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"Endangered Species"

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Tue 26/11/02 at 22:43
Regular
Posts: 787
No, I’m not talking about African elephants, Dolphins, or even Dinosaurs (they’re extinct already you see). I’m talking about Pokemon.

Think about it. All these ‘trainers’ come and catch Pokemon from the wild, taking them out of their natural habitat and bung them in some ball. Then they make them fight one another. This might not seem too bad. Certainly the trainers don’t want their Pokemon killed do they? And on top of this there are safaris where Pokemon can roam relatively free. So you may be wondering why I fear for the survival of Pokemon. Well, I’ll tell you.

Have you ever wondered where Pokemon come from? Remember ‘The Birds And The Bees’? How about ‘When A Mummy And Daddy Love Each Other Very Much...’? Well then, what about Pokemon? They don’t exactly use their PokeBalls *groans from audience*. And a stork doesn’t air lift a baby Pokemon to its new parents.

Think about it. Have you ever seen a Pokemon’s... ahem... ‘stick of lurve’? No. They prance around naked all day, and still you never see 'it'. The closest thing any of them have are various spikes, tails or maybe a beak. And think of the hell Pikachu must have reproducing. When one gets too excited the resulting thunderstorm would undoubtedly wreak havoc with its lovers internal organs...

The Pokemon Chansey has eggs, but it seems to find more amusement from throwing them at people and other Pokemon than letting them hatch. The few Pokemon that do have an obvious gender look like they’d have a rough time in the sack... Think of the pain that a NidoKing would have to go through mounting a NidoQueen with tough, spiky scales all along her back! And Pokemon such as Snorlax will undoubtedly be far too tired to even contemplate sex, and no amount of kinky costumes will entice them from their sleep.

Other Pokemon must have a hard time attracting a partner. Venusaur looks a right pansy with a big flower on its back. Most other Pokemon probably think it’s gay. Forget garlic breath, Charizard fends off potential mates with fire breath. A lover with two or even three heads like Doduo or Dodrio may sound like immense fun for bedroom shenanigans, but can you imagine giving birth to a multi-headed kid? Ouch. Talking of pain, you don’t want to know about the mating rituals Ekans and Arbok the snake Pokemon get up to... Maybe some people do like being tied up, but these snakes take it way too far...

Mounting (no pun intended) evidence suggests that Pokemon are already becoming endangered. It is said that there's only one remaining of certain ‘legendary’ Pokemon, and scientists have resorted to bio-engineering unnatural Pokemon such as Mewtwo.

The combination of over zealous trainers and a lack of any obvious sexual organs spells disaster for the Pokemon race and for the thousands of people who get kinky thrills from watching them battle naked in the ring...
Fri 29/11/02 at 23:29
Regular
Posts: 13,611
That was great Sibs, with some moments that really made me laugh :D! Have they given out the GADs for the 26th yet? Because that's GOT to be a contender - the right length, and VERY funny.

Good job :D!
Wed 27/11/02 at 23:40
Regular
"Peace Respect Punk"
Posts: 8,069
Send the Pokemon living in that ball an eviction notice...?
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:54
Regular
Posts: 11,875
No, I meant everyone knows how they really fit in!

It is like a tardis, the inside of the Pokeball also adapts and creates an enviroment suitable to the Pokemon inside it, so they are comfortable.

Once you've caught a Pokemon with a paricular Pokeball you have to keep it in that ball, and you can't reuse it.

As far as I'm aware theres no way of reseting the Pokeball after use.
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:45
Regular
"Peace Respect Punk"
Posts: 8,069
Whitestripes wrote:
> rockin nanan wrote:
> i want to know whats in a pokeball cos its tiny do the pokemon
> shrink
> how do they fit in
>
> Duh, everyone knows that.
>
> You should be ashamed of yourself, go away and don't come back until
> you know.

No Whitestripes, you're are totally wrong!!! Pokeballs are like the Tardis (y'know that phone booth from Dr. Who...) They look tiny on the outside, but they're giant on the inside. Maybe...
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:10
Posts: 0
sorry ive mended my ways and i know the white light grabs them and drags them in
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:08
Regular
Posts: 11,875
rockin nanan wrote:
> i want to know whats in a pokeball cos its tiny do the pokemon shrink
> how do they fit in

Duh, everyone knows that.

You should be ashamed of yourself, go away and don't come back until you know.
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:07
Regular
Posts: 11,875
No, Poliwags are fine.

It's the proper fish though, Goldeen for example.

It just..floats...
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:07
Posts: 0
i want to know whats in a pokeball cos its tiny do the pokemon shrink how do they fit in
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:05
Posts: 0
Whitestripes wrote:
> What I really want to know is how all these water pokemon survive
> fights in pokemon stadium, they'd have suffocated before it even
> started!
it has breathing aparatus i think it cant breath noooooooo polywag
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:03
Regular
Posts: 11,875
Sibs wrote:
> Whitestripes wrote:
> Good job they aren't real eh Sibs :D
> ***
> They aren't...?!?

Of course they are!

I was just messing with you, got to go feed my Charmander now.

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