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This is why “nu-metal” is cheesy crap and appeals to the lowest and easiest target-market:
Sulky, confused male-teens shut in their bedrooms thinking everyone hates them when everyone is just wondering why little Timmy is such a grumpy tool.
And one of the worst offenders of this shouty-shorts rock is Papa Roach.
Now if you like them, I’m not having a dig at you, I’m merely saying that Papa Roach are at the vanguard of contrived red-faced running-upstairs-and-slamming-the-door rock.
Rock is supposed to be about having fun, drinking with your mates, enjoying life and realising that god gave rock and roll to you.
It’s not meant to be an outlet for teen angst, go buy Alanis Morisette for that sort of thing. Hey man, she like…totally feels your disaffected discombobulation. Buy her records and empathise with the knowledge that she may be a multi-millionairess but she feels your pain.
Rock is a celebration of big loud fun.
If I go to a rock gig, I want to stand there with a big grin on ma face and shout along with an arm around my mate’s shoulder as we quaff cold beer and stare at boobs. I don’t want to wear a hoodie and pretend that life sucks “man” and “Life’s Not Fair”.
I’m there to singalong and go home feeling happy because I’ve spent the past 90 mins in the company of rock.
Rock = Ruling the world with riffs. It’s being allowed the chance to live a life you want to, so bloody celebrate that instead of writing songs about how much jobs suck and isn’t it all so tough.
That’s why I love Clutch.
They absolutely have the right idea. The music is riotous, loud and makes you feel happy. But not happy in a “Aren’t S-Club just the greatest!!!” kind of stupid happy.
But happy because you know they’re having a fantastic time recording that, and if you ever see them live, the singer spends most of the gig with a big stupid grin and dancing like an old man, high-fiving the audience at the front of the stage.,
Grix can tell you, they may be loud but damn if they don’t play the funky tunes. Not James Brown funky (although that too is good), but raw dirty-blues tinged funky tunes.
So on the one hand, you have a bunch of guys in jeans making music for the sakes of it, fantastic tunes you can tap along to and play when the sun is out and you have mates in the garden barbecuing.
Or you can listen to guys being profesionally cynical and writing songs about how rubbish everything is, a designed contrived and ultimately silly outlook. Because boys outgrow that “I hate you” phase and move into “I rule”, exactly like Kevin the Teenager from Harry Enfield.
Check the lyrics below for an example of what rock is and should be.
Clutch singing “Pure Rock Fury”. A celebration of nonsensical rockness.
----
“Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River
That’s right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board
Andretti’s never raced me but if he want’s to?
Oh I’m ready, ready
Co-ordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point
But I make due with what I have
Pure Rock Fury the solution is so clear
Calling all humans and able volunteers
Hotter than Abba in Nevada sun in a real small car with the windows rolled up
No super trooper because you pooped your pants and you’re screaming
Oh please just give me one more chance”
----
And now check out Papa Roach, singing about how goshdarned unfair it is that his favourite girl won’t appreciate him and doesn’t-that-just-make-you-want-to-cry?
“What I feel, what's the deal girl
We're tearin' up each others world
We should be in harmony boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn't be this way
I think we should work this out
'Cause all I didn't mean is to scream and shout
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
I'm the jerk!
Life's not fair!
She loves me not!
Loves me not!
-------
Now I ask you, Pure Rock Fury? Or snotty-nosed, juddery-breath sulky whines about being treated harshly?
And if you’re not sure, wait until puberty is over and you’ll see life doesn’t suck, it’s just everyone is avoiding you precisely because you’re a moany skaterboarder.
Lighten up, open your curtain, wash that gel out of your hair and stop getting Henna tattoos at festivals, because we’re not paying any attention anymore.
We’re over here rocking.
HEY HEY NOW WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
Sulky, confused male-teens shut in their bedrooms thinking everyone hates them when everyone is just wondering why little Timmy is such a grumpy tool.
And one of the worst offenders of this shouty-shorts rock is Papa Roach.
Now if you like them, I’m not having a dig at you, I’m merely saying that Papa Roach are at the vanguard of contrived red-faced running-upstairs-and-slamming-the-door rock.
Rock is supposed to be about having fun, drinking with your mates, enjoying life and realising that god gave rock and roll to you.
It’s not meant to be an outlet for teen angst, go buy Alanis Morisette for that sort of thing. Hey man, she like…totally feels your disaffected discombobulation. Buy her records and empathise with the knowledge that she may be a multi-millionairess but she feels your pain.
Rock is a celebration of big loud fun.
If I go to a rock gig, I want to stand there with a big grin on ma face and shout along with an arm around my mate’s shoulder as we quaff cold beer and stare at boobs. I don’t want to wear a hoodie and pretend that life sucks “man” and “Life’s Not Fair”.
I’m there to singalong and go home feeling happy because I’ve spent the past 90 mins in the company of rock.
