The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Being a bloke, this seems like a weird thing to do, but then again, everything seems that way. We live in a world where you always have to worry about what everyone else thinks and don't have enough room for an opinion, well, that's the way it seems so far. We are always here, listening to others and what they think, but our voices cannot be heard from underneath the sounds of the rulers. The rulers - the people who dominant and are respected. There's one everywhere and anywhere you go. They exist, built on reputation and will normally be the brain dead morons, who have never future.
This, is a journal, and it's on my computer, which just happens to be password protected, but for some reason, there is still the essence of fear. The fear of others seeing that I think, the fear of what others will think, the fear that exists, partially because I've created it for myself, but more because of how others act towards a situation.
So, I gather I'm now supposed to talk about my personal life. Is this the time where I talk freely, not having to use the delete key, or have to word it so that it sounds better? Or is this a time where I take the time to think of what I'm saying? Either way, I'll just talk as I go along.
My life:
In the space of a single year, everything has changed. Everything that I was, everyone that I knew, everything that made me, me, has all gone. I'm not me anymore. I'm just pretending. I'm more like the person I want to be, but I don't like it. My daily life consists of one thing and only one thing - computers. It's now become more of an addiction, something more like a reputation that I've gathered for myself. I'm not even really sure as to whether I like it that much, but I do it, because there is nothing else to do. And more besides, I feel I have to. People see me as something, and I live up to it. Perhaps, I shouldn't care anymore. Perhaps, there is nothing ever to worry about, as that's the impression I give. Do I appear to other people as someone who is depressed? Am I depressed? Questions that I don't really know if I could answer anymore.
As I was saying, I'm not me. This isn't me. The quiet person; the person who gives in; the person who doesn't have an opinion. No-one is anyone, who doesn't stand out. The quiet kid in the corner might be the most intelligent person in the entire school, but without a personalilty for others to know, that kid in the corner is just a target. The way I cross people: Probably as a bit of an idiot who is there for when you want something. Is that the way I want people to see me? Do I want people to think that I'm a push over? Well, yes, I do. I want people to feel they can go to me in times of help, but that then turns into greed, as that's all humans can see. Temptation.
Something that no-one can resist. You want something, you've got to have it. The same goes for me, after all, I'm only human. But, the one thing I want more then anything, I'm too afraid to go and get. Do I dare even print her name? I don't see any harm. Sophie. That's it. Yes, I've changed and probably not for the best, but have I done anything wrong? From 2 months of flirting and talking, to silence. What could I have done? So many questions, and the answers are probably something that I either don't want to know, or not ready to find out.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to fear. No Hope = No Fear. Well, I don't think there is much hope for me in this world. I suppose, this looks like a desperate plee for attention, but is there anything unique about me to make me stand out? What is people's impression of me. I feel like I'm trapped, and I can't really be set free. I'm lost. I'm living in a world, where I don't have a life. I take too much for granted and don't give people a chance. Can someone restore my faith in humanity? Is there hope out there?
There are things that you accept. There are things that you wish you didn't have to accept. Then, there are things you accept with contempt. The power of words. When you're younger, it's all the verbal abuse about your apperance. Your apperance: something that you can't change. Something that you never choose. Something that can only really be changed by cosmetics and a hell of a lot of money. That's the only reason that plastic surgeons exists, it's all down to fear. People fear what others think of them, and this results in the need to be better then what you are. But, really, what makes you, you, isn't fancy dress' or big muscles, it's what's inside of you. That sounds corny, but it's true. You can't change the way you look, but you can change who you are. Now, as I was saying, the power of words. When being told, that the person you love (am I really able to say that?) doesn't really want to know. The tragic part is, you don't really know if it's your fault.
I've went on enough.
This, is a journal, and it's on my computer, which just happens to be password protected, but for some reason, there is still the essence of fear. The fear of others seeing that I think, the fear of what others will think, the fear that exists, partially because I've created it for myself, but more because of how others act towards a situation.
So, I gather I'm now supposed to talk about my personal life. Is this the time where I talk freely, not having to use the delete key, or have to word it so that it sounds better? Or is this a time where I take the time to think of what I'm saying? Either way, I'll just talk as I go along.
My life:
In the space of a single year, everything has changed. Everything that I was, everyone that I knew, everything that made me, me, has all gone. I'm not me anymore. I'm just pretending. I'm more like the person I want to be, but I don't like it. My daily life consists of one thing and only one thing - computers. It's now become more of an addiction, something more like a reputation that I've gathered for myself. I'm not even really sure as to whether I like it that much, but I do it, because there is nothing else to do. And more besides, I feel I have to. People see me as something, and I live up to it. Perhaps, I shouldn't care anymore. Perhaps, there is nothing ever to worry about, as that's the impression I give. Do I appear to other people as someone who is depressed? Am I depressed? Questions that I don't really know if I could answer anymore.
