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"24 things wrong with 24"

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Sat 11/05/02 at 00:39
Regular
Posts: 787
1. Mobile phones in hospitals. Nup, ain't going to happen. It inteferes with the equipment, you see. A friend of mine kept trying to use hers in casualty and almost had to be readmitted due to the great vengeance and furious anger of the duty nurse. Even Jack Bauer would have had some trouble dealing with that.

2. Almeida's beard. It really is cruel to kill a mouse and then use its pelt as a piece of facial hair: just cruel. How could such a man gain a position of authority in CTU?

3. Jack's table manners. Not too much of a spoiler here, but in a later episode we DO get to see Jack eat; frankly it was reminiscent of a pig at a trough. And yet this man still has beautiful women falling all over him.

4. Jack's bladder. How big exactly is it? Big enough that, if Richard Branson were to inflate the thing, he could attempt another hot-air balloon record? Or bigger even than that? Big enough to swallow the earth?

5. Jack's car. It doesn't talk? Did David Hasselhof make Knightrider for NOTHING?

6. Mobile phones II. You ring, they answer. Sound familiar? Thought not. No dropped connections, no random redirections to voicemail etc etc. What network are these people on?

7. Mobile phones III. Everyone has the same mobile. I can only presume that the producers bought themselves a great big box of the things down the market. I mean, surely a woman of Nina's obvious sophistication would have a snap-on cover - possibly in cowskin - or, at the very least, a snazzy ringtone. No wonder Jack dumped her.

8. The female Bauer gene. Any dangerous situation will act as an irresistible magnet for Kim or Terri, but at the last minute a magical repulsion will set in, causing the bullet/car/bomb to miss by a whisker.

9. Ira 'all seeing' Gaines, a man who has somehow hacked into every single CCTV camera in the city - how did he do that then?

10. Mobile phones IV. Does triangulating a signal really take so long? I thought the networks knew where we were every second of every day so that they could reccomend restaraunts to us: or in Gaines' case, secret hideouts. Why don't they just FIND these people.

11. CTU headquarters. Given that CTU peeps are constantly whining about being overstretched, why in god's name did they spend so much money on interior designers? I admit it looks cool: but shouldn't they be fighting terrorists instead of keeping Laurence Lllewellyn Bowen in stripy pants?

12. Jamey Farrell's chin. Ugh.

13. Ira 'not-so-all-seeing' Gaines and Rick. For a man clever enough to hack all of LA's security cameras, Gaines really lets himself down by promoting some loser kid with a crush on his hostage into a position of immediate authority. In future episodes: Gaines hands Rick a nuclear warhead and $50,000,000 'just to look after'.

14. So Mr Miyagi is sent to kill the women: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PULL A DAMN TRIGGER????

15. Kim's stylist, make-up artist etc. Stop work people! The girl has been kidnapped, punched, chased and terrorised; she has seen her friend left for dead, and her mum raped. I think it's OK that she looks a little tousled - she doesn't have to go to the prom.

16. Kim's stylist II. Why is that top not cut a little lower?

17. How come something REALLY exciting happens at almost exactly 59 minutes past every hour?

18. Ira 'not-so-all-seeing' Gaines II. If you're going to run such a brilliant terrorist operation, is it really too much trouble to actually CHECK if people are dead?

19. The news. Headline: Senator Palmer to have breakfast - says, I expect two slices of French toast, bacon, coffee and orange juice; Republicans condemn the move as unpatriotic. In other news: Senator Palmer expects to visit a school. Oh yes, and a few hours ago a plane or something blew up in Nevada.

20. Keith Palmer. In the absence of any discernible acting ability, he seems to express all emotion as a kind of subtle build up of physical pressure in his head. I predict he will explode by 9pm.

21. Magic freeways. Any location in under five minutes - or your money back.

22. Not so magical freeways. Unless that location is somewhere that you really need to get to. Then you'll probably arrive five or ten seconds too late.

23. Why is everyone EXCEPT Jack Bauer so utterly incompetent? He can sneak out of a locked down CTU, get a prisoner out of a police station, escape road blocks and avoid statewide manhunts. Is he Osama Bin Laden in disguise?

24. The self-destruct button. What's that you say? You're about to give Jack a vital piece of information that will ensure the safety of his family and Senator Palmer? You're going to tell him now? OK, hang on I'll get him...Jack! Jack! Quick!...OK, now tell him...Oh, you're dead.

Any more?
Thu 16/05/02 at 14:18
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
I thought it was a much better episode than 'Invincible metal man' and 'tiny body snatching munchkin', although it and other episodes really are naff compared to the earlier series. It no longer matters to me anymore if I miss an episode on x-files since the series on a whole no longer interests me as much as it used to.
Wed 15/05/02 at 19:31
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
Oh no, I didn't think much of that bat episode at all.

I could do a lot better than those FBI agents if I had a gun I can tell you that right now. Okay, so maybe I couldn't make some of the connections that they make (eg. a dead guy has metal in his blood so Dogget immediately realises that they are looking for a metal man!) but I could have done a lot better than Scully did when she heard the bat on the roof.
Wed 15/05/02 at 10:50
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
I thought a episode a few weeks ago was, well not scary but a little spooky, it was the one about the giant bat man. I think the show was really good until the creature actually showed itself and basically looked like a man with wings stuck to his arms.

Too bad because that episode was quite good I think, allot better than some of the recent episodes anyway.
Tue 14/05/02 at 19:23
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
I know! Does anyone actually find The X-Files scary?! I mean ANYONE!!

I remember a few from the earlier series which scared the hell outta me but I was pretty young.

Lately though, there's been quite a few attempted scary ones that just aren't scary in the least.

Do you remember the raven woman one? That was a complete joke!
Tue 14/05/02 at 10:28
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
Damn it! I missed next week’s show of 24 on BBC choice. Oh well I'll catch up next week then.

The X-files, WTF!!! That little guy with no legs just looked like a giant potato, was he supposed to be scary? The show has really started to go downhill, I can only hope it recovers itself before the series finally finishes.
Mon 13/05/02 at 18:53
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
The one last night was pretty good but they seem to have turned it into an ultra slick show. The way they have all the fast beats playing constantly, and Jack's cool matrix-style shades at the end. :-d

But they introduced SO MANY new characters! I could barely keep up!

The X-Files was completely dismal as usual! Why didn't the kid just run up and boot the little fella in the head?!
Sun 12/05/02 at 21:01
Regular
"relocated"
Posts: 2,833
cipro wrote:
> blahpro wrote:
> I don't actually watch 24!
>
> Then your missing out on one of the best shows on the telly at the
> moment. It'll be too late to start watching it now though.

But if you've got broadband then you could download them. This is morally acceptable as long as you think about products you might like to buy every fifteen minutes.
Sun 12/05/02 at 20:58
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
blahpro wrote:
> I don't actually watch 24!

Then your missing out on one of the best shows on the telly at the moment. It'll be too late to start watching it now though.
Sun 12/05/02 at 20:37
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
I don't actually watch 24!
Sun 12/05/02 at 18:44
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
Thats the problem with digital TV, they seem to show the best stuff earlier than normal telly. And my digital TV service is pi$s slow which is strange because its only just got a make over which was supposed to make it easier to navigate. Overrated.

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