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"Fight for the million"

All of that effortless training is about to take it's toll with nine men after the million pound jackpot for survival.
*hmm, this sounds familiar*

Everyone lines up outside the G5 Grid, with a big shiny door behind them, they close their eyes, and hear these words, "You brought yourself into this, so don't blame me if you're the first to die! It isn't about money, friendship or prizes. You're all about to face the border between life and nonlife, without any Creme Eggs or bogies to munch on, without any Coca Cola or saliva to slurp on, and the one who is left alive at the very end will be the . . err. . .erm. . .damn! I hate it when you forget what you were saying. erm. . . Survivor, yeah, that's right." All the competitors, Microchips, Joe, Liquid S, Pringle, Ashman Bigman, JC, Ice Blaster and Badgerman look up, towards Twain, as he continues, "Now, you will all go in one by one, at three minute intervals, with nothing except yourself. Get a weapon, and a good vantage point. You will then hear a buzzer. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to start. It's all up to you from there. Any questions, guys?"
There is a long silence, and slowly, quietly, and embarrassed being the only one with a question, Microchips raises his hand. Twain sighs.
"This isn't school, y'know. Just ask the question as soon as you get it. Don't bother raising your hand."
"Oh . . .err. . ." Microchips quickly withdraws his hand from the air. "Is there a bog in there?"
"No."
"Damn!" Is there one which I can use before I go in?"
Twain doesn't say a word, but points to a door to his right.
"Thank you," says Microchips.
"Does anybody else have a question?" Says Twain, turning back towards the rest of the bunch. "No?" There is another long silence. The door to Twain's right unlocks, and Microchips pokes his head around the door. "There's no bog roll!" He says.
"Oh. . .just. . .use your sleeve!" Says Ice Blaster, getting agitated from all the waiting.
"Hey, quiet you!" Says Twain. "Just use your sleeve!"
"Okay!" After a few minute, Microchips emerges from the very small room.
"Are you quite finished?" Says Twain.
"Not yet," Microchips replies.
Twain sighs. "What now then?"
Microchips says nothing. He turns towards the door to the toilet and lets one rip. "Ahh, that's better!"
"Okay, Microchips. You'd better go in first before we have any more hold-ups."
Microchips enters and runs towards the nearest weapon, a Falcon 2, and ten runs into a small hidey hole just below the stairs and waits.

One by one, each person enters, with three minutes between each. As the last one enters, the whole Grid remains silent. Three minutes later, the buzzer sounds. . .

All of that effortless training is about to take it's toll with nine men after the million pound jackpot for survival.
*hmm, this sounds familiar*

Everyone lines up outside the G5 Grid, with a big shiny door behind them, they close their eyes, and hear these words, "You brought yourself into this, so don't blame me if you're the first to die! It isn't about money, friendship or prizes. You're all about to face the border between life and nonlife, without any Creme Eggs or bogies to munch on, without any Coca Cola or saliva to slurp on, and the one who is left alive at the very end will be the . . err. . .erm. . .damn! I hate it when you forget what you were saying. erm. . . Survivor, yeah, that's right." All the competitors, Microchips, Joe, Liquid S, Pringle, Ashman Bigman, JC, Ice Blaster and Badgerman look up, towards Twain, as he continues, "Now, you will all go in one by one, at three minute intervals, with nothing except yourself. Get a weapon, and a good vantage point. You will then hear a buzzer. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to start. It's all up to you from there. Any questions, guys?"
There is a long silence, and slowly, quietly, and embarrassed being the only one with a question, Microchips raises his hand. Twain sighs.
"This isn't school, y'know. Just ask the question as soon as you get it. Don't bother raising your hand."
"Oh . . .err. . ." Microchips quickly withdraws his hand from the air. "Is there a bog in there?"
"No."
"Damn!" Is there one which I can use before I go in?"
Twain doesn't say a word, but points to a door to his right.
"Thank you," says Microchips.
"Does anybody else have a question?" Says Twain, turning back towards the rest of the bunch. "No?" There is another long silence. The door to Twain's right unlocks, and Microchips pokes his head around the door. "There's no bog roll!" He says.
"Oh. . .just. . .use your sleeve!" Says Ice Blaster, getting agitated from all the waiting.
"Hey, quiet you!" Says Twain. "Just use your sleeve!"
"Okay!" After a few minute, Microchips emerges from the very small room.
"Are you quite finished?" Says Twain.
"Not yet," Microchips replies.
Twain sighs. "What now then?"
Microchips says nothing. He turns towards the door to the toilet and lets one rip. "Ahh, that's better!"
"Okay, Microchips. You'd better go in first before we have any more hold-ups."
Microchips enters and runs towards the nearest weapon, a Falcon 2, and ten runs into a small hidey hole just below the stairs and waits.

One by one, each person enters, with three minutes between each. As the last one enters, the whole Grid remains silent. Three minutes later, the buzzer sounds. . .

HaHa- great, I love it! Do you have a bog? That's the sort of thing I would say in real life! LOL- I haven't laughed so hard in ages!

Bring on the rest!!

Microchips wrote:
> HaHa- great, I love it! Do you have a bog? That's the sort of thing
> I would say in real life! LOL- I haven't laughed so hard in ages!
>
> Bring on the rest!!

I thought you'd be the first to reply! I'm glad you find it funny. That's what I intended! lol!

Twain wrote:
> I thought you'd be the first to reply! I'm glad you find it funny.
> That's what I intended! lol!

You wrote it well! When I do my next spoof, i'll put you in it, if you want!

I haven't got a clue what it's about but it was pretty good anyway.

I'd like that! Thanks!

Can you read my post spoof in FOG chat please? Thanks.

Kung-Fu Priest wrote:
> I haven't got a clue what it's about but it was pretty good anyway.

If you haven't played Perfect Dark, then you wouldn't know.

It's the type of spoof that you will be included in!

If I had written it, I'd have put more jokes in it, but it was good fun anyway!