The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
I now realise exactly why Nintendo market their games towards children and simpletons.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
Page:
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
I now realise exactly why Nintendo market their games towards children and simpletons.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
Page: