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"I. Hate. Harlow!"

Yes that's right, I'm from the black hole that is Harlow. Surrounded by the picturesque towns of Sawbridgeworth and Epping, you might be forgiven for mistaking it for a nice place...but you'd be wrong! For Harlow is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy since that place on that planet in Star Wars (geeky reference I know, but hey, it's my thread!). So why am I so peeved (substitute for "p****d off") with my home town at this moment in time? Well, I thought I'd be safe walking home from my girlfriend's house tonight. It's Saturday, everyone's out for a good time, but I come home early because it's my Mum's birthday tomorrow and I want to get some sleep. It's only a 5/10 minute walk past a school, main road and a pub. So why do some of the f*ckwits who live in this town think it's funny to throw eggs at people from passing cars. At first I thought the bloke was drunk or something - his car kept swerving - but now I know he was just lining his shot up! And a good shot it was too - hit me right on the arm...although I'm sure they were aiming for my face. Lucky for me I left my Mum's present round my girlfriend's house - I would not have been a happy bunny if they'd have wrecked that. My top needed a wash anyway.

I was angry.

But I'm a bigger man than that and found that raising my fist to the air and shouting "Waaaaaaaaankers" calmed me down. (I had my hand on the phone in my pocket ready to call someone if they turned around).

Cool...no anxiousness about if they come back or not...no paranoia, just a mindless act of random violence. I play games like that all the time...on my Playstation. Certainly not at 10:15 at night in a poofy white 4x4 with a big gay purple wheel on the back! Ha ha, I may have egg on my sleeve, but at least I don't have a gay car! Take that Mr Essex-boy!

So I thought that was it - my night of dodgy Essex-ness was over. Wrong! For round the corner were a bunch of 15 year old girls having a big spat about something *Essex-girl voice* "You know what I'm like when I've been drinking*. No, enlighten me, do you confuse Pidgeetoo with Pokewotsit? Didn't get involved though, just let them all walk into the middle of the road, secretly hoping they'd get crushed by Big Foot (the monster truck, not the man-beast).

Excellent, only five minutes into my journey and I've already witnessed 2 acts of oafness! And the third? A fight outside the pub of course! Obviously it's the pre-pubescant "Lads" that couldn't get in, so they took to buying from the off-license and drinking on the steps to the pub.

So that concludes my tale. I hate Harlow and can't wait to get back to Cambridge and get my head into my books and my studio. Sorry about the bad language, but I thought it was neccesary to convey the emotions that I'm feeling right now about living in a town where everyone is the village idiot.

I bid you good day, Sir!

Perhaps a University has a campus in Harlow.

Sounds like a dump to me though. This is why I am so glad I live up North.

you can do university courses at some colleges and institutes though.

Sorry to disappoint you mate, but Harlow hasn't got a University...

Uhh, I was going to choose Harlow to do my University course too, stuff that now, it looked such a nice area too, I have the choice of some Uni in Liverpool and err another one but I can't remember the name of it just now.

Harlow eh? I live in Hertford, and you're right it is full of brain dead idiots.

It's not just Harlow that's like that though.
Have you ever been to Romford, Southend, Basildon etc?
Sheeesh those are such depressing places filled with horrid greasy mongs, but the problem is, they are the best places to go shopping in my area, so i'm buggered as I have to go there.

Sounds good to me!
Let out all the karate experts & ninjas onto the streets to eliminate the scum.

I live in Harlow too, and I hate it too.

It's full of unemployed, brain-dead little plastic cockneys with no intelligence, future or thumbs.
The town centre is a wasteland and breeding ground for lank-haired fat under 20yr old mums all smoking Silk Cut and going "NyaaaaahhhhH!" at each other.
I hate them.

Shops?
What shops?
F###ing Poundlands, Lidls and nasty-ass jewellers.
Pikeys.

And dirty faced moron kids that think because they have hairy-shouldered, vest wearing dads they can gob off to me or my family.
Surpised the hell out of them though, and their stupid mockney jobless, feckless monkey dad.
But the one thing that makes me laugh?

They were born here, work here and will die here.
The sooner the better.
Did you know there's only 1 place you can buy books from now? WH Smith, great if you want a Dick Francis novel or one about cooking, but you try to find anything else with little print?
Tough, go to Cambridge.
Strangely though, we have 8 shoe shops and 2 Clintons.
And 4 supermarkets.

Morons.
The sooner this town is napalmed from a great height the better.

*rant over*
I hate Harlow.

This kid tried to nick an old mates bike once. "Give us yer bkie, mate". "Look, I take the bike home and then come back and fight you for it". "Duuh, OK". My mate is black belt at judo. The kid didn't get off the ground for about 20 seconds after he'd received his pummeling. Now THAT is how to tackle young offenders.

I know how you feel, Essex is certainly slipping further down the toilet.
Everywhere you go, ranging from Basildon, Romford, Southend, Lakeside etc they are filled with braindead thugs intent on mindless acts of hooliganism or rowdyness.
Gangs of 10-16 year old spongs who've got nothing better to do than hang around in gangs and swear at passers-by or spit on the ground.
I actually pity them because they're just so stupid and they have know idea about how to behave like human beings.

Also you have to look at the news to see the rise in street crime, and how normal people aren't safe to walk the streets because they might get attacked by a gang of thugs.
Look at that guy who was attacked the other week; he took his kids home then returned out into the street to clean up some broken glass which some yobs had left behind, then he was beaten up very badly. Why? For just being there :(

If they catch the thugs that did it they should hang them.

I really worry for this country, because the problem of these badly behaved youths seems to have gotten a lot worse over the last 7 or 8 years, so God help us.