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Yes that's right, I've just come back from the 00:05 showing of "Attack of the Clones" - and it sucked big stylee! Lucas really blew it this time. Instead of making a film that explores the complex political and emotional side of..er..space travel, he made a bland, shallow advert for the legions of toys that'll be coming out around now. Don't get me wrong - I'm a huge Star Wars fan - but you would have thought he'd have learnt his lesson after "The Phantom Menace".
It all went wrong even before the opening monologue had begun - the advert for Dolby Surround Sound went wrong, resulting in the sound not playing until about half way through. People started laughing. Then they played that stupid advert about the boy getting hit by the car - just to depress everyone. Soon cheered up once the film had started though, but only until the first person opened their stupid mouth.
The acting in this film belongs in the Channel 5 9'O Clock movie. Awful, awful actors that I can only think he hired so that he could spend more on special effects. And, considering that Lucas owns the biggest and most advanced special effects company in the world, he could have used it more productively. Sure the battle scenes were great, but you could tell it just wasn't right, and the people interacting with the CGI monsters was all off.
And now some pros:
Yoda kicking sweet-ass for about a minute
Mace Windu going "This party's over", just like he would in Pulp Fiction!
Ewan McGregor was actually quite good.
Err...Stormtroopers?
Aaaaaaaaand back to the cons. Jimmy Smits was in it, but he appeared to be some kind of Victorian Pimp. Jango Fett had this strange 'ancient English history' theme going on aswell, by being a pirate. It all sucked. I own a digital camera that will do just over 3 minutes of film with sound. I might just go back and record the good bits for my viewing pleasure. Seriously though, if you want a good laugh, go and see it. There's one bit of acting after Padme falls into the desert that will make you poop your pant with the funny.
It sucked Lucas - and so do you. So you can forget EpIII, it's just not worth it...unless you kill all the characters and start again...and disown the trilogy you brought out in the 70s/80s and say they're not connected...and stop trying to camp up R2D2 and C3PO - they're not comic relief, that's what Jar Jar is for. Or was that Annakin? Either way it had me laughing.
You could just say "Lighten up man, it's just a movie about space and monsters and explosions. It's for kids.". But it's not. How can a film for kids handle love, respect, politics, war...all the things that concern adults daily. But it's not for adults either. Too many little cute things for kids to act as eye candy for merchandise. It's at cross purposes. On one hand Lucas has to make the film entertaining so that people actually watch it. But on the other the fim has to function with the story it has already been generated for it. The whole film felt as though it was on a schedule. That was the beauty of the original trilogy. Everything happened at it's own pace and unfolded into a brilliant piece of storytelling. With Episode 2 there were rules to follow about how the characters could react and behave. This constricted the movie to just a rehash of what we've already seen with "The Empire Strikes Back".
Comparing this movie to any of the others is impossible, though. Lucas has succedded in making 5 fairly different films. The trouble is that Ep1 and Ep2 were getting to be similar and I've got a feeling Ep3 will be more of the same. It's a shame really. This is the only film from the series that I've seen on the big screen and I was dissappointed. The previous trilogy was far more challenging in the relationships that grew between the characters. This one just seemed to plod along, accepting anything that happened along the way, before wrapping it up quickly at the end. If you're going for the love story, then you're not in for a treat. Lucas can't write for toffee and should have called it "Attack of the Mutes". That would be far more amusing - Annakin trying to seduce Padme by pretending to be stuck in a box, or walking his invisible dog!
Dammit, I've got so much to say about his movie!
The audience didn't respond too well to the film either - so it wasn't just me. It was mainly laughter. Everytime Yoda said something, they would laugh. Everytime Samuel L. Jackson said something, they would laugh. They knew what they wanted to see - and it was a million miles away from what star Wars used to be. It's become a parody of itself. Reduced to making Yoda fight for a cheap thrill. Sure it was funny, but that was it. Now he'll probably never do that again and it didn't seem special at all. Windu just traded on the fact that he was Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character in a gown. Which isn't a bad thing, but it hardly help Jackson's case for being typecast. There was no cheering or whooping at the end. Someone tried to clap, but it was a half-assed effort that fell flat on it's face.
Not a pleasant film to sit through. Having to wait for the next bit that you'll enjoy is a horrible feeling - almost cringeworthy. It's worth seeing for a few bits, but there's nothing new and nothing THAT interesting. I don't think I'll be seeing it again. Not that I wouldn't dismiss it, but I've seen the best bits and there wasn't enough to justify forking out the rental fee or the price of a DVD. What confused me the most was how the papers were ranting about how good it was. This is the sort of film that would normally get ripped to shreds by the critics, but for some reason it was left alone. Maybe they were distracted by the spaceships and explosions. Don't say "but...spaceships...explosions" - the movie should work on levels beyond special effects, but it failed to do so.
