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‘Welcome one and all to the first race of the Nintendo Racing Championship (N.R.C) here at Mushroom Kingdom circuit. The racers are currently warming up for what should be a great race. While we wait for the race to start I’ll summarise the rules of N.R.C. There are ten teams each with two drivers, the race lasts for 10 laps with the top five drivers gaining points. 1st place = 10 points, 2nd = 7 points, 3rd = 5 points, 4th = 3 points and 5th = 1 point! The following pick ups are available on the track, green shells, bananas, red shells, bomb-om’s and mushroom boosts!’
(Down on the track)
Knuckles: This race is mine
Wario: Think again, I’mma gonna win
DK: Oo oo ahh ahh
Wario storms up through the leading pack and takes the lead with Knuckles close behind. They speed round the corner and drive through the first lot of pick ups, Wario nabs some bananas while DK picks up a bomb, Wario quickly drops the banana in DK’s path, he spins and the bomb-om explodes!
Wario: Ha ha ha!
They carry on further along the track, Wario staying in front with Knuckles right behind him. They’re closely followed by Mario, Link, Kirby and Tingle; suddenly from nowhere the famous Sonic music booms in the background as Sonic drives by at a lighting pace with the mushroom boost.
Sonic: They don’t call me Sonic for nothing, now where are those chilly dogs?
Mario: Mamma mia, dama Sega mascot, he’s a nothing compared to me!
Trailing behind in last place, Bowser resorts to some dastardly tactics!
Bowser: Here, hold this Mushroom head
He chucks a bomb onto the lap of poor Toad; it explodes sending Toad into the air and his kart into the wall
Commentator: That looks like our first racer out, Toad!
The race continues, minus poor Toad, Bowser continues, catching up with Jigglypuff. He rams into the back of her and she loses control sending her onto the gravel!
Bowser: Rahhhhh
Jigglypuff: Jiggly!!!
She rejoins the track but now badly behind, further up the track and fierce battle is underway for 10th place as Peach tries to pass Luigi!
Peach: Luigi, please get out of my way!
Luigi: Mamma mia princess, I canna let a u past!
Peach: but I have baked a cake for you
Luigi: Wella in thata case
Luigi slows up; Peach sneakily places a bomb-om in it and hands it over to Luigi. She quickly speeds by.
Luigi: I lovea the Princess’ cakes, what the?
The bomb-om explodes and cake is blown all over the track (and Luigi), it causes him to spin out of control!
Peach: Hehe, he was always a sucker for a piece of cake!
Time goes by, Wario stays way out in front with Sonic and Knuckles following and the majority of the pack behind them. Yoshi (in 12th place) starts to speed up so as to catch the chasing pack; only Waluigi stands in his way!
Yoshi: Yoshi
He sticks his tong out, grabs Waluigi (kart as well) and spits him out; he crashes into the tyre wall and retires from the race!
Waluigi: Waaaa!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Meanwhile Ganondorf and Link battle it out to gain a place.
Ganondorf: Wohahaha, Zelda is mine
Link: Nooo, I must save her!
Daisy seeing the advantage speeds up with a boost and zooms through the two enemies. Diddy Kong and Roy meanwhile carry on as they try to catch up with the trailing pack. Marth grabs a red shell and throws it down, it whacks into Diddy Kong sending him in a spin, he rejoins but now badly behind.
Up in front the action really hots up, Sonic and Knuckles are gaining on Wario while the trailing pack continue their battles to finish in the points, final lap draws near as Sonic and Knuckles finally catch Wario but he has plan.
Wario: This is my race, take this!
Sonic: What the?
Wario drops two green shells, one hits Knuckles sending him into the dirt but the other just misses.
Knuckles: Sonic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sonic: You dastardly sneak!
Sonic draws up beside him but Wario uses his backup plan,
Wario: Here’s a present runt
He chucks a banana but Sonic (using his speed) catches it and chucks it back, Wario drives right over it and he spins to a halt, Sonic speeds by!
Wario: Waaaaaaa
Sonic Ha Ha take that Dr Robot.., oh no, this aint a Sonic game!
The chasing pack speed by Wario, Bowser crashes straight imto him and they both end up in the gravel!
Mario: Ha, the bad a guys nether winna!
Sonic speeds home in a resounding win with Yoshi in 2nd, Mario 3rd, Kirby 4th and Daisy in 5th!
Sonic: Yeah, hot chilly dogs, I won!
Mario: Mamma Mia, I gotta do better!
Yoshi: Yoshi
Daisy: Is that all you ever say?
Well a well deserved win by Sonic there, hope you join us next time when we journey to the land of Hyrule for our second race, see you there!
> wots the point of all this?????????
Shut it, you didn't sign up so stop with the insults!
> wots the point of all this?????????
Well - it's fun and humorous. What more do you want?
I'm twelth!!
1) Link = 21
2) Mario = 17
2) Kirby = 17
2) Sonic = 17
5) Roy = 14
6) Toad = 11
6) Wario = 11
8) Yoshi = 9
8) Waluigi = 9
10) Daisy = 7
10) Ganondorf = 7
12) Diddy Kong = 6
13) Marth = 5
13) Tingle = 5
15) Knuckles= 4
16) Bowser = 3
17) Luigi = 2
18) Donkey Kong = 0
18) Jigglypuff = 0
28) Peach = 0
Race 3 results (= points)
1) Link = 10
2) Mario = 9
3) Kirby = 8
4) Sonic = 7
5) Ganondorf = 6
6) Toad = 5
7) Wario =
8) Bowser = 3
9) Luigi = 2
10) Diddy Kong = 1
11) Yoshi
12) Tingle
13) Marth
14) Waluigi
15) Donkey Kong
16) Jigglypuff
17) Peach
18) Knuckles
19) Daisy (DF)
20) Roy (DF)