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Yes that's right, I've just come back from the 00:05 showing of "Attack of the Clones" - and it sucked big stylee! Lucas really blew it this time. Instead of making a film that explores the complex political and emotional side of..er..space travel, he made a bland, shallow advert for the legions of toys that'll be coming out around now. Don't get me wrong - I'm a huge Star Wars fan - but you would have thought he'd have learnt his lesson after "The Phantom Menace".
It all went wrong even before the opening monologue had begun - the advert for Dolby Surround Sound went wrong, resulting in the sound not playing until about half way through. People started laughing. Then they played that stupid advert about the boy getting hit by the car - just to depress everyone. Soon cheered up once the film had started though, but only until the first person opened their stupid mouth.
The acting in this film belongs in the Channel 5 9'O Clock movie. Awful, awful actors that I can only think he hired so that he could spend more on special effects. And, considering that Lucas owns the biggest and most advanced special effects company in the world, he could have used it more productively. Sure the battle scenes were great, but you could tell it just wasn't right, and the people interacting with the CGI monsters was all off.
And now some pros:
Yoda kicking sweet-ass for about a minute
Mace Windu going "This party's over", just like he would in Pulp Fiction!
Ewan McGregor was actually quite good.
Err...Stormtroopers?
Aaaaaaaaand back to the cons. Jimmy Smits was in it, but he appeared to be some kind of Victorian Pimp. Jango Fett had this strange 'ancient English history' theme going on aswell, by being a pirate. It all sucked. I own a digital camera that will do just over 3 minutes of film with sound. I might just go back and record the good bits for my viewing pleasure. Seriously though, if you want a good laugh, go and see it. There's one bit of acting after Padme falls into the desert that will make you poop your pant with the funny.
It sucked Lucas - and so do you. So you can forget EpIII, it's just not worth it...unless you kill all the characters and start again...and disown the trilogy you brought out in the 70s/80s and say they're not connected...and stop trying to camp up R2D2 and C3PO - they're not comic relief, that's what Jar Jar is for. Or was that Annakin? Either way it had me laughing.
You could just say "Lighten up man, it's just a movie about space and monsters and explosions. It's for kids.". But it's not. How can a film for kids handle love, respect, politics, war...all the things that concern adults daily. But it's not for adults either. Too many little cute things for kids to act as eye candy for merchandise. It's at cross purposes. On one hand Lucas has to make the film entertaining so that people actually watch it. But on the other the fim has to function with the story it has already been generated for it. The whole film felt as though it was on a schedule. That was the beauty of the original trilogy. Everything happened at it's own pace and unfolded into a brilliant piece of storytelling. With Episode 2 there were rules to follow about how the characters could react and behave. This constricted the movie to just a rehash of what we've already seen with "The Empire Strikes Back".
Comparing this movie to any of the others is impossible, though. Lucas has succedded in making 5 fairly different films. The trouble is that Ep1 and Ep2 were getting to be similar and I've got a feeling Ep3 will be more of the same. It's a shame really. This is the only film from the series that I've seen on the big screen and I was dissappointed. The previous trilogy was far more challenging in the relationships that grew between the characters. This one just seemed to plod along, accepting anything that happened along the way, before wrapping it up quickly at the end. If you're going for the love story, then you're not in for a treat. Lucas can't write for toffee and should have called it "Attack of the Mutes". That would be far more amusing - Annakin trying to seduce Padme by pretending to be stuck in a box, or walking his invisible dog!
Dammit, I've got so much to say about his movie!
The audience didn't respond too well to the film either - so it wasn't just me. It was mainly laughter. Everytime Yoda said something, they would laugh. Everytime Samuel L. Jackson said something, they would laugh. They knew what they wanted to see - and it was a million miles away from what star Wars used to be. It's become a parody of itself. Reduced to making Yoda fight for a cheap thrill. Sure it was funny, but that was it. Now he'll probably never do that again and it didn't seem special at all. Windu just traded on the fact that he was Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character in a gown. Which isn't a bad thing, but it hardly help Jackson's case for being typecast. There was no cheering or whooping at the end. Someone tried to clap, but it was a half-assed effort that fell flat on it's face.
Not a pleasant film to sit through. Having to wait for the next bit that you'll enjoy is a horrible feeling - almost cringeworthy. It's worth seeing for a few bits, but there's nothing new and nothing THAT interesting. I don't think I'll be seeing it again. Not that I wouldn't dismiss it, but I've seen the best bits and there wasn't enough to justify forking out the rental fee or the price of a DVD. What confused me the most was how the papers were ranting about how good it was. This is the sort of film that would normally get ripped to shreds by the critics, but for some reason it was left alone. Maybe they were distracted by the spaceships and explosions. Don't say "but...spaceships...explosions" - the movie should work on levels beyond special effects, but it failed to do so.
Bland, shallow, not for kids, not for adults. You work it out.
4 in the morning. I sleep now.
It all went wrong even before the opening monologue had begun - the advert for Dolby Surround Sound went wrong, resulting in the sound not playing until about half way through. People started laughing. Then they played that stupid advert about the boy getting hit by the car - just to depress everyone. Soon cheered up once the film had started though, but only until the first person opened their stupid mouth.
The acting in this film belongs in the Channel 5 9'O Clock movie. Awful, awful actors that I can only think he hired so that he could spend more on special effects. And, considering that Lucas owns the biggest and most advanced special effects company in the world, he could have used it more productively. Sure the battle scenes were great, but you could tell it just wasn't right, and the people interacting with the CGI monsters was all off.
And now some pros:
Yoda kicking sweet-ass for about a minute
Mace Windu going "This party's over", just like he would in Pulp Fiction!
Ewan McGregor was actually quite good.
Err...Stormtroopers?
Aaaaaaaaand back to the cons. Jimmy Smits was in it, but he appeared to be some kind of Victorian Pimp. Jango Fett had this strange 'ancient English history' theme going on aswell, by being a pirate. It all sucked. I own a digital camera that will do just over 3 minutes of film with sound. I might just go back and record the good bits for my viewing pleasure. Seriously though, if you want a good laugh, go and see it. There's one bit of acting after Padme falls into the desert that will make you poop your pant with the funny.
It sucked Lucas - and so do you. So you can forget EpIII, it's just not worth it...unless you kill all the characters and start again...and disown the trilogy you brought out in the 70s/80s and say they're not connected...and stop trying to camp up R2D2 and C3PO - they're not comic relief, that's what Jar Jar is for. Or was that Annakin? Either way it had me laughing.
You could just say "Lighten up man, it's just a movie about space and monsters and explosions. It's for kids.". But it's not. How can a film for kids handle love, respect, politics, war...all the things that concern adults daily. But it's not for adults either. Too many little cute things for kids to act as eye candy for merchandise. It's at cross purposes. On one hand Lucas has to make the film entertaining so that people actually watch it. But on the other the fim has to function with the story it has already been generated for it. The whole film felt as though it was on a schedule. That was the beauty of the original trilogy. Everything happened at it's own pace and unfolded into a brilliant piece of storytelling. With Episode 2 there were rules to follow about how the characters could react and behave. This constricted the movie to just a rehash of what we've already seen with "The Empire Strikes Back".
Comparing this movie to any of the others is impossible, though. Lucas has succedded in making 5 fairly different films. The trouble is that Ep1 and Ep2 were getting to be similar and I've got a feeling Ep3 will be more of the same. It's a shame really. This is the only film from the series that I've seen on the big screen and I was dissappointed. The previous trilogy was far more challenging in the relationships that grew between the characters. This one just seemed to plod along, accepting anything that happened along the way, before wrapping it up quickly at the end. If you're going for the love story, then you're not in for a treat. Lucas can't write for toffee and should have called it "Attack of the Mutes". That would be far more amusing - Annakin trying to seduce Padme by pretending to be stuck in a box, or walking his invisible dog!
Dammit, I've got so much to say about his movie!
The audience didn't respond too well to the film either - so it wasn't just me. It was mainly laughter. Everytime Yoda said something, they would laugh. Everytime Samuel L. Jackson said something, they would laugh. They knew what they wanted to see - and it was a million miles away from what star Wars used to be. It's become a parody of itself. Reduced to making Yoda fight for a cheap thrill. Sure it was funny, but that was it. Now he'll probably never do that again and it didn't seem special at all. Windu just traded on the fact that he was Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character in a gown. Which isn't a bad thing, but it hardly help Jackson's case for being typecast. There was no cheering or whooping at the end. Someone tried to clap, but it was a half-assed effort that fell flat on it's face.
Not a pleasant film to sit through. Having to wait for the next bit that you'll enjoy is a horrible feeling - almost cringeworthy. It's worth seeing for a few bits, but there's nothing new and nothing THAT interesting. I don't think I'll be seeing it again. Not that I wouldn't dismiss it, but I've seen the best bits and there wasn't enough to justify forking out the rental fee or the price of a DVD. What confused me the most was how the papers were ranting about how good it was. This is the sort of film that would normally get ripped to shreds by the critics, but for some reason it was left alone. Maybe they were distracted by the spaceships and explosions. Don't say "but...spaceships...explosions" - the movie should work on levels beyond special effects, but it failed to do so.
Bland, shallow, not for kids, not for adults. You work it out.
4 in the morning. I sleep now.
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C-3PO is totally different from AOTC to New Hope. In AOTC hes a mangy grey in NH he's golden, also there are so many R2 units in the universe how are you ment to remember a single one.
It was alright, not brilliant but better than Phantom Menace.
**spoilers below**
R2D2 should not have flown. Stupid, uneccessary gimmick. If he could fly, why didn't he do that in Empire when he was stuck in Dagobah swamp? Or in Jedi when he was on Jabba's Sail-Barge eh? Eh?
And when they went to see Owen and Beru, they had the droids with them. So why, in Star Wars, does "Uncle Owen" not recognise C3P0 and R2? He only chooses R2 because the red one blows up, but he's already met them in AOTC.
***end spoilers**
There were some nice touches, Anakin became more and more in shadow as he get more sulky, his cloak definitely had Vader shapes when he was walking about and the March of The Empire theme coming up was a good touch.
AOTC - I enjoyed it, but not anywhere near the originals.
**spoilers below**
R2D2 should not have flown. Stupid, uneccessary gimmick. If he could fly, why didn't he do that in Empire when he was stuck in Dagobah swamp? Or in Jedi when he was on Jabba's Sail-Barge eh? Eh?
And when they went to see Owen and Beru, they had the droids with them. So why, in Star Wars, does "Uncle Owen" not recognise C3P0 and R2? He only chooses R2 because the red one blows up, but he's already met them in AOTC.
***end spoilers**
There were some nice touches, Anakin became more and more in shadow as he get more sulky, his cloak definitely had Vader shapes when he was walking about and the March of The Empire theme coming up was a good touch.
AOTC - I enjoyed it, but not anywhere near the originals.
Fair enough - that's what opinions are for. Most people do agree on the quality of the acting and dialogue though. This is exactly the reason why I hated Blade 2 though. Just shove a bunch of explosions in people's faces and keep them happy. That doesn't cut it with me and I found it patronising and...well...crap. Not saying that it should win the nobel prize for words, but at least it could have aimed somewhere near the quality of the original holy trinity. Lucas managed to take a load of unknowns (except Alec Guinness) and get the best out of them. Now he has someone who looks like a knitwear model and Sesame Street rejects.
Nice one monkey man. Congrats on the GAD and the quality of the post, but I didn't entirely agree with you.
Liquid H²O wrote:
> I went yesterday, and I thought that Attack of the Clones was very
> good. My favourite bits were t the beginning and the end when Yoda
> started fighting. It was also good the way they linked everything in,
> so that you could see that Anakin was turning to the Dark side...
****SPOILERS*****
The subtlties were the only good thing about the film in my opinion.
Did anyone else notice that when Anakin says "I hate them, I hate them all" about them guys who killed his mum, he slumps down and the music changes to the darkside music. You know, the music that plays in episodes 4-6 whenever Darth Vader comes on screen. Clever I thought.
Well I noticed anyway (because I rock. And Stuff)
> I went yesterday, and I thought that Attack of the Clones was very
> good. My favourite bits were t the beginning and the end when Yoda
> started fighting. It was also good the way they linked everything in,
> so that you could see that Anakin was turning to the Dark side...
****SPOILERS*****
The subtlties were the only good thing about the film in my opinion.
Did anyone else notice that when Anakin says "I hate them, I hate them all" about them guys who killed his mum, he slumps down and the music changes to the darkside music. You know, the music that plays in episodes 4-6 whenever Darth Vader comes on screen. Clever I thought.
Well I noticed anyway (because I rock. And Stuff)
Saw it today, and it funning well rocked.
Can't say I understood the story at all, but it had lots of Jedi fighting lots of baddies. Thats all I need.
Can't say I understood the story at all, but it had lots of Jedi fighting lots of baddies. Thats all I need.
I went yesterday, and I thought that Attack of the Clones was very good. My favourite bits were t the beginning and the end when Yoda started fighting. It was also good the way they linked everything in, so that you could see that Anakin was turning to the Dark side...
You just KNEW Yoda was thinking
"Hmm, come get some you will, hmm, yes" when he did his ninja thing
"Hmm, come get some you will, hmm, yes" when he did his ninja thing
Since when could R2D2 fly? You can't just add in things like that!
The Yoda scene near the end was highly comic, but a complete travesty as far as star wars is concerned - but then, by that point it's all gone so far wrong you can't help but laugh.
I did love the scene with the drug pusher though. Has to be the most amusing part of the entire film.
It's worth seeing in my opinion, but only because it gives you something to talk about...
The Yoda scene near the end was highly comic, but a complete travesty as far as star wars is concerned - but then, by that point it's all gone so far wrong you can't help but laugh.
I did love the scene with the drug pusher though. Has to be the most amusing part of the entire film.
It's worth seeing in my opinion, but only because it gives you something to talk about...
It was a very good enjoyable film.
Just a shame it was a star wars movie because it could never have lived up to the originals. Same with TPM.
The icing on the cake though, was Yoda with a lightsaber. It was the sort of thing I would have put in a star wars p#ss take.
As a film its great. As episode 2, it sucks.
Just a shame it was a star wars movie because it could never have lived up to the originals. Same with TPM.
The icing on the cake though, was Yoda with a lightsaber. It was the sort of thing I would have put in a star wars p#ss take.
As a film its great. As episode 2, it sucks.
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