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"Stronger"

I know I put this in the Life Forum, but not many people go there (and if they do it's usually to talk about football), so I've pasted it in here. Hope that's okay with everyone.

I've noticed something about myself lately. I'm stronger. Not in a physical way (although my muscular form is indeed impressive), I mean inside me. An emotional way.

When I was about 5 or 6 I used to cry at anything. I had an awful teacher at the Infants:

*We walk into school for our second year with her*

Teacher: Just sit down and don't annoy me, I'm already angry that I've got you lot to deal with again this year.

And I think this is where I lost all my confidence. I still struggle today- I'm nervous around girls and new people especially, something I desperately want to get over but just can't.

I'm very sensitive too (that's not in a boastful way). Everytime a hurtful comment is directed at me, I get annoyed and feel humiliated. I don't say anything, I just hold it inside and let myself quietly and slowly burn with rage.

I'm 14 now, and on Tuesday a couple of people said things about me. There's one boy who is a prime member of the 'cool' group in my year, and often I have heard stories of what they get up to during weekends, especially at night. Totally insane. But anyway, there are a few guys of that group I don't mind, and a few I don't like at all, and this guy's one of the latter. Basically, he enjoys insulting the quieter members of the year, pretty much anyone he doesn't know well. In other words, he's a mouthy git.

Anyway, I happen to (grudgingly) sit on his table in my RS lesson, and he asked people for a black pen. He knew most of the people on my table and so when they denied having one, he didn't care. He asked me, and truthfully, I said no. Then, he had the nerve to call me a "dirty little liar." It may not sound like much but this offended me, because I hardly ever lie. Hardly ever, and yet I've heard him lie on numerous occasions! He continued to plague me with stupid insults, and it was a relief when the lesson finally came to an end.

Usually, this would trouble me for at least a couple of days. I'd waste time thinking it over, asking myself if it was true and that I was a nobody. An idiot. I'd get over it of course, but just knowing that a lary piece of crap like him had caused me to worry for a couple of days made me angry. But I could do nothing.

However, it was different this time. I got home and suddenly remembered what he said. And you know what? I didn't care. And I still don't. I'm not sure what has made me realise this, maybe God (no religion arguments please, just my view), but I know that this guy is a nobody. He doesn't like to make people feel good about themselves. And also, he's dumb. Thick. Maybe that's not a nice thing to say, but his attitude towards life certainly won't help him. I'm going to get a decent job when I'm older, I work hard at school (well, to an extent) and I don't want to make people feel like crap. This may sound boastful again, but I think it's true, I'm a better person than he is.

Also that day, a nice looking girl came up to me and said:

"Yagosarner?"

"What?" I replied, confused.

"Yagosarner?"

"Sorry?"

Finally, my friend told me she was asking for a sharpener. I said no, and then she said:

"No, and you haven't got any brains either."

Usually this would've hurt me, but it didn't. I even managed to say a, "yeah, shush," back to her! :D

To be perfectly honest, this girl is a loud-mouthed b***h. In my view, she's not going to lead a happy life is she continues like that. Do I care about what she said? No, because it's a lie. I have brains, probably more than her. And hey, at least I can speak properly!

I'm pleased to be writing about something good that's happened to me, rather than telling a tragic story about girlfriend like last time. I hope you don't think I'm being boastful or out of order, I'd just like to share with you what's happened to me. Maybe these forums have helped me, they allow me to express feelings lime these which I usually would be afraid to let out.

I can't really think of anything more to say, but to thank-you for reading. If you have then I very much appreciate it, because it means you took a few minutes out of your precious lives to read something written by me.

Thanks for reading, Ant.

PS-For those of you know me well, I hope that you're interested in reading my full MGS2 review which will be up in FOG Prime at some point during the next week. Strange how a mere video game can mean so much to me. I know most of you won't care, but a few will know that I've been bantering on about MGS2 since I finished MGS, and so I hope they will want to read my final thoughts on something I'm so passionate about.

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> Hercules! wrote:
I am the real Hercules!
The one in that was just an
> imposter!

:D

----------

So you didn't sleep with all those beautiful
> women? Devastating

----------

ah my good friend MoJoJoJo,
How nice that we meet again,

How has your adventures with the powerpuff girls been lately?

And to answer your question,
No, unfortunately.

Maybe someday. hehe

Lodge wrote:
> Great post Ant!:D

I have notice at school that there is like a divide of
> people, if that makes sense, and that there are only certain people that can
> give it lair to others. And if someone that isn't 'Allowed' to will then get
> even more lair back. Its a strange world at our school, probably the same at all
> the other schools, i'm sure you know and i can probably guess who the lairy
> little ******* are.
I know where your coming from.:)

by the name of hercules (a greek exclamation/oath) this fool is sticking to the original topic

should have stopped while there was still some doubt about my insanity instead of confirming it.

and i would have got away with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids

Hercules! wrote:
I am the real Hercules!
The one in that was just an imposter!

:D

----------

So you didn't sleep with all those beautiful women? Devastating

Great post Ant!:D

I have notice at school that there is like a divide of people, if that makes sense, and that there are only certain people that can give it lair to others. And if someone that isn't 'Allowed' to will then get even more lair back. Its a strange world at our school, probably the same at all the other schools, i'm sure you know and i can probably guess who the lairy little ******* are.
I know where your coming from.:)

****Tries to appear to be
> clever****

you see i subconciously tricked you into having a laugh at my
> expense to show you are no better than the people who wound you up.

***feels
> clever***

HONESTLY this was my intention all along.








if you
> believe this you'll believe anything.
#
---------------------

yeah ok,
whatever you say,
hehehe
unfortunately though i dont believe everything.

Mr. Happy wrote:
> Hercules! wrote:
>
I am the
> real Hercules!
The one in that was just
> an imposter!

mmmm... The force is strong in this one... mmmm

------------------

hehehe

errrrm

Quick im on channel4 now
"The Adventures of Hercules!"

Too slow,
just went off.

ahh well.

Hercules! wrote:
> A5hley wrote:
> glad we got that one sorted
> out

-----------------

nah,
i wasnt moaning at you or anything at any
> time.
just having a laugh

****Tries to appear to be clever****

you see i subconciously tricked you into having a laugh at my expense to show you are no better than the people who wound you up.

***feels clever***

HONESTLY this was my intention all along.








if you believe this you'll believe anything.

Hercules! wrote:
>
I am the
> real Hercules!
The one in that was just an imposter!

mmmm... The force is strong in this one... mmmm

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> You mean he's not really Hercules, star of "The Erotic Adventures Of
> Hercules"???

-----------------

I am the real Hercules!
The one in that was just an imposter!

:D