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All my life I'm confident around friends and family and those people but anybody I don't know or just meet I just come across like a boring git and it frustrates me... I'm not sure why but recently I've been thinking it's because when I talk with people I know well it's kind of personal and proper conversation... not just "chit-chap" to make conversation which I hate...
Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
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Reaper, if you're in a conversation and someone is boring you, just say " Sorry, you're boring me" and walk off.
I've done it, only once or twice, to people who were really boring, and it works all round.
They gain because they then know that they're boring and can then do somehing about it. You gain because you don't have to put up with listening to their crap.
"Say what you mean, and do what you say."
I've done it, only once or twice, to people who were really boring, and it works all round.
They gain because they then know that they're boring and can then do somehing about it. You gain because you don't have to put up with listening to their crap.
"Say what you mean, and do what you say."
When I meet someone new I usually go into overdrive - talk loads, crack lots of jokes and so on. It's a case of "attack is the best form of defence" because I feel I have very little self confidence.
Still, too much confidence can make you seem arrogant.
Still, too much confidence can make you seem arrogant.
Woo, I'm not alone...My parents constantly lecture me about how I need to be more conversive and ask more questions.. To be honest, I really don't care. I know I sound evil when I say it, but asking my mum "how was your day?" seems utterly pointless - I know exactly how her day will have been, if it was anything other than boring and normal she'll have come in screaming about it. I don't like asking questions I have no desire to know the answer to, it feels significantly more rude than just not asking anything, as I know my attention will wander and it'll become fairly obvious that I don't really want to know.
"You have to learn to make conversation", they say. "It's how the world works, even if you don't care, you have to appear polite". I hate that...I don't know why, I'm not really an unsociable person, but the only conversations I willingly enter in to are ones about something I care about, be it an interest or a friend, or ones that I enjoy. Judith's new handbag is not such a topic. I've been told I come across as rude, been shouted at for not saying enough and had countless guilt trips about "You just don't care about how much we do for you", usually ending in "I wish I didn't bother". I just give up. I'm quiet. I don't really like it, but a combination of not really wanting to make pointless small talk for the sake of it and not being able to say what I want to because of my own self confidence makes me come across as a really boring and selfish person. I know it does, I can't change it, however much I get shouted at and told to.
I might be like that actually, dunno, ask someone who knows me well. I don't really like me. I got my first direct compliment in ages yesterday, an actual reason why I'm not a completely dull geek. And it felt good, because I know she meant it. I've been told plenty that I'm a nice person, good to talk to and suchlike, I just can't make myself believe it.Got to the point fairly recently where I just stopped myself talking to some people, in case I depress them.. feel like this with all but 4 or 5 people, who Iknow I can just talk to, about anything, without having to worry myself. I'm not exactly image concious, I couldn't be much less popular, but I just don't like how I usualy come across, unless the other person really knows me..
Why do I only ever appear on SR now to write a long, depressing post, then run off again? Ah well, kindof resigning myself ot being me..at this point, I re-read that post, apologise for rambling and scurry off again..
"You have to learn to make conversation", they say. "It's how the world works, even if you don't care, you have to appear polite". I hate that...I don't know why, I'm not really an unsociable person, but the only conversations I willingly enter in to are ones about something I care about, be it an interest or a friend, or ones that I enjoy. Judith's new handbag is not such a topic. I've been told I come across as rude, been shouted at for not saying enough and had countless guilt trips about "You just don't care about how much we do for you", usually ending in "I wish I didn't bother". I just give up. I'm quiet. I don't really like it, but a combination of not really wanting to make pointless small talk for the sake of it and not being able to say what I want to because of my own self confidence makes me come across as a really boring and selfish person. I know it does, I can't change it, however much I get shouted at and told to.
I might be like that actually, dunno, ask someone who knows me well. I don't really like me. I got my first direct compliment in ages yesterday, an actual reason why I'm not a completely dull geek. And it felt good, because I know she meant it. I've been told plenty that I'm a nice person, good to talk to and suchlike, I just can't make myself believe it.Got to the point fairly recently where I just stopped myself talking to some people, in case I depress them.. feel like this with all but 4 or 5 people, who Iknow I can just talk to, about anything, without having to worry myself. I'm not exactly image concious, I couldn't be much less popular, but I just don't like how I usualy come across, unless the other person really knows me..
Why do I only ever appear on SR now to write a long, depressing post, then run off again? Ah well, kindof resigning myself ot being me..at this point, I re-read that post, apologise for rambling and scurry off again..
I can chat to people all day. I don't care if you've got 13 arms and are purple, I'll still have a chat with you.
People I know, people I don't know but who are friends of friends, I can chat to anyone.
As long as I've got something to talk about.
I can't just go up to a girl in a pub/club and chat them up. But if I've got something to talk to them about, then I'm fine. Even if it's just "are you next on the pool table?" I've had things go on quite nicely from there. But if I don't have that initial topic to chat about, I'm stuffed.
Basically, I can chat all day. Until I try and pull. Then I can't say a word.
Weird.
People I know, people I don't know but who are friends of friends, I can chat to anyone.
As long as I've got something to talk about.
I can't just go up to a girl in a pub/club and chat them up. But if I've got something to talk to them about, then I'm fine. Even if it's just "are you next on the pool table?" I've had things go on quite nicely from there. But if I don't have that initial topic to chat about, I'm stuffed.
Basically, I can chat all day. Until I try and pull. Then I can't say a word.
Weird.
SHEEPY wrote:
> Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
Crap.
> Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
Crap.
All my life I'm confident around friends and family and those people but anybody I don't know or just meet I just come across like a boring git and it frustrates me... I'm not sure why but recently I've been thinking it's because when I talk with people I know well it's kind of personal and proper conversation... not just "chit-chap" to make conversation which I hate...
Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?
Page: