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"Self Confidence"

All my life I'm confident around friends and family and those people but anybody I don't know or just meet I just come across like a boring git and it frustrates me... I'm not sure why but recently I've been thinking it's because when I talk with people I know well it's kind of personal and proper conversation... not just "chit-chap" to make conversation which I hate...

Anyway.. I need to go... so how is everybody's self confidence then?

Reading that post over makes me loathe myself.
F****g d**k.

Confidence.
I sometimes wonder whether it's really the problem, or the sympton of something else. I'm not sure though. Not yet. I mean, sure, confidence levels are caused, or effected, by other things, but could you say confidence itself is the 'problem' (well, for me it's usually in the context of being a problem), or just a mark of feelings of inadequacy, sort of a fear, whatever it may be?
Or maybe confidence *is* all those things.

I don't know. Maybe it's not even important.



But if i could get a run together, maybe it'd give me the confidence to succeed?
Bull. Confidence in that form is just in the mind. You can master it, act like you know you would if you had the confidence, and you'll reach the same things.

That's sort of how it goes in my head.


Then, i just think 'forget it all. None of it matters. Other people. Success, failure. None of it matters, so long as you try. Go do it.'
Never happens like that though, does it? Somewhere along the line i bottle it.

If i just had the run...

It's the other way around with me. I was the only one of my mates to stay on and do 6th form, and although I know everyone else who goes there, I don't particulary like any of them, and they don't like me. So as soon as someone has a party, and the people from 6th form are there AND my mates, they see a different me, because when I'm with my posse, I'm much more confident and always telling jokes and stuff. I hate 6th form, can't wait to leave so I never have to see the kids there

For me, my self confidence differs from where i am and who i am with.

At 6th form, around my so-called friends i dont have that much confidence in myself at all, and i have never been able to put my finger onto why this is at all. Its not always been like this, i use to be very happy with myself at school up till the beginning of this school year. Then for some reason the attitudes of my friends towards me began to change. They all constantly put me down, not nastily, just messing most of the time, but none of them ever have anything good to say about me. This really effects how i act around them, i am no longer able to tell a joke in fear of it falling flat and then being laughed at even more. I cant put my thoughts forward into a convo in case they all disagree with me, thus being made to be laughed at even more by them. In all honesty, at times they are not at all that friendly to me at all.

Away from 6th form though, im totally different. Im not with these friends all that much then, im with other people whether it be family or different friends, and im full of confidence then, i can make people laugh, im not afraid to say what i feel. Im much happier with myself.

I guess the obvious answer is to change my friends at 6th form, but thats hard. When your known as the quiet one who doesnt say much, then not many want anything to do with you. So i have to stay with these friends, because i can at least talk to these people. But they just dont make me feel good.

All i can do is look forward to when i leave to go to Uni or Work. A fresh start with all my confidence back with me.

I can always tell when someone likes me for who I am, because I am myself. May sound strange, but with many people I'm always racking my brain for something funny to say, especially with girls. But with the odd couple I can feel totally comfortable around them, and it works. 'Tis a great feeling, a shame that she lives 45 minutes away...sorry, blabbing on now. {:)

Just be yourself, and wait for someone that likes people for being who they are comes along.

When I was young I would make friends all the time and easily talk to people... but then some friends I trusted messed me up and sent me back the way and now I can only really talk to people I can trust... and not blowing my own trumpet but I rule around people I know... I'm just not sure how or what to talk about with people I don't know.

It can be a bit frustrating.

Goatboy wrote:
> It's not a case of "being smooth", if anything I've found
> that to be one of the easiest ways to guarantee you'll never score.
> Just be yourself, or a good imitation of yourself minus the nerves.



Definately the best advice. The WORST thing you can ever do is try and impress someone. It NEVER works. You will end up making no sense or insulting someone and looking a total peanut. Then your nerves get even more shot for the next time.

It seems to be a thing for lads to think 'ooo, hot chick, must go over and be really manly and make jokes and stuff'. They see right through you and even if you think you pulled it off, they are probably laughing the second you turn your back.

As soon as you realise that being yourself is what works, your confidence will grow and grow.

Or get them trolleyed and they'll probably be anyones after that.

Hm, its ok. I can talk to people, especially girls. Everyone thinks im sound, so, yeah, I have to be doing something right..

cookie monster wrote:
> My self confidence is poor, i only ever talk to my friends. I never
> talk to girls, because i melt into a void of nerves. And im quite
> witdrawn from society.

Have you no mates who are girls?

Don't worry mate, it'll come. How old are you?