Rock = Ruling the world with riffs. It’s being allowed the chance to live a life you want to, so bloody celebrate that instead of writing songs about how much jobs suck and isn’t it all so tough.
That’s why I love Clutch.
They absolutely have the right idea. The music is riotous, loud and makes you feel happy. But not happy in a “Aren’t S-Club just the greatest!!!” kind of stupid happy.
But happy because you know they’re having a fantastic time recording that, and if you ever see them live, the singer spends most of the gig with a big stupid grin and dancing like an old man, high-fiving the audience at the front of the stage.,
Grix can tell you, they may be loud but damn if they don’t play the funky tunes. Not James Brown funky (although that too is good), but raw dirty-blues tinged funky tunes.
So on the one hand, you have a bunch of guys in jeans making music for the sakes of it, fantastic tunes you can tap along to and play when the sun is out and you have mates in the garden barbecuing.
Or you can listen to guys being profesionally cynical and writing songs about how rubbish everything is, a designed contrived and ultimately silly outlook. Because boys outgrow that “I hate you” phase and move into “I rule”, exactly like Kevin the Teenager from Harry Enfield.
Check the lyrics below for an example of what rock is and should be.
Clutch singing “Pure Rock Fury”. A celebration of nonsensical rockness.
----
“Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River
That’s right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board
Andretti’s never raced me but if he want’s to?
Oh I’m ready, ready
Co-ordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point
But I make due with what I have
Pure Rock Fury the solution is so clear
Calling all humans and able volunteers
Hotter than Abba in Nevada sun in a real small car with the windows rolled up
No super trooper because you pooped your pants and you’re screaming
Oh please just give me one more chance”
----
And now check out Papa Roach, singing about how goshdarned unfair it is that his favourite girl won’t appreciate him and doesn’t-that-just-make-you-want-to-cry?
“What I feel, what's the deal girl
We're tearin' up each others world
We should be in harmony boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn't be this way
I think we should work this out
'Cause all I didn't mean is to scream and shout
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
I'm the jerk!
Life's not fair!
She loves me not!
Loves me not!
-------
Now I ask you, Pure Rock Fury? Or snotty-nosed, juddery-breath sulky whines about being treated harshly?
And if you’re not sure, wait until puberty is over and you’ll see life doesn’t suck, it’s just everyone is avoiding you precisely because you’re a moany skaterboarder.
Lighten up, open your curtain, wash that gel out of your hair and stop getting Henna tattoos at festivals, because we’re not paying any attention anymore.
We’re over here rocking.
HEY HEY NOW WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
Page:
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This is why “nu-metal” is cheesy crap and appeals to the lowest and easiest target-market:
Sulky, confused male-teens shut in their bedrooms thinking everyone hates them when everyone is just wondering why little Timmy is such a grumpy tool.
And one of the worst offenders of this shouty-shorts rock is Papa Roach.
Now if you like them, I’m not having a dig at you, I’m merely saying that Papa Roach are at the vanguard of contrived red-faced running-upstairs-and-slamming-the-door rock.
Rock is supposed to be about having fun, drinking with your mates, enjoying life and realising that god gave rock and roll to you.
It’s not meant to be an outlet for teen angst, go buy Alanis Morisette for that sort of thing. Hey man, she like…totally feels your disaffected discombobulation. Buy her records and empathise with the knowledge that she may be a multi-millionairess but she feels your pain.
Rock is a celebration of big loud fun.
If I go to a rock gig, I want to stand there with a big grin on ma face and shout along with an arm around my mate’s shoulder as we quaff cold beer and stare at boobs. I don’t want to wear a hoodie and pretend that life sucks “man” and “Life’s Not Fair”.
I’m there to singalong and go home feeling happy because I’ve spent the past 90 mins in the company of rock.
Rock = Ruling the world with riffs. It’s being allowed the chance to live a life you want to, so bloody celebrate that instead of writing songs about how much jobs suck and isn’t it all so tough.
That’s why I love Clutch.
They absolutely have the right idea. The music is riotous, loud and makes you feel happy. But not happy in a “Aren’t S-Club just the greatest!!!” kind of stupid happy.
But happy because you know they’re having a fantastic time recording that, and if you ever see them live, the singer spends most of the gig with a big stupid grin and dancing like an old man, high-fiving the audience at the front of the stage.,
Grix can tell you, they may be loud but damn if they don’t play the funky tunes. Not James Brown funky (although that too is good), but raw dirty-blues tinged funky tunes.
So on the one hand, you have a bunch of guys in jeans making music for the sakes of it, fantastic tunes you can tap along to and play when the sun is out and you have mates in the garden barbecuing.
Or you can listen to guys being profesionally cynical and writing songs about how rubbish everything is, a designed contrived and ultimately silly outlook. Because boys outgrow that “I hate you” phase and move into “I rule”, exactly like Kevin the Teenager from Harry Enfield.
Check the lyrics below for an example of what rock is and should be.
Clutch singing “Pure Rock Fury”. A celebration of nonsensical rockness.