As I was saying, I'm not me. This isn't me. The quiet person; the person who gives in; the person who doesn't have an opinion. No-one is anyone, who doesn't stand out. The quiet kid in the corner might be the most intelligent person in the entire school, but without a personalilty for others to know, that kid in the corner is just a target. The way I cross people: Probably as a bit of an idiot who is there for when you want something. Is that the way I want people to see me? Do I want people to think that I'm a push over? Well, yes, I do. I want people to feel they can go to me in times of help, but that then turns into greed, as that's all humans can see. Temptation.
Something that no-one can resist. You want something, you've got to have it. The same goes for me, after all, I'm only human. But, the one thing I want more then anything, I'm too afraid to go and get. Do I dare even print her name? I don't see any harm. Sophie. That's it. Yes, I've changed and probably not for the best, but have I done anything wrong? From 2 months of flirting and talking, to silence. What could I have done? So many questions, and the answers are probably something that I either don't want to know, or not ready to find out.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to fear. No Hope = No Fear. Well, I don't think there is much hope for me in this world. I suppose, this looks like a desperate plee for attention, but is there anything unique about me to make me stand out? What is people's impression of me. I feel like I'm trapped, and I can't really be set free. I'm lost. I'm living in a world, where I don't have a life. I take too much for granted and don't give people a chance. Can someone restore my faith in humanity? Is there hope out there?
There are things that you accept. There are things that you wish you didn't have to accept. Then, there are things you accept with contempt. The power of words. When you're younger, it's all the verbal abuse about your apperance. Your apperance: something that you can't change. Something that you never choose. Something that can only really be changed by cosmetics and a hell of a lot of money. That's the only reason that plastic surgeons exists, it's all down to fear. People fear what others think of them, and this results in the need to be better then what you are. But, really, what makes you, you, isn't fancy dress' or big muscles, it's what's inside of you. That sounds corny, but it's true. You can't change the way you look, but you can change who you are. Now, as I was saying, the power of words. When being told, that the person you love (am I really able to say that?) doesn't really want to know. The tragic part is, you don't really know if it's your fault.
I've went on enough.
Page:
There is hope. There is always hope. You may say you feel you have no voice, but just typing views and opinions on here, people read them. People think about those views and you can influence people. People CAN change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. But you can influence that change. As for love, who knows what went wrong, or where the blame is placed, if there even is any blame. But you can find out. Is it worse to live life with no hope, or live life fearing some things, but still with hopes and dreams for something better?
I know people percieve me in a certain way at school, and I know that their perceptions of me have changed over time. I think all humans wish they could change the way in which others percieve ourselves, often we will tell them things about us we think they will respect, but if we only tell others what we want to tell them about ourselves, do they really know us?
I feel I may be getting off the point, if I even started with any point, so I think this is where the post ends.
I know people percieve me in a certain way at school, and I know that their perceptions of me have changed over time. I think all humans wish they could change the way in which others percieve ourselves, often we will tell them things about us we think they will respect, but if we only tell others what we want to tell them about ourselves, do they really know us?
I feel I may be getting off the point, if I even started with any point, so I think this is where the post ends.
Being a bloke, this seems like a weird thing to do, but then again, everything seems that way. We live in a world where you always have to worry about what everyone else thinks and don't have enough room for an opinion, well, that's the way it seems so far. We are always here, listening to others and what they think, but our voices cannot be heard from underneath the sounds of the rulers. The rulers - the people who dominant and are respected. There's one everywhere and anywhere you go. They exist, built on reputation and will normally be the brain dead morons, who have never future.
This, is a journal, and it's on my computer, which just happens to be password protected, but for some reason, there is still the essence of fear. The fear of others seeing that I think, the fear of what others will think, the fear that exists, partially because I've created it for myself, but more because of how others act towards a situation.
So, I gather I'm now supposed to talk about my personal life. Is this the time where I talk freely, not having to use the delete key, or have to word it so that it sounds better? Or is this a time where I take the time to think of what I'm saying? Either way, I'll just talk as I go along.
My life:
In the space of a single year, everything has changed. Everything that I was, everyone that I knew, everything that made me, me, has all gone. I'm not me anymore. I'm just pretending. I'm more like the person I want to be, but I don't like it. My daily life consists of one thing and only one thing - computers. It's now become more of an addiction, something more like a reputation that I've gathered for myself. I'm not even really sure as to whether I like it that much, but I do it, because there is nothing else to do. And more besides, I feel I have to. People see me as something, and I live up to it. Perhaps, I shouldn't care anymore. Perhaps, there is nothing ever to worry about, as that's the impression I give. Do I appear to other people as someone who is depressed? Am I depressed? Questions that I don't really know if I could answer anymore.
As I was saying, I'm not me. This isn't me. The quiet person; the person who gives in; the person who doesn't have an opinion. No-one is anyone, who doesn't stand out. The quiet kid in the corner might be the most intelligent person in the entire school, but without a personalilty for others to know, that kid in the corner is just a target. The way I cross people: Probably as a bit of an idiot who is there for when you want something. Is that the way I want people to see me? Do I want people to think that I'm a push over? Well, yes, I do. I want people to feel they can go to me in times of help, but that then turns into greed, as that's all humans can see. Temptation.
