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Yes that's right, I'm from the black hole that is Harlow. Surrounded by the picturesque towns of Sawbridgeworth and Epping, you might be forgiven for mistaking it for a nice place...but you'd be wrong! For Harlow is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy since that place on that planet in Star Wars (geeky reference I know, but hey, it's my thread!). So why am I so peeved (substitute for "p****d off") with my home town at this moment in time? Well, I thought I'd be safe walking home from my girlfriend's house tonight. It's Saturday, everyone's out for a good time, but I come home early because it's my Mum's birthday tomorrow and I want to get some sleep. It's only a 5/10 minute walk past a school, main road and a pub. So why do some of the f*ckwits who live in this town think it's funny to throw eggs at people from passing cars. At first I thought the bloke was drunk or something - his car kept swerving - but now I know he was just lining his shot up! And a good shot it was too - hit me right on the arm...although I'm sure they were aiming for my face. Lucky for me I left my Mum's present round my girlfriend's house - I would not have been a happy bunny if they'd have wrecked that. My top needed a wash anyway.
I was angry.
But I'm a bigger man than that and found that raising my fist to the air and shouting "Waaaaaaaaankers" calmed me down. (I had my hand on the phone in my pocket ready to call someone if they turned around).
Cool...no anxiousness about if they come back or not...no paranoia, just a mindless act of random violence. I play games like that all the time...on my Playstation. Certainly not at 10:15 at night in a poofy white 4x4 with a big gay purple wheel on the back! Ha ha, I may have egg on my sleeve, but at least I don't have a gay car! Take that Mr Essex-boy!
So I thought that was it - my night of dodgy Essex-ness was over. Wrong! For round the corner were a bunch of 15 year old girls having a big spat about something *Essex-girl voice* "You know what I'm like when I've been drinking*. No, enlighten me, do you confuse Pidgeetoo with Pokewotsit? Didn't get involved though, just let them all walk into the middle of the road, secretly hoping they'd get crushed by Big Foot (the monster truck, not the man-beast).
Excellent, only five minutes into my journey and I've already witnessed 2 acts of oafness! And the third? A fight outside the pub of course! Obviously it's the pre-pubescant "Lads" that couldn't get in, so they took to buying from the off-license and drinking on the steps to the pub.
So that concludes my tale. I hate Harlow and can't wait to get back to Cambridge and get my head into my books and my studio. Sorry about the bad language, but I thought it was neccesary to convey the emotions that I'm feeling right now about living in a town where everyone is the village idiot.
I bid you good day, Sir!
I was angry.
But I'm a bigger man than that and found that raising my fist to the air and shouting "Waaaaaaaaankers" calmed me down. (I had my hand on the phone in my pocket ready to call someone if they turned around).
Cool...no anxiousness about if they come back or not...no paranoia, just a mindless act of random violence. I play games like that all the time...on my Playstation. Certainly not at 10:15 at night in a poofy white 4x4 with a big gay purple wheel on the back! Ha ha, I may have egg on my sleeve, but at least I don't have a gay car! Take that Mr Essex-boy!
So I thought that was it - my night of dodgy Essex-ness was over. Wrong! For round the corner were a bunch of 15 year old girls having a big spat about something *Essex-girl voice* "You know what I'm like when I've been drinking*. No, enlighten me, do you confuse Pidgeetoo with Pokewotsit? Didn't get involved though, just let them all walk into the middle of the road, secretly hoping they'd get crushed by Big Foot (the monster truck, not the man-beast).
Excellent, only five minutes into my journey and I've already witnessed 2 acts of oafness! And the third? A fight outside the pub of course! Obviously it's the pre-pubescant "Lads" that couldn't get in, so they took to buying from the off-license and drinking on the steps to the pub.
So that concludes my tale. I hate Harlow and can't wait to get back to Cambridge and get my head into my books and my studio. Sorry about the bad language, but I thought it was neccesary to convey the emotions that I'm feeling right now about living in a town where everyone is the village idiot.
I bid you good day, Sir!
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Just think yourself lucky, you could live in Romford!
Get mugged every time you walk down the town centre!
Get mugged every time you walk down the town centre!
Sorry about that. I had a really slow connection so it would not load up the updated page after you click the "Post This Message" button so I was not sure wether it had posted.
So you; think... It's, a, well. Dump? Then!
So you think it's a dump then?
I hate Harlow too. Thank God I live in Bishop's Stortford. I always stay well clear of Harlow because its such a dump.
I hate Harlow too, thank god I live in Bishop's Stortford. I always stay clear of Harlow as it is a dump.
You've got to accept that if the husband can get so annoyed he beats the woman over something smaall imagine how irate he'd be if she suggested/said/actually left?
Thats a big problem, and you can't just run away from it, although I do commend your dad, and the girl was probably grateful then, but imagine how bad it was when they got home.
Still, thumbs up to your da.
Thats a big problem, and you can't just run away from it, although I do commend your dad, and the girl was probably grateful then, but imagine how bad it was when they got home.
Still, thumbs up to your da.
Good call.
I guess the young lady didn't learn by it though after helping him back to the car.
Tsk.
I guess the young lady didn't learn by it though after helping him back to the car.
Tsk.
Bleeders wrote:
> Here's hoping that the bloke learned a lesson eh?
What lesson?
Only pick fights with people you know you'll beat? (Like women)
or Don't get caught?
I don't think these ash-holes ever learn.
If anything, the only lesson there is that the woman doesn't have to accept it.
Sounds like she didn't learn it though.
But good on your dad for stopping it, regardless.
> Here's hoping that the bloke learned a lesson eh?
What lesson?
Only pick fights with people you know you'll beat? (Like women)
or Don't get caught?
I don't think these ash-holes ever learn.
If anything, the only lesson there is that the woman doesn't have to accept it.
Sounds like she didn't learn it though.
But good on your dad for stopping it, regardless.
Heh, wish the girlfriend had too.
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