----
“Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River
That’s right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board
Andretti’s never raced me but if he want’s to?
Oh I’m ready, ready
Co-ordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point
But I make due with what I have
Pure Rock Fury the solution is so clear
Calling all humans and able volunteers
Hotter than Abba in Nevada sun in a real small car with the windows rolled up
No super trooper because you pooped your pants and you’re screaming
Oh please just give me one more chance”
----
And now check out Papa Roach, singing about how goshdarned unfair it is that his favourite girl won’t appreciate him and doesn’t-that-just-make-you-want-to-cry?
“What I feel, what's the deal girl
We're tearin' up each others world
We should be in harmony boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn't be this way
I think we should work this out
'Cause all I didn't mean is to scream and shout
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
I'm the jerk!
Life's not fair!
She loves me not!
Loves me not!
-------
Now I ask you, Pure Rock Fury? Or snotty-nosed, juddery-breath sulky whines about being treated harshly?
And if you’re not sure, wait until puberty is over and you’ll see life doesn’t suck, it’s just everyone is avoiding you precisely because you’re a moany skaterboarder.
Lighten up, open your curtain, wash that gel out of your hair and stop getting Henna tattoos at festivals, because we’re not paying any attention anymore.
We’re over here rocking.
HEY HEY NOW WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
Sulky, confused male-teens shut in their bedrooms thinking everyone hates them when everyone is just wondering why little Timmy is such a grumpy tool.
And one of the worst offenders of this shouty-shorts rock is Papa Roach.
Now if you like them, I’m not having a dig at you, I’m merely saying that Papa Roach are at the vanguard of contrived red-faced running-upstairs-and-slamming-the-door rock.
Rock is supposed to be about having fun, drinking with your mates, enjoying life and realising that god gave rock and roll to you.
It’s not meant to be an outlet for teen angst, go buy Alanis Morisette for that sort of thing. Hey man, she like…totally feels your disaffected discombobulation. Buy her records and empathise with the knowledge that she may be a multi-millionairess but she feels your pain.
Rock is a celebration of big loud fun.
If I go to a rock gig, I want to stand there with a big grin on ma face and shout along with an arm around my mate’s shoulder as we quaff cold beer and stare at boobs. I don’t want to wear a hoodie and pretend that life sucks “man” and “Life’s Not Fair”.
I’m there to singalong and go home feeling happy because I’ve spent the past 90 mins in the company of rock.
Rock = Ruling the world with riffs. It’s being allowed the chance to live a life you want to, so bloody celebrate that instead of writing songs about how much jobs suck and isn’t it all so tough.
That’s why I love Clutch.
They absolutely have the right idea. The music is riotous, loud and makes you feel happy. But not happy in a “Aren’t S-Club just the greatest!!!” kind of stupid happy.
But happy because you know they’re having a fantastic time recording that, and if you ever see them live, the singer spends most of the gig with a big stupid grin and dancing like an old man, high-fiving the audience at the front of the stage.,
Grix can tell you, they may be loud but damn if they don’t play the funky tunes. Not James Brown funky (although that too is good), but raw dirty-blues tinged funky tunes.
So on the one hand, you have a bunch of guys in jeans making music for the sakes of it, fantastic tunes you can tap along to and play when the sun is out and you have mates in the garden barbecuing.
Or you can listen to guys being profesionally cynical and writing songs about how rubbish everything is, a designed contrived and ultimately silly outlook. Because boys outgrow that “I hate you” phase and move into “I rule”, exactly like Kevin the Teenager from Harry Enfield.
Check the lyrics below for an example of what rock is and should be.
Clutch singing “Pure Rock Fury”. A celebration of nonsensical rockness.
----
“Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River
That’s right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board
Andretti’s never raced me but if he want’s to?
Oh I’m ready, ready
Co-ordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point
But I make due with what I have
Pure Rock Fury the solution is so clear
Calling all humans and able volunteers
Hotter than Abba in Nevada sun in a real small car with the windows rolled up
No super trooper because you pooped your pants and you’re screaming
Oh please just give me one more chance”
----
And now check out Papa Roach, singing about how goshdarned unfair it is that his favourite girl won’t appreciate him and doesn’t-that-just-make-you-want-to-cry?
“What I feel, what's the deal girl
We're tearin' up each others world
We should be in harmony boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn't be this way
I think we should work this out
'Cause all I didn't mean is to scream and shout
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
Life's not fair!
I'm the jerk!
Life's not fair!
She loves me not!
Loves me not!
-------
Now I ask you, Pure Rock Fury? Or snotty-nosed, juddery-breath sulky whines about being treated harshly?
And if you’re not sure, wait until puberty is over and you’ll see life doesn’t suck, it’s just everyone is avoiding you precisely because you’re a moany skaterboarder.
Lighten up, open your curtain, wash that gel out of your hair and stop getting Henna tattoos at festivals, because we’re not paying any attention anymore.
We’re over here rocking.
HEY HEY NOW WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
Page: