with loads of cool ideas about what could be on Mario Kart GameCube. Proper top, should read it. Stuff like Pikmin attack, and that's all I can remember. TV has ruined my ability to, uh, you know, think.
Sun 11/08/02 at 19:39
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Waiting in anticipation!
Sat 10/08/02 at 20:39
Regular
"aka 'SLIM'"
Posts: 2,037
cool some fellow Daft Punk fans, yay!

Ok i'll sort the points out sometime and I'll try and have another race done by Sunday!
Sat 10/08/02 at 18:34
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Yeah, I'm all for it BIGMAN. Something like 1st = 10, 10th = 1?

Great tagline! My favourites are Digital Love, Aerodynamic, One More Time and Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.
Sat 10/08/02 at 12:44
Regular
"Australian Person."
Posts: 280
I could agree but I still won't have any points :P
No rewally I agree though.
Heh I ike your sig... One more time!
Fri 09/08/02 at 20:52
Regular
"aka 'SLIM'"
Posts: 2,037
I wish I had made the point system different so that the top 10 drivers got points, do you agree as I could change it?
Fri 09/08/02 at 14:18
Regular
"Australian Person."
Posts: 280
14th...
Hmm don't you like Luigi. Oh well maybe he'll go better next race.
Thu 08/08/02 at 19:52
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Excellent.. 3rd. But a didn't finish for Tingle? We've been very quiet Tingle, time to heat things up a bit..
Thu 08/08/02 at 10:55
Regular
"Grammatical Watchdo"
Posts: 1,166
BIGMAN wrote:
> Made a mistake their, sorry,
>
> In the post I said that Diddy recieved a point when he shouldn't have
> done (as said in the results table!)
>
> sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> :-(

Take away my point will you??

*strokes imaginary beard*

Ha Ha Ha
That's evil enough.
*walks away to develop evil plan to steal points*
*walks into lampost*
Owwww

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