Bland, shallow, not for kids, not for adults. You work it out.
4 in the morning. I sleep now.
It all went wrong even before the opening monologue had begun - the advert for Dolby Surround Sound went wrong, resulting in the sound not playing until about half way through. People started laughing. Then they played that stupid advert about the boy getting hit by the car - just to depress everyone. Soon cheered up once the film had started though, but only until the first person opened their stupid mouth.
The acting in this film belongs in the Channel 5 9'O Clock movie. Awful, awful actors that I can only think he hired so that he could spend more on special effects. And, considering that Lucas owns the biggest and most advanced special effects company in the world, he could have used it more productively. Sure the battle scenes were great, but you could tell it just wasn't right, and the people interacting with the CGI monsters was all off.
And now some pros:
Yoda kicking sweet-ass for about a minute
Mace Windu going "This party's over", just like he would in Pulp Fiction!
Ewan McGregor was actually quite good.
Err...Stormtroopers?
Aaaaaaaaand back to the cons. Jimmy Smits was in it, but he appeared to be some kind of Victorian Pimp. Jango Fett had this strange 'ancient English history' theme going on aswell, by being a pirate. It all sucked. I own a digital camera that will do just over 3 minutes of film with sound. I might just go back and record the good bits for my viewing pleasure. Seriously though, if you want a good laugh, go and see it. There's one bit of acting after Padme falls into the desert that will make you poop your pant with the funny.
It sucked Lucas - and so do you. So you can forget EpIII, it's just not worth it...unless you kill all the characters and start again...and disown the trilogy you brought out in the 70s/80s and say they're not connected...and stop trying to camp up R2D2 and C3PO - they're not comic relief, that's what Jar Jar is for. Or was that Annakin? Either way it had me laughing.
You could just say "Lighten up man, it's just a movie about space and monsters and explosions. It's for kids.". But it's not. How can a film for kids handle love, respect, politics, war...all the things that concern adults daily. But it's not for adults either. Too many little cute things for kids to act as eye candy for merchandise. It's at cross purposes. On one hand Lucas has to make the film entertaining so that people actually watch it. But on the other the fim has to function with the story it has already been generated for it. The whole film felt as though it was on a schedule. That was the beauty of the original trilogy. Everything happened at it's own pace and unfolded into a brilliant piece of storytelling. With Episode 2 there were rules to follow about how the characters could react and behave. This constricted the movie to just a rehash of what we've already seen with "The Empire Strikes Back".
Comparing this movie to any of the others is impossible, though. Lucas has succedded in making 5 fairly different films. The trouble is that Ep1 and Ep2 were getting to be similar and I've got a feeling Ep3 will be more of the same. It's a shame really. This is the only film from the series that I've seen on the big screen and I was dissappointed. The previous trilogy was far more challenging in the relationships that grew between the characters. This one just seemed to plod along, accepting anything that happened along the way, before wrapping it up quickly at the end. If you're going for the love story, then you're not in for a treat. Lucas can't write for toffee and should have called it "Attack of the Mutes". That would be far more amusing - Annakin trying to seduce Padme by pretending to be stuck in a box, or walking his invisible dog!
Dammit, I've got so much to say about his movie!
The audience didn't respond too well to the film either - so it wasn't just me. It was mainly laughter. Everytime Yoda said something, they would laugh. Everytime Samuel L. Jackson said something, they would laugh. They knew what they wanted to see - and it was a million miles away from what star Wars used to be. It's become a parody of itself. Reduced to making Yoda fight for a cheap thrill. Sure it was funny, but that was it. Now he'll probably never do that again and it didn't seem special at all. Windu just traded on the fact that he was Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character in a gown. Which isn't a bad thing, but it hardly help Jackson's case for being typecast. There was no cheering or whooping at the end. Someone tried to clap, but it was a half-assed effort that fell flat on it's face.
Not a pleasant film to sit through. Having to wait for the next bit that you'll enjoy is a horrible feeling - almost cringeworthy. It's worth seeing for a few bits, but there's nothing new and nothing THAT interesting. I don't think I'll be seeing it again. Not that I wouldn't dismiss it, but I've seen the best bits and there wasn't enough to justify forking out the rental fee or the price of a DVD. What confused me the most was how the papers were ranting about how good it was. This is the sort of film that would normally get ripped to shreds by the critics, but for some reason it was left alone. Maybe they were distracted by the spaceships and explosions. Don't say "but...spaceships...explosions" - the movie should work on levels beyond special effects, but it failed to do so.
Bland, shallow, not for kids, not for adults. You work it out.
4 in the morning. I sleep now.