Something that no-one can resist. You want something, you've got to have it. The same goes for me, after all, I'm only human. But, the one thing I want more then anything, I'm too afraid to go and get. Do I dare even print her name? I don't see any harm. Sophie. That's it. Yes, I've changed and probably not for the best, but have I done anything wrong? From 2 months of flirting and talking, to silence. What could I have done? So many questions, and the answers are probably something that I either don't want to know, or not ready to find out.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to fear. No Hope = No Fear. Well, I don't think there is much hope for me in this world. I suppose, this looks like a desperate plee for attention, but is there anything unique about me to make me stand out? What is people's impression of me. I feel like I'm trapped, and I can't really be set free. I'm lost. I'm living in a world, where I don't have a life. I take too much for granted and don't give people a chance. Can someone restore my faith in humanity? Is there hope out there?
There are things that you accept. There are things that you wish you didn't have to accept. Then, there are things you accept with contempt. The power of words. When you're younger, it's all the verbal abuse about your apperance. Your apperance: something that you can't change. Something that you never choose. Something that can only really be changed by cosmetics and a hell of a lot of money. That's the only reason that plastic surgeons exists, it's all down to fear. People fear what others think of them, and this results in the need to be better then what you are. But, really, what makes you, you, isn't fancy dress' or big muscles, it's what's inside of you. That sounds corny, but it's true. You can't change the way you look, but you can change who you are. Now, as I was saying, the power of words. When being told, that the person you love (am I really able to say that?) doesn't really want to know. The tragic part is, you don't really know if it's your fault.
I've went on enough.
This, is a journal, and it's on my computer, which just happens to be password protected, but for some reason, there is still the essence of fear. The fear of others seeing that I think, the fear of what others will think, the fear that exists, partially because I've created it for myself, but more because of how others act towards a situation.
So, I gather I'm now supposed to talk about my personal life. Is this the time where I talk freely, not having to use the delete key, or have to word it so that it sounds better? Or is this a time where I take the time to think of what I'm saying? Either way, I'll just talk as I go along.
My life:
In the space of a single year, everything has changed. Everything that I was, everyone that I knew, everything that made me, me, has all gone. I'm not me anymore. I'm just pretending. I'm more like the person I want to be, but I don't like it. My daily life consists of one thing and only one thing - computers. It's now become more of an addiction, something more like a reputation that I've gathered for myself. I'm not even really sure as to whether I like it that much, but I do it, because there is nothing else to do. And more besides, I feel I have to. People see me as something, and I live up to it. Perhaps, I shouldn't care anymore. Perhaps, there is nothing ever to worry about, as that's the impression I give. Do I appear to other people as someone who is depressed? Am I depressed? Questions that I don't really know if I could answer anymore.
As I was saying, I'm not me. This isn't me. The quiet person; the person who gives in; the person who doesn't have an opinion. No-one is anyone, who doesn't stand out. The quiet kid in the corner might be the most intelligent person in the entire school, but without a personalilty for others to know, that kid in the corner is just a target. The way I cross people: Probably as a bit of an idiot who is there for when you want something. Is that the way I want people to see me? Do I want people to think that I'm a push over? Well, yes, I do. I want people to feel they can go to me in times of help, but that then turns into greed, as that's all humans can see. Temptation.
Something that no-one can resist. You want something, you've got to have it. The same goes for me, after all, I'm only human. But, the one thing I want more then anything, I'm too afraid to go and get. Do I dare even print her name? I don't see any harm. Sophie. That's it. Yes, I've changed and probably not for the best, but have I done anything wrong? From 2 months of flirting and talking, to silence. What could I have done? So many questions, and the answers are probably something that I either don't want to know, or not ready to find out.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to fear. No Hope = No Fear. Well, I don't think there is much hope for me in this world. I suppose, this looks like a desperate plee for attention, but is there anything unique about me to make me stand out? What is people's impression of me. I feel like I'm trapped, and I can't really be set free. I'm lost. I'm living in a world, where I don't have a life. I take too much for granted and don't give people a chance. Can someone restore my faith in humanity? Is there hope out there?
There are things that you accept. There are things that you wish you didn't have to accept. Then, there are things you accept with contempt. The power of words. When you're younger, it's all the verbal abuse about your apperance. Your apperance: something that you can't change. Something that you never choose. Something that can only really be changed by cosmetics and a hell of a lot of money. That's the only reason that plastic surgeons exists, it's all down to fear. People fear what others think of them, and this results in the need to be better then what you are. But, really, what makes you, you, isn't fancy dress' or big muscles, it's what's inside of you. That sounds corny, but it's true. You can't change the way you look, but you can change who you are. Now, as I was saying, the power of words. When being told, that the person you love (am I really able to say that?) doesn't really want to know. The tragic part is, you don't really know if it's your fault.
I've went on enough.
Page: