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I hope SR won't object to this one, but there's no swearing in it or anything...
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic... but he has never had sex before so he makes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack or a family pack.
"I'm really going to give it to this girl", the boy tells the pharmacist, "I intend to plug every orifice in her body at least twice."
The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic... but he has never had sex before so he makes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack or a family pack.
"I'm really going to give it to this girl", the boy tells the pharmacist, "I intend to plug every orifice in her body at least twice."
The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
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Both heard before, but excellent anyway.
Must spend less time on jokes websites...
Must spend less time on jokes websites...
Fantastic
:D
:D
Both jokes, lol
WookieeMonster's joke: a semi-belly laugh kind of lol.
er-no's joke: a chuckle kind of lol.
er-no's joke: a chuckle kind of lol.
er-no wrote:
> Problem is... I don't know which joke they are 'lol'ing to.
Mine, obviously! ;-)
> Problem is... I don't know which joke they are 'lol'ing to.
Mine, obviously! ;-)
Problem is... I don't know which joke they are 'lol'ing to.
:D
:D
lol
LOL, good one
Yeah, I've heard that one before, er-no, it's a good one
And Wookie, yours was good too, never heard it before
And Wookie, yours was good too, never heard it before
Hmmm.... this is one I read ages ago.. will try and type it up for you with what I can remember:
A very rich women has just lost her husband and after over a year of being single she would like to find a new one but knows that men only marry her for her money. She places an advert in the local paper asking for a man that can follow three rules :
1. A man that will not beat me.
2. A man that will not run away.
3. A man that is excellent in bed.
Many potential husbands flocked to the house but sadly didn't meet the requirements. The women was extremely upset and realised that she might never find mr right.. and men only see the money. Then two months later the doorbell rings. She opens it to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the floor.
'Hello?'
'Hi, I am here about that advert you placed in the paper, I'm not exactly
going to run away from you, and there is no chance of me beating you...'
'ah-ha. What about the 3rd requirement?' She asks
'How do you think I rang the doorbell from all the way down here?'
A very rich women has just lost her husband and after over a year of being single she would like to find a new one but knows that men only marry her for her money. She places an advert in the local paper asking for a man that can follow three rules :
1. A man that will not beat me.
2. A man that will not run away.
3. A man that is excellent in bed.
Many potential husbands flocked to the house but sadly didn't meet the requirements. The women was extremely upset and realised that she might never find mr right.. and men only see the money. Then two months later the doorbell rings. She opens it to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the floor.
'Hello?'
'Hi, I am here about that advert you placed in the paper, I'm not exactly
going to run away from you, and there is no chance of me beating you...'
'ah-ha. What about the 3rd requirement?' She asks
'How do you think I rang the doorbell from all the way down here?'
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