Page:
You just KNOW Yoda was thinking
"Hmm, come get some you will, hmm, yes"
"Hmm, come get some you will, hmm, yes"
funniest bit in sta wars:
AOTC: when yoda waves his hands in the air like some tacky jappanese judo master. A bit like a minature morpheus from the matrix!
Quality stuff! had me rollin in the isles!
AOTC: when yoda waves his hands in the air like some tacky jappanese judo master. A bit like a minature morpheus from the matrix!
Quality stuff! had me rollin in the isles!
Pringle28 wrote:
> ROTJ: the end explosion where lando flys the falcon just out of the
> hull in time is amazing but My favourite all time star wars bit is the
> battle over the sailbarge. every time the ship blows up and crashs
> into the sand I jump in the air!
Best bit in ROTJ is when Vader is taunting Luke, and Luke flips and starts "owning" Vader. The music kicks in and Luke is beating the heck outta his old man. That ruled
> ROTJ: the end explosion where lando flys the falcon just out of the
> hull in time is amazing but My favourite all time star wars bit is the
> battle over the sailbarge. every time the ship blows up and crashs
> into the sand I jump in the air!
Best bit in ROTJ is when Vader is taunting Luke, and Luke flips and starts "owning" Vader. The music kicks in and Luke is beating the heck outta his old man. That ruled
sttryke wrote:
>How can you say Empire is the worst?
>It's the best of the original trilogy. By far.
>It has Hoth, for Christs sake. And "No. I am your father"
I never said it was the worst! i love evry thing about every episode and their is only a marginal gap between all 5! ok then how about I do my favourite part from each film:
ESB: when darth vader tells luke who he really is.
TPM: podracing was incredible.
ANH: "now lets blow this thing and go home". (explosion) ships just about get away. that was one of my favourite bits in all of the films.
AOTC: its got to be yoda fighting but then again it could be jango fett and obi wan scrapping it out. I also enjoyed the war. that was amazing.
ROTJ: the end explosion where lando flys the falcon just out of the hull in time is amazing but My favourite all time star wars bit is the battle over the sailbarge. every time the ship blows up and crashs into the sand I jump in the air!
By the way the list above is not in order and i like alot more scenes than just those but those are all my main faves.
>How can you say Empire is the worst?
>It's the best of the original trilogy. By far.
>It has Hoth, for Christs sake. And "No. I am your father"
I never said it was the worst! i love evry thing about every episode and their is only a marginal gap between all 5! ok then how about I do my favourite part from each film:
ESB: when darth vader tells luke who he really is.
TPM: podracing was incredible.
ANH: "now lets blow this thing and go home". (explosion) ships just about get away. that was one of my favourite bits in all of the films.
AOTC: its got to be yoda fighting but then again it could be jango fett and obi wan scrapping it out. I also enjoyed the war. that was amazing.
ROTJ: the end explosion where lando flys the falcon just out of the hull in time is amazing but My favourite all time star wars bit is the battle over the sailbarge. every time the ship blows up and crashs into the sand I jump in the air!
By the way the list above is not in order and i like alot more scenes than just those but those are all my main faves.
ssxpro wrote:
> As for the movie as a whole, monkeyman is entitled to his opinion, but
> don`t let it put you off going. I liked it a lot personally, and so
> did a lot of other people, so its best to go and see it and decide for
> yourself.
I did reccomend going to see it. It just didn't live up to the high standards of the original trilogy, which disappointed me.
> As for the movie as a whole, monkeyman is entitled to his opinion, but
> don`t let it put you off going. I liked it a lot personally, and so
> did a lot of other people, so its best to go and see it and decide for
> yourself.
I did reccomend going to see it. It just didn't live up to the high standards of the original trilogy, which disappointed me.
ssxpro wrote:
>>
> Threepio: Why yes sir! Anakin! It is you! It is you!
--
A sketch from Monty Python beckons...
Vader: Oh yes, just what I wanted. Now let me pass.
Threepio: The maker! The maker! Master Annie!
Vader: (ignites lightsaber) I'll have your arm.
Threepio: Oh, I love you Master Annie!
Vader: RIGHT! Your arms off.
>>
> Threepio: Why yes sir! Anakin! It is you! It is you!
--
A sketch from Monty Python beckons...
Vader: Oh yes, just what I wanted. Now let me pass.
Threepio: The maker! The maker! Master Annie!
Vader: (ignites lightsaber) I'll have your arm.
Threepio: Oh, I love you Master Annie!
Vader: RIGHT! Your arms off.
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> I know at one point on the barge, they were wearing those restraining
> bolt things, so that could have prevented R2 flying.
I`d guess that with the sailbarge it was the restraining bolt as you say, and then on Dagobah it might have just been a little too damp. Thats what I told myself anyway :D
> As for C-3P0, I'd suspect that at some point he has some kind of
> disaster. We know that his body obviously gets totally replaced
> somewhere along the line, so maybe there's a possibility of a memory
> wipe too?
I guess he`ll get his body work replaced as you say so that he`s all golden again (in a similar way to Artoo at the end of ep4). As for the memory wipe, they`re always on about how Threepio and Artoo never get memory wipes, so I`m not so sure about that. They spend their lives becoming more and more eccentric.
> After all, one of the biggest questions is how come C-3P0 doesn't know
> that Vader is Anakin in Ep. 4 (the original Star Wars film), when it
> was Anakin who built him?
Maybe its the new hairstyle... or possibly the black outfit. :D
Also, do you ever see Vader and Threepio sit down and have a chat about old times?
Vader: Its been a while since I was on Tatooine.
Threepio: You were on Tatooine sir? Sow as I many years ago, which reminds me how much I hate space travel.
Vader: Hang on, I made a droid back then, but he wasn't golden. My name used to be Anakin, ring any bells?
Threepio: Why yes sir! Anakin! It is you! It is you!
:D
As for the movie as a whole, monkeyman is entitled to his opinion, but don`t let it put you off going. I liked it a lot personally, and so did a lot of other people, so its best to go and see it and decide for yourself.
> I know at one point on the barge, they were wearing those restraining
> bolt things, so that could have prevented R2 flying.
I`d guess that with the sailbarge it was the restraining bolt as you say, and then on Dagobah it might have just been a little too damp. Thats what I told myself anyway :D
> As for C-3P0, I'd suspect that at some point he has some kind of
> disaster. We know that his body obviously gets totally replaced
> somewhere along the line, so maybe there's a possibility of a memory
> wipe too?
I guess he`ll get his body work replaced as you say so that he`s all golden again (in a similar way to Artoo at the end of ep4). As for the memory wipe, they`re always on about how Threepio and Artoo never get memory wipes, so I`m not so sure about that. They spend their lives becoming more and more eccentric.
> After all, one of the biggest questions is how come C-3P0 doesn't know
> that Vader is Anakin in Ep. 4 (the original Star Wars film), when it
> was Anakin who built him?
Maybe its the new hairstyle... or possibly the black outfit. :D
Also, do you ever see Vader and Threepio sit down and have a chat about old times?
Vader: Its been a while since I was on Tatooine.
Threepio: You were on Tatooine sir? Sow as I many years ago, which reminds me how much I hate space travel.
Vader: Hang on, I made a droid back then, but he wasn't golden. My name used to be Anakin, ring any bells?
Threepio: Why yes sir! Anakin! It is you! It is you!
:D
As for the movie as a whole, monkeyman is entitled to his opinion, but don`t let it put you off going. I liked it a lot personally, and so did a lot of other people, so its best to go and see it and decide for yourself.
How can you say Empire is the worst?
It's the best of the original trilogy. By far.
It has Hoth, for Christs sake. And "No. I am your father."
It's the best of the original trilogy. By far.
It has Hoth, for Christs sake. And "No. I am your father."
I having seen the last three episodes, I'm gonna watch them in chronological order. I thought Phantom Menace was ok, but AOTC was pure class. sure, it had its flaws. I was a little skeptical when the first line was delivered... the guy telling Padmé's dummy that they were ready to land, you could see him physically forcing the line out of his mouth!
But apart from some suspect acting this film is brilliant, definitely seeing it again.
But apart from some suspect acting this film is brilliant, definitely seeing it again.
This film is awesome!!
Im a star wars nutter and know every thing to do with star wars.
The best bit was when count dooku said they will not find what we are working on and held up the projecter field of the death star!!
That is the first part wvee seen that conects with the original film. oh other than meeting lukes foster parents.
It was the second best film in the sequence by along way.
heres my ranking:
5.empire strikes back
4.speisode 1 phantom menace
3.star wars a new hope
2.episode 2 atack of the clones
1.return of the jedi
Return of the jedi is the ultimate!
I still jump up and yell when they blow up the second death star at the end!
In the cinema i went to a kid started crying when anikan said about how he slaughtered the children and the women!!!
thats how powerful the film was!
or it was just some brat getting nightmares!
Im a star wars nutter and know every thing to do with star wars.
The best bit was when count dooku said they will not find what we are working on and held up the projecter field of the death star!!
That is the first part wvee seen that conects with the original film. oh other than meeting lukes foster parents.
It was the second best film in the sequence by along way.
heres my ranking:
5.empire strikes back
4.speisode 1 phantom menace
3.star wars a new hope
2.episode 2 atack of the clones
1.return of the jedi
Return of the jedi is the ultimate!
I still jump up and yell when they blow up the second death star at the end!
In the cinema i went to a kid started crying when anikan said about how he slaughtered the children and the women!!!
thats how powerful the film was!
or it was just some brat getting nightmares!
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