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After the shocking announcment of Sonynet made a few weeks back, the first game to use the technology has been announced.
Battleship 2001 will be a real time battleship game, and will feature 20 million polygons a second.
Taking full use of the "emotion engine", Battleship will be a two player game, allowing two different people to play the same game in a different room.
"I expect many people are thinking, this is just another clone of Battleship, so what can we expect to make YOUR battleship different?" Sony were asked.
The Sony representative replied: "The 20 million polygons a second, *cough* will enable us to make realistic models of the boats, and make hundreds of crew members to fill the boats."
"But battleship is one of the oldest games there is? Surely the game would be no different gameplay wise?"
"As we said, the game will run at 20 million polygons a second, *cough*, and therefore will improve the game dramatically."
Sony then went on to release the first ever screenshot of Battleship, which you can exclusively see at this web site.
http://images.viewimages.com/wm/SO000085.jpg
The crowd were impressed at the detail...
Battleship 2001 will be a real time battleship game, and will feature 20 million polygons a second.
Taking full use of the "emotion engine", Battleship will be a two player game, allowing two different people to play the same game in a different room.
"I expect many people are thinking, this is just another clone of Battleship, so what can we expect to make YOUR battleship different?" Sony were asked.
The Sony representative replied: "The 20 million polygons a second, *cough* will enable us to make realistic models of the boats, and make hundreds of crew members to fill the boats."
"But battleship is one of the oldest games there is? Surely the game would be no different gameplay wise?"
"As we said, the game will run at 20 million polygons a second, *cough*, and therefore will improve the game dramatically."
Sony then went on to release the first ever screenshot of Battleship, which you can exclusively see at this web site.
http://images.viewimages.com/wm/SO000085.jpg
The crowd were impressed at the detail...
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Two weeks on from the PS2 launch in America, and many have now been returned, (Wow, this is actually a real story!).
The reason being lies in Sonynet, the highly anticipated multiplayer format.
Here's a reminder for all those unfamiliar with Sonynet.
Here's a picture of the £100 system:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/SonyNet.jpg
And here's one of the system in action:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/demo.jpg
(I don't see any pictures on any other news broadcasts...)
The problem lay in the design of the system, and caused many faults that proved to be disasterous for the average PS2 owner.
A press statement from Sony:
"It has nothing to do with our manufactoring process that has caused all the stri..., I mean longitute animine cables to become untied. Sony has issued a address for all the systems to be sent back to, so they can be re-knott... I mean re-caliberated and tested. This will cost £50 to repair. But as we said, it had nothing to do with the quality of the stri... wires."
The representative from Sony continued talking for several hours, at which point he walked out, as everybody had passed out from boredom.
The reason being lies in Sonynet, the highly anticipated multiplayer format.
Here's a reminder for all those unfamiliar with Sonynet.
Here's a picture of the £100 system:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/SonyNet.jpg
And here's one of the system in action:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/demo.jpg
(I don't see any pictures on any other news broadcasts...)
The problem lay in the design of the system, and caused many faults that proved to be disasterous for the average PS2 owner.
A press statement from Sony:
"It has nothing to do with our manufactoring process that has caused all the stri..., I mean longitute animine cables to become untied. Sony has issued a address for all the systems to be sent back to, so they can be re-knott... I mean re-caliberated and tested. This will cost £50 to repair. But as we said, it had nothing to do with the quality of the stri... wires."
The representative from Sony continued talking for several hours, at which point he walked out, as everybody had passed out from boredom.
After the total [success] of the [revolutionary] Battleship 2001, Sony were attacked again today by the gaming press after the "jaggies" that are seen on all PS2's games.
Sony came up with this answer:
"We purposely put the "jaggies", as you call them, into the games, to stop the game from looking too realistic, this is why we prefer to call them "emotional borders". And that is copyrighted."
They went on to say:
"Typically, in our game that has the most "emotional borders", Dead or Alive 2, it was very important that we put them in, otherwise, heavens above, there could be people out there fantisising about womens breasts. And we don't want that."
Sony were asked: "It is quite obvious that the graphics in Dead or Alive 2 on the PS2 are as good, and sometimes lower than those of the Dreamcast. Can you really justify saying that your console is "next-generation", compared to the Dreamcast?"
Sony replied: "Yes. Our game runs at twenty million polygons a second™, so is therefore much better."
"But the game runs as fast as the Dreamcast game! The polygon count doesn't make a difference!"
Sony replied: "Twenty MILLION!! Didn't you hear me!"
Sony came up with this answer:
"We purposely put the "jaggies", as you call them, into the games, to stop the game from looking too realistic, this is why we prefer to call them "emotional borders". And that is copyrighted."
They went on to say:
"Typically, in our game that has the most "emotional borders", Dead or Alive 2, it was very important that we put them in, otherwise, heavens above, there could be people out there fantisising about womens breasts. And we don't want that."
Sony were asked: "It is quite obvious that the graphics in Dead or Alive 2 on the PS2 are as good, and sometimes lower than those of the Dreamcast. Can you really justify saying that your console is "next-generation", compared to the Dreamcast?"
Sony replied: "Yes. Our game runs at twenty million polygons a second™, so is therefore much better."
"But the game runs as fast as the Dreamcast game! The polygon count doesn't make a difference!"
Sony replied: "Twenty MILLION!! Didn't you hear me!"
Try this
http://www.royalnavy.co.uk
or http://HMSinternet.com
Guess where they lead?
http://www.royalnavy.co.uk
or http://HMSinternet.com
Guess where they lead?
Latest news
Sony announce that due to a legal dispute with The Royal Navy, who own the rights to Battleship and the colour Grey, their new game will have a different name. BS, it was considered, could change its name to something starting with SB, such as SadBlatt, but in hindsight this was not close enough to spur instant recognition of the game.
Fate intervened in the form of a mishspelling in a Sony Computer Entertainment news release where the last letter of the word Battleship was changed to a "t".
A spokesperson said "As the Royal Navy are the rightful owners of Battleship Grey we have agreed to change the game to Battleshit Brown. The new name reflects our image as a market leader in the field of innovative Advertising and Public Relations and we have recruited a distorted, starved and half-naked prisoner of war to promote the game under the heading Sony Bony. This was all our idea and we did not copy it from a film which we hope everybody has forgotten"
Sony announce that due to a legal dispute with The Royal Navy, who own the rights to Battleship and the colour Grey, their new game will have a different name. BS, it was considered, could change its name to something starting with SB, such as SadBlatt, but in hindsight this was not close enough to spur instant recognition of the game.
Fate intervened in the form of a mishspelling in a Sony Computer Entertainment news release where the last letter of the word Battleship was changed to a "t".
A spokesperson said "As the Royal Navy are the rightful owners of Battleship Grey we have agreed to change the game to Battleshit Brown. The new name reflects our image as a market leader in the field of innovative Advertising and Public Relations and we have recruited a distorted, starved and half-naked prisoner of war to promote the game under the heading Sony Bony. This was all our idea and we did not copy it from a film which we hope everybody has forgotten"
Just read my very own topic...
NEWS JUST IN!! (Or, try and beat this, Ant.)
The screenshot was a fake! Sony were under critism this evening after it was found out that Sony had just taken a picture out of Corel Draw 2.0.
Sega had this to say: "Bra ha ha ha ha ha!"
Sony replyed with, "Obviously Corel Draw had planted the picture into their program, to try and fool the public into thinking we could cheat them. We NEVER lie to the public about our games, or our hardware."
Then Sony were asked: "But Corel Draw 2.0 was released seven years ago!"
Sony: "Again, they had invented a time machine to try to ruin us, us hard working people."
Eventually a real screenshot was pulled out of Sony. You can see it here:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/boat2.jpg
When asked about the "jaggies" in the screenshot, Sony replied:
"That is our emotion engine at work, the rough edges to the boats are the sharpnesses of the crew members, and the rough water represents the rough seas, which the poor crew must navigate."
More news as we get it, but, bye bye for now.
The screenshot was a fake! Sony were under critism this evening after it was found out that Sony had just taken a picture out of Corel Draw 2.0.
Sega had this to say: "Bra ha ha ha ha ha!"
Sony replyed with, "Obviously Corel Draw had planted the picture into their program, to try and fool the public into thinking we could cheat them. We NEVER lie to the public about our games, or our hardware."
Then Sony were asked: "But Corel Draw 2.0 was released seven years ago!"
Sony: "Again, they had invented a time machine to try to ruin us, us hard working people."
Eventually a real screenshot was pulled out of Sony. You can see it here:
http://www.geocities.com/englishpoke/boat2.jpg
When asked about the "jaggies" in the screenshot, Sony replied:
"That is our emotion engine at work, the rough edges to the boats are the sharpnesses of the crew members, and the rough water represents the rough seas, which the poor crew must navigate."
More news as we get it, but, bye bye for now.
Sony stylee I think they call it in Jamaica.
Now THAT'S advertising!
Reports are coming in that ants have been terminated after a virus scare.
Reports are coming in of the USS Entrepid going down off the coast of Guatemala in calm seas. These coincide with Sony announcing that the Beta test of Battleship 2001 being completed successfully. Is there a link?
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