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I now realise exactly why Nintendo market their games towards children and simpletons.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
It’s not to “hook ‘em young” or any of the other reasons.
It’s not because the games are baby and colour-laden to keep the gurgling moptops happy.
No, Nintendo aim for kids for one reason and one reason only – to minimise damage to consoles.
Super Monkey Ball – looks simple and nice. But it’s the most aggravating, red-faced shouty, head hurtingly and pointlessly frustrating game I have ever played.
It starts ok, roll about and collect bananas etc and then WHAM, stupid levels that you need the dexterity and control of a goddamn robot to do.
The guitar level.
You have to roll along guitar strings. Bloody guitar strings.
I’m not going repeat the language used here in case children and priests see it and I get carried away to work in sulphur mines as punishment.
Suffice to say, it took many many many attempts before I abandoned all thought of getting bananas and just went for the exit.
I broke a controller on that level and made my girlfriend’s kitten hide under the bed.
I don’t mind difficult levels, it extends gaming time etc but there comes a point when you place the controller down, go outside and smoke before returning to the console, picking up the controller and hurling it outside against a brick wall.
Stupid game.
Utterly, infuriatingly frustrating.
So Nintendo aim at kids, that way their tiny fists can do no damage to the console, they just sit there and cry instead of screaming obscenities and engaging in controller/wall interface scenarios.
I hate Super Monkey Ball. I have neither the time nor the temper to throw myself at a level in the vain hope I’ll get through it.
But I did get past the guitar level, only to discover the next one – a wooden level to be even worse.
I’m selling this game to someone with the patience of a Sniper and going back to Rogue Squadron.
Stupid game.
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er-no wrote:
> No list is endless.... :P Name ten more this year.
errr, no :-P
> No list is endless.... :P Name ten more this year.
errr, no :-P
Gangsta Hamsta wrote:
> I'll stick with me PC and Jedi knight 2, GTA 3, Unreal Tourney 2003
> (in june - oh yes!), Deus Ex 2...... the list is endless.
No list is endless.... :P Name ten more this year.
> I'll stick with me PC and Jedi knight 2, GTA 3, Unreal Tourney 2003
> (in june - oh yes!), Deus Ex 2...... the list is endless.
No list is endless.... :P Name ten more this year.
Monkeys in balls don't appeal to me anyway - unless there is a cheat where you can whoop out a funning massive gun and blow each other up on multiplayer.
Or swing from trees like Tarzan
Rolling around a level looking for bananas and an exit sounds a little repetitive to me. I played Rogue leader and if was great. Certainly wouldn't warrant 150 quid on gamecube + that game though.
I'll stick with me PC and Jedi knight 2, GTA 3, Unreal Tourney 2003 (in june - oh yes!), Deus Ex 2...... the list is endless.
Or swing from trees like Tarzan
Rolling around a level looking for bananas and an exit sounds a little repetitive to me. I played Rogue leader and if was great. Certainly wouldn't warrant 150 quid on gamecube + that game though.
I'll stick with me PC and Jedi knight 2, GTA 3, Unreal Tourney 2003 (in june - oh yes!), Deus Ex 2...... the list is endless.
Part of what makes Monkey Ball so great is the ass-clenching difficulty of some of the levels means that you want to have "just one more go".
Not since Tetris on the Gameboy all those years ago has a game grabbed me so much that when I lose all my lives I just want to play it again to get that little bit further to see the next levels or beat by high scores.
Some of the levels may be slightly tough, but when you finish the harder levels, the feeling of accomplishment is great.
(And that guitar level is not that difficult!!)
Not since Tetris on the Gameboy all those years ago has a game grabbed me so much that when I lose all my lives I just want to play it again to get that little bit further to see the next levels or beat by high scores.
Some of the levels may be slightly tough, but when you finish the harder levels, the feeling of accomplishment is great.
(And that guitar level is not that difficult!!)
*Looks at thumb.*
I must be a robot then... my control of the monkey is now perfect.
Guitar level was easy... just go to the left platform, its wide and you just run straight. Bananas don't do much anyway.... few points and a life every 100.
I must be a robot then... my control of the monkey is now perfect.
Guitar level was easy... just go to the left platform, its wide and you just run straight. Bananas don't do much anyway.... few points and a life every 100.
Thanks for telling me. Like you i do get annoyed with stupidly frustation games(ie army men) Now i knew that i'll stay clear away from this one.
the only level on advanced that caused me agro was level 15. I hate it with a passion.
Beyond that, i only have trouble after about level 10 on expert...
Beyond that, i only have trouble after about level 10 on expert...
He he Goatboy can't do it and I can :D
*throws Banana at goatboy*
games made by Sega anyways...
games made by Sega anyways...
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