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... well, one thing anyway.
I believe it's grix who's mentioned in the forums how whenever someone is talking about something he has no interest in, he'll tell them directly and walk away. (Sorry if it's not grix, but i think it was).
Always seemed like a good idea, especially when considering the argument that it's more rude to sit there paying them no real attention while they talk.
But i had a couple of golden opportunities to do it again this weekend, and, as always, let them slip by. That got me thinking. And hence the topic was started.
Sitting at home, my mum's talking about her day, which i can live with, i do care a bit about it.
But them she starts rambling about what she had for lunch.
In my head: "I don't care about what kind of mayonnaise you had with your prawn and rocket salad sandwich on granary bread, dammit. Ohh, what's that out of the window.."
But as my eyes turn to the two pigeons squaring up to each other, i continue to nod and smile politely.
Next day, i'm eating lunch, and she's talking about a great aunt who nobody's seen for about 4 years (we don't have a very close extended family). She's going on and on about her, i've had no contact with her for over a decade, when she'd have been at some rare family gathering event. Being completely honest, i don't really care.. at all. No more than i do about anyone else i really don't know.
But i sat there and listened.. well, 'listened', for about 20 minutes, until she started to go into too much detail about the old woman's 'bowl problems' (like i said, i was eating).
With my friends, close friends at least, it'd be different, i could just tell them i didn't care. But not with most people.
So i'm putting on an act, pretending to listen. I'm basically lying to them, and being more disrespectful (although they don't know it) by paying no attention than i would be if i were honest with them.
But i can't just tell them.
I think it's the same kind of thing as when you think that pretty girl just smiled at you, but you don't have the nuts to go speak to her,m or do anything about it. The result is different (miss out on a shot at a couple of months of sex, as opposed to everyone thinking you're a jerk) - but i think the cause is the same - you've withdrawn behind a facade of how you think you should be, or how your fear makes you, instead of just being true to yourself (that oft mentioned 'inner voice', if you will).
So right now, i think maybe if i'm going to really live as i want to, up front and honestly, i need to stop pretending on this (amongst other things). But i still don't think i can tell my mum that i don't care about her lunch or relative.
Even if the whole 'is the voice any more sacred than any other influence, or is it just one of many equal or uncomparable factors that contribute to who you are' thing comes into play, i still think i'd need to stop the pretending to live true to myself.
But right now, i think it has to be balanced against the need not to offend everyone, and know i'll struggle to beat the 'fear' that holds me back from these things sometimes.
Opinions?
I believe it's grix who's mentioned in the forums how whenever someone is talking about something he has no interest in, he'll tell them directly and walk away. (Sorry if it's not grix, but i think it was).
Always seemed like a good idea, especially when considering the argument that it's more rude to sit there paying them no real attention while they talk.
But i had a couple of golden opportunities to do it again this weekend, and, as always, let them slip by. That got me thinking. And hence the topic was started.
Sitting at home, my mum's talking about her day, which i can live with, i do care a bit about it.
But them she starts rambling about what she had for lunch.
In my head: "I don't care about what kind of mayonnaise you had with your prawn and rocket salad sandwich on granary bread, dammit. Ohh, what's that out of the window.."
But as my eyes turn to the two pigeons squaring up to each other, i continue to nod and smile politely.
Next day, i'm eating lunch, and she's talking about a great aunt who nobody's seen for about 4 years (we don't have a very close extended family). She's going on and on about her, i've had no contact with her for over a decade, when she'd have been at some rare family gathering event. Being completely honest, i don't really care.. at all. No more than i do about anyone else i really don't know.
But i sat there and listened.. well, 'listened', for about 20 minutes, until she started to go into too much detail about the old woman's 'bowl problems' (like i said, i was eating).
With my friends, close friends at least, it'd be different, i could just tell them i didn't care. But not with most people.
So i'm putting on an act, pretending to listen. I'm basically lying to them, and being more disrespectful (although they don't know it) by paying no attention than i would be if i were honest with them.
But i can't just tell them.
I think it's the same kind of thing as when you think that pretty girl just smiled at you, but you don't have the nuts to go speak to her,m or do anything about it. The result is different (miss out on a shot at a couple of months of sex, as opposed to everyone thinking you're a jerk) - but i think the cause is the same - you've withdrawn behind a facade of how you think you should be, or how your fear makes you, instead of just being true to yourself (that oft mentioned 'inner voice', if you will).
So right now, i think maybe if i'm going to really live as i want to, up front and honestly, i need to stop pretending on this (amongst other things). But i still don't think i can tell my mum that i don't care about her lunch or relative.
Even if the whole 'is the voice any more sacred than any other influence, or is it just one of many equal or uncomparable factors that contribute to who you are' thing comes into play, i still think i'd need to stop the pretending to live true to myself.
But right now, i think it has to be balanced against the need not to offend everyone, and know i'll struggle to beat the 'fear' that holds me back from these things sometimes.
Opinions?
Page:
You sound a bit like me, Mr Duck.
I have this friend who...well, to be honest, he's a bit dumb. Not his own fault of course, he's just a little behind everyone else. Oh yeah, and of all the bad luck he caught ME. He used to have a few friends at my school but thanks to his illness he had to leave, and now I'm one of his only friends left in the area who will actually go out places with him.
Problem is, he talks a lot of crap sometimes and by the time he's finished I've got no idea what he was on about. :D I usually make little interruptions such as, "yeah, I agree," or, "well yeah, of course," or "yeah, I s'pose." Maybe I should say he's boring me, but I don't have the guts.
I don't have the guts to talk to many girls either. Still, I'm going to say Grace on Wednesday (the girl who rejected me a year ago, and the girl who was the subject of my heart-breaking post on FOR Prime a while ago), and I'm hoping we can get on well...
Also, sorry, but I laughed at the bit about the pigeons and your mother speaking. :D
I have this friend who...well, to be honest, he's a bit dumb. Not his own fault of course, he's just a little behind everyone else. Oh yeah, and of all the bad luck he caught ME. He used to have a few friends at my school but thanks to his illness he had to leave, and now I'm one of his only friends left in the area who will actually go out places with him.
Problem is, he talks a lot of crap sometimes and by the time he's finished I've got no idea what he was on about. :D I usually make little interruptions such as, "yeah, I agree," or, "well yeah, of course," or "yeah, I s'pose." Maybe I should say he's boring me, but I don't have the guts.
I don't have the guts to talk to many girls either. Still, I'm going to say Grace on Wednesday (the girl who rejected me a year ago, and the girl who was the subject of my heart-breaking post on FOR Prime a while ago), and I'm hoping we can get on well...
Also, sorry, but I laughed at the bit about the pigeons and your mother speaking. :D
... well, one thing anyway.
I believe it's grix who's mentioned in the forums how whenever someone is talking about something he has no interest in, he'll tell them directly and walk away. (Sorry if it's not grix, but i think it was).
Always seemed like a good idea, especially when considering the argument that it's more rude to sit there paying them no real attention while they talk.
But i had a couple of golden opportunities to do it again this weekend, and, as always, let them slip by. That got me thinking. And hence the topic was started.
Sitting at home, my mum's talking about her day, which i can live with, i do care a bit about it.
But them she starts rambling about what she had for lunch.
In my head: "I don't care about what kind of mayonnaise you had with your prawn and rocket salad sandwich on granary bread, dammit. Ohh, what's that out of the window.."
But as my eyes turn to the two pigeons squaring up to each other, i continue to nod and smile politely.
Next day, i'm eating lunch, and she's talking about a great aunt who nobody's seen for about 4 years (we don't have a very close extended family). She's going on and on about her, i've had no contact with her for over a decade, when she'd have been at some rare family gathering event. Being completely honest, i don't really care.. at all. No more than i do about anyone else i really don't know.
But i sat there and listened.. well, 'listened', for about 20 minutes, until she started to go into too much detail about the old woman's 'bowl problems' (like i said, i was eating).
With my friends, close friends at least, it'd be different, i could just tell them i didn't care. But not with most people.
So i'm putting on an act, pretending to listen. I'm basically lying to them, and being more disrespectful (although they don't know it) by paying no attention than i would be if i were honest with them.
But i can't just tell them.
I think it's the same kind of thing as when you think that pretty girl just smiled at you, but you don't have the nuts to go speak to her,m or do anything about it. The result is different (miss out on a shot at a couple of months of sex, as opposed to everyone thinking you're a jerk) - but i think the cause is the same - you've withdrawn behind a facade of how you think you should be, or how your fear makes you, instead of just being true to yourself (that oft mentioned 'inner voice', if you will).
So right now, i think maybe if i'm going to really live as i want to, up front and honestly, i need to stop pretending on this (amongst other things). But i still don't think i can tell my mum that i don't care about her lunch or relative.
Even if the whole 'is the voice any more sacred than any other influence, or is it just one of many equal or uncomparable factors that contribute to who you are' thing comes into play, i still think i'd need to stop the pretending to live true to myself.
But right now, i think it has to be balanced against the need not to offend everyone, and know i'll struggle to beat the 'fear' that holds me back from these things sometimes.
Opinions?
I believe it's grix who's mentioned in the forums how whenever someone is talking about something he has no interest in, he'll tell them directly and walk away. (Sorry if it's not grix, but i think it was).
Always seemed like a good idea, especially when considering the argument that it's more rude to sit there paying them no real attention while they talk.
But i had a couple of golden opportunities to do it again this weekend, and, as always, let them slip by. That got me thinking. And hence the topic was started.
Sitting at home, my mum's talking about her day, which i can live with, i do care a bit about it.
But them she starts rambling about what she had for lunch.
In my head: "I don't care about what kind of mayonnaise you had with your prawn and rocket salad sandwich on granary bread, dammit. Ohh, what's that out of the window.."
But as my eyes turn to the two pigeons squaring up to each other, i continue to nod and smile politely.
Next day, i'm eating lunch, and she's talking about a great aunt who nobody's seen for about 4 years (we don't have a very close extended family). She's going on and on about her, i've had no contact with her for over a decade, when she'd have been at some rare family gathering event. Being completely honest, i don't really care.. at all. No more than i do about anyone else i really don't know.
But i sat there and listened.. well, 'listened', for about 20 minutes, until she started to go into too much detail about the old woman's 'bowl problems' (like i said, i was eating).
With my friends, close friends at least, it'd be different, i could just tell them i didn't care. But not with most people.
So i'm putting on an act, pretending to listen. I'm basically lying to them, and being more disrespectful (although they don't know it) by paying no attention than i would be if i were honest with them.
But i can't just tell them.
I think it's the same kind of thing as when you think that pretty girl just smiled at you, but you don't have the nuts to go speak to her,m or do anything about it. The result is different (miss out on a shot at a couple of months of sex, as opposed to everyone thinking you're a jerk) - but i think the cause is the same - you've withdrawn behind a facade of how you think you should be, or how your fear makes you, instead of just being true to yourself (that oft mentioned 'inner voice', if you will).
So right now, i think maybe if i'm going to really live as i want to, up front and honestly, i need to stop pretending on this (amongst other things). But i still don't think i can tell my mum that i don't care about her lunch or relative.
Even if the whole 'is the voice any more sacred than any other influence, or is it just one of many equal or uncomparable factors that contribute to who you are' thing comes into play, i still think i'd need to stop the pretending to live true to myself.
But right now, i think it has to be balanced against the need not to offend everyone, and know i'll struggle to beat the 'fear' that holds me back from these things sometimes.
Opinions?